World After Worlds
Chapter 347 - 347: § DREADINESS §

"Do you want to sleep? You can rest on me or should I prepare a mattress for you to lay on?" Matteo uttered in the midst of quietness between them. She turned to him and shook her head as her response.

"I'm not sleepy anymore."

"Are you hungry?" She hummed and gently shook her head again. Matteo shut his lips seeing that she was not in the mood for a conversation. He dropped his eyes and stared at the dandelion in front of them.

He thought that once they were alone here, they could make happy memories like how they used to be. However, the past haunted her once again. Why did she have to mention remembering that time? Ever since their last quarrel, she never said a word regarding her dream. Yet, here they are. The past was mentioned...

Was it because this field was in her dream? When did she tell him she was in love with him? That was a false dream.

Her mood was not lightened and he could perceive the disappointment she had for him. It was dyeing his emotion with an unpleasant sensation. He told her that he would do anything for her but when the request was stated he also said it was not possible. He felt like a joke.

"Rym, are you mad at me?" He murmured because he couldn't take the silence. "Because I can't revive your memories?"

"No." A simple answer with no further explanation.

Matteo redirected his attention to her and moved in her direction. Since she was not making a reaction, he took the chance to slowly invade her space and laid his head on her lap.

She looked down on him and he returned the gaze with a docile temperament. Neither one of them broke their eye contact, with a gentle breeze she would blink her eyes but remained to stare at him.

In the end, it was Matteo who broke free from staring straight into her eyes.

He never liked staring so long into her eyes. It was so clear... the vividness of how she perceived him. He could see how she thought of him even though he could not read her mind.

There was no emotion in those eyes. At first glance, it was as if she was in a trance with passions. Yet the longer he stares, the more apparent to him that she was overlooking him. In those eyes, the reflection of her true emotion was visible…

I don't love this man.

She won't say that in words, but that was what her eyes' reflected on him. He did not want to see it. He did not want to feel unloved by her.

"I heard Azkin was the most pampered sibling of the gods. All of you in heaven dote on her. You must be so angry when you found out what happened to her here." She spoke softly, and Matteo returned his gaze to her. He was surprised that she mentioned Azkin out of context; however, he did not show any expression.

"I was." He answered short. He recalled when he found out what happened to Azkin. He was mad, that was given. But mostly he felt nothing… he was emptied. He was not certain what kind of emotion he held back then. In fact, it was his brothers and father that were the most infuriated when he passed the news. "Why do you ask?"

"Nothing, just curious. Why didn't you kill those who made her suffer? You let them live."

"Father is the one who could make decisions, I'm just the first son." He held her hands and intertwined them with his fingers before placing them against his chest and closing his eyes.

"What if your father did not approve of me becoming your wife?" He opened his eyes and found her staring at him earnestly.

"You are already my wife, how many times do I have to say that?"

"Then, what if your father does not approve of me being your wife? Will you disregard me? Or you will leave me here in Xleyl?" Matteo's jaw clenched when he heard her say that. His eyes sharpened with an indignant emotion covering his entirety.

Disregard her?

Leave her here?

What does she mean by that? Is she saying this to me because that is what she truly wanted to do to me?

She may or may not know how much he loves her, but she could not say careless things like him disregarding her. He could not do that. He could not possibly be able to abandon her. She knew that much.

It was her who could do such things to him. She really has various ways to make him feel helpless.

"Matteo, you might not know this but the feeling you are feeling for me is fleeting. It will fade. You said that you can do anything for me but you can't even revive my memories. You are powerful but you're not that powerful. If your father did not want to recognize me as your wife, I would suffer. You can't protect me. Even if you're the first son you can't disobey your father. Being a human, I'm much weaker."

"How did you manage to swerve the discussion on this frivolous topic? Stop saying nonsense." He warned her. He even glared at her. They were talking about Azkin. What does it have to do with their relationship?

"It's not nonsense, Matteo. I'm stating the possibilities."

"That's enough, Rym. Whatever you are thinking right now. Stop it." He looked at her eyes again. This time the gentleness she feigned when she was looking at him faded.

They were cold and lacked any emotion. Matteo was unable to comprehend.

The kind of expression… that kind of emotion of hers… it was directed to him?

What…

What did he do wrong?

So suddenly? She's mad at me?

His chest heaved. She moved her hands but he did not let her go and tightened his grasp on him.

I'm sorry.

His voice could not escape from his mouth. He did not know why so abruptly did it turn to this but the strong inclination to be asking for her forgiveness struck him.

"Let me go."

She pulled her hands again and he unconsciously exerted force on his grasp.

His mind blanked out.

Never let go, she will disappear.

Within seconds, Matteo rose from laying on her thighs. He let go of her hands and placed one of them on the back of her head and another on the ground to support him from rising. He covered her lips with his.

He gasped for cold air and the dreadiness he felt did not relinquish. His heartbeat restlessly and the tension on his body was visible. He parted his lips and devoured her mouth, pushed her to lie down, and become suppressed beneath him.

When her body was completely subdued, he used his palm to cover her eyes and stopped kissing her. "Why would you say that?" He was trembling. He was very terrified. It did not matter what reason he might be reacting like this, all he knew was he was too scared for what was next.

"Why would I let you go?" He muttered and breathed heavily. Involuntarily, remembering the cold eyes she shone at him. Unconsciously making him press his palm on her eyes.

He wanted to gouge her eyes out. So, she could never stare at him like that.

"Matteo—"

"I can't return what I destroyed, Yanarym! I can't give your memories back to you! I told you, they will hurt you! It will make you cry!" He gasped, his eyes frantically looking everywhere. "I don't want to see you cry but I can't handle your anger as well." He stammered. "Aren't you pretending to be in love with me?! Why suddenly you… you…" His eyes felt hot, his heart was still beating restlessly. His body was shaking and he was very overwhelmed by her. "Don't look at me like that! Don't talk to me like that! Stop thinking like that. Don't… don't abandon me." He embraced her body and hid his face on her shoulders.

He felt she stiffened. "Teo?" She called him with a coaxing voice and her arms that were trapped in his embrace tried to escape but he only tightened his hug. "Are you crying?" She sounded surprised.

She was the culprit but she behaved as if she was innocent.

"I don't know…" his voice cracked. "I don't know, Yanarym… Rym, I don't know." Matteo's mind was already muddled. He lost his reasoning the moment those cold, apathetic eyes were directed at him. He was so vulnerable right now.

Why can't he attain to witness the moment she would fade away? Why can't he handle his emotions when he is with her? Were the bad things he did before returning to him? So, is this how it felt to be so in love but you are not in love back?

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Don't leave me, Rym."