Yarra’s Adventure Notes
Chapter 1513 - 299: The Last Nightmare

Chapter 1513: Chapter 299: The Last Nightmare

"What do you mean?" Pannis looked confused and asked, "Even if you kill me, I can still become undead? Impossible."

"Uh, I’m not sure about that, but I think it’s mostly unlikely." Nellie was also stunned by Pannis’s question, and said with a bitter smile, "After all, I’m different from other creatures now."

"Exactly, that’s what I thought," Pannis sighed, "From the moment you acted on behalf of the deity’s authority, your body was transformed into a perfect Divine Body. It’s impossible for you to become undead, not even a ghost without substance is possible. I’ve considered this issue a long time ago. So what do you mean, why say that even killing you doesn’t mean we’ll be separated?"

"Because in a sense, if you kill me, then I will always be with you." Nellie pressed her forehead against Pannis’s and whispered, "Have you forgotten what I told you?"

"Ah, you mean that." Pannis immediately lost interest, a bit despondent, "Right, you’ve told me that as a Godslayer, it’s possible to snatch the deity’s Divinity and authority. So, naturally, when I have killed you, I can devour the unclaimed Divinity, take over the deity’s power, and become the new god of death. Is this what you mean by always being with you?"

"Isn’t it?" Nellie tilted her head and asked with a smile, "For over a hundred years, Danacus’s Divinity has been residing within me, it has already become one with my body, easily considered a part of me. Inside, my memories and will remain. When you devour the Divinity and take on the authority, through the Divinity as a medium, everything about me will transfer to you—my spirit, my memories, my longing, my love for you, you can feel it at any moment from deep inside your heart. So you see, killing me doesn’t mean I have left you, I will always be by your side, accompanying you through the endless years to come."

"What’s the use of holding a portrait of you every day? I can feel your longing and your love that way too." Pannis’s mouth twitched, and he said with a blank expression, "This so-called forever together, I don’t want it at all. Will you smile at me then, hug me like you do now, hold my hand when I miss you? I’ve had enough, my dear. I’ve had enough of that feeling and don’t ever want to relive it. I can’t accept killing you while you’re still you."

"Ah, Kyle, what’s the point of childishly refusing now? I know, you’re just being coquettish like I was just now." Nellie said with a shake of her head, as if speaking to a spoiled child, "You know, and I know, we really have no choice now. What else can we do besides killing me? Turn and run? Impossible. You’re aware of your duty, you’re not the kind to irresponsibly flee from responsibility, and you definitely won’t leave me behind, so you wouldn’t do that. So, stay here with me? Apart from watching me walk step by step toward doom in pain, you can’t offer any help, and you can’t even start to share my pain and pressure."

Pannis’s face turned a frightening shade of grim, silent and with head bowed down, his gaze cold and empty, devoid of any emotion, as if he had already died.

"Don’t be like that, dear. Our intentions are clear to each other, so I know that your refusal, your anger, your depression, your irritation, and your brusqueness just now all stem from your love for me and your hatred for yourself. You’re just venting your emotions," Nellie soothed Pannis’s hair, but her words cut like sharp knives into Pannis’s heart, "You not only hate yourself for the past mistakes that led me to this situation but also hate your current self. You know exactly that what I said just now is true, completely undeniable. So, you hate that you can’t help me deal with Danacus; you hate that you can’t bear the pain of fighting for souls by using your own body; you hate that you are too weak to regain control again, once more feeling the helplessness and despair that you experienced when facing Danacus; and you still loathe that you couldn’t fulfill your promise made during our love, to chase away all worries and anxieties for me. I understand it all, but Kyle, you once said the same thing to me, and now I give it back to you: reality is always cruel; miracles never exist. As the strong, we must have the courage to face reality and confront pain and cruelty head-on. We’re human, so we may grieve, be depressed, and be weak at times. But after we’ve cried, after we’ve made a scene, after we’ve vented, we still have to return to our original path and continue to face the cruel reality, to endure the torment of pain. It’s this resolute will that makes us powerful, not our strength, but our hearts. Do you remember those words? Back when we first fell in love, when I received the news of Vaji’s death, that’s what you said to me, and I’ve always held it close to my heart. I think you need it now too."

"Yes, after crying, after making a scene, after venting, we still have to return to our original path," Pannis’s face slowly turned from grim to a faint sadness, and he groaned with a hand on his forehead, "No matter how cruel the reality, it still has to be faced."

"That’s right, dear, avoiding it will never solve the problem. The only way to solve the problem is to face it," Nellie said softly, pressing her face against Pannis’s, "When I was disguised as Danacus, didn’t you say you were ready, that this time you won’t run away anymore, no matter what the outcome might be, you were prepared to accept it calmly? When I heard your declaration, I was truly happy because I knew, after avoiding it for a hundred years, after indulging for a hundred years, you finally found the right path again. You wouldn’t have just said it for the sake of saying it, right?"

"Heh, I understand, I understand it all," Pannis mumbled with a tired smile. Using a gesture that should represent joy, his expression somehow became even more desolate. His voice grew hoarse, as if speaking to Nellie and then to himself, "Separation, reunion, separation, it’s all like a dream, only this dream is too real. Heh, I’ve had countless nightmares over a hundred years, always reuniting in dreams, then separating upon waking. Now it seems, the nightmare will finally end. This must be the last nightmare, right?"