The Kingmaker System
Chapter 321 - 320. See Yourself (1)

Chapter 321: 320. See Yourself (1)

Silas told me to go see Grandfather after he was done and I silently left because I had nothing to say.

I knew this very well, that all kinds of weapons were useless before words when it came to attacks. A single word could bring a person’s world shattering down. The way my delusion of being omnipotent was coming down.

Instead of going straight to Fairisles mansion, I returned to the Ryujin mansion. I was feeling kind of mentally exhausted and I slumped over my chair in the office.

"How did it go?" Roan asked.

I sighed, "I got... chewed out."

Roan chuckled, "Someone is strong enough to do that?"

"Only the few who hold authority over me."

"I thought Dragons were above everyone," he said as he kept working.

"I thought so too," I said, "But I forgot that I’m not a biologically born Dragon."

"What do you mean?"

"You know who I am, right?" I asked and he peeked a glance at me.

"... Yes,"

"Ocean Ryujin is the man who has done a lot for people, saved lives, created a town, is messing with the evil Golden Serpent... But he’s a lie... A big, fat lie."

Roan stood up and walked up to me, "It seems like your Uncle chewed you out quite brutally."

"You don’t say." I said as he stood near my desk facing me.

"Are you all right?" He asked leaning his hip against my desk as he watched me.

"I don’t know," I said honestly, "I have to see Grandfather as well..."

"Was he mad at you? Archmage, I mean." Roan asked.

"He was... disappointed, I guess."

"Disappointed?" He cocked a brow.

"Because I’ve been running around thinking I’m all to powerful and that I could handle everything on my own." I said.

"And that everyone else is far too weak and they would die if you think the fight is too much for them?" He prompted and I looked at him.

"Did you follow me secretly?" I asked and he chuckled.

"Well, I guess there is someone who could show you what you’ve been missing." He said and I frowned.

"Is it wrong to want everyone safe?" I asked.

"Well, is it right to sacrifice your life then?" He asked and I tilted my head giving him a look and he sighed.

"Look, it’s not wrong, but don’t you think we are also strong enough? I mean, we’re not like that fragile egg at your breast." He gestured at my coat and I cocked a brow.

"What? It’s obvious you have something there." He said with a shrug, "But the point is, we are strong to fend for ourselves, Master."

I sighed, "I know you are, that’s why I give everyone proper assignments and only step in when I know things aren’t of your control."

"I know but you still need to realise that even you make mistakes." He reminded.

"Yes, I know."

"Then, you must also realise that it’s all right to not thinking about sacrificing yourself, considering that you have all of us." He said and I hummed.

"I know... that’s why I didn’t actually plan on dying." I admitted and he shook his head.

"Nobody plans on dying like that, Master. Death..." He pursed his lips as if trying to pick a perfect words.

"Death is... an inevitable surprise... Emphasis on surprise." He said and I hummed.

I knew about it more than anyone else here, I had died once and I knew how unexpectedly it comes. If that once wasn’t enough, I had almost come across death multiple times here as well.

"Don’t invite it, Master. We all need you." He said and I exhaled deeply before I stood up.

He stepped back as if expecting to attack or something and I gave him a small smile.

"Thanks, Roan. I knew I chose a right person as a friend."

He relaxed and then grinned before sweeping a bow, "Glad to always help you see the big picture."

I chuckled at that and then plucked out the teleportation device.

"Where are you going now?" He asked.

"There’s one more person who is left to scold me," I said and he chuckled.

Before I teleported to Grandfather’s mansion. He was shocked to see me teleport right into his office out of nowhere. Even his aide almost fell of his chair when I popped up.

"Lord Ocean?" Grandfather frowned a bit and then asked his aide to leave us alone.

"What brings you here like this? Is there something wrong? Do you need help regarding something?" He asked.

I licked my lips and then removed my earstud reverting to my Reina’s form. Grandfather stood up from his chair and walked past his desk towards me as I stood there.

"I came to apologise." I said and he looked at me quizzically.

"Why?"

"I... I didn’t mean to make Uncle Silas or you feel so left out..." I said, "I... I understand I am strong but I also know that I have limitations... And that, I’m not always right about things... I wanted to apologise for making you think that your feelings for me don’t matter."

Grandfather observed me for a while before he released a deep breath and then walked over to the couch in his office. He sat down and gestured for me to take a seat across him.

I sat down and he watched me quietly for a long moment.

"I... I would prefer if you scold me or... lash out or... just something." I said.

Grandfather released another deep breath before he started, "I felt disappointed that my son left this place to join the Mage’s Tower... I was enraged when, Serene married you father... But... I never felt a bit worried about any of them... Because I knew they were strong enough to do well for themselves. And I knew I was strong enough to keep this place standing one my own..."

"Silas proved himself and became an Archmage... Your mother... was happy to be married to your father... I’d never visited you after you were born... I grieved Serene’s death. Maybe it was her death that... made me feel as if I... wasn’t as strong as I thought I was." He admitted.

"Grand Duke Alarice... was there when I was at my breaking point, he saved me from spiraling into the depths of despair. That’s why... I owed him. I might not have been here if not for his support."

I listened quietly, it was rather shocking to hear that. The time when Grand Duke Alarice and Grand Duchess Dahlia went missing, Grandfather had persistently insisted that I help Davian. He had told me it was because Grand Duke had saved his life once. I had no idea that it was something like this.

"That point in trying to make is," Grandfather said, "I know how being strong and being alone feels... You see the dangers differently, you measure the risks you have to take, and also if you could let others handle it or not. But... what we fail to measure is not others’ strength, Reina. It’s us."

I saw as his eyes glistened with unshed, frozen tears, "We forget that we might overestimate ourselves and think that we could somehow succeed in taking the risk, thinking that we will get out of it because we’re strong... But when that delusion shatters... We get to see that we’re, in reality, quite weaker than we presumed. We... hide our vulnerable self and show the world our armor to make sure nobody tries to harm us... But behind that armor... How long can we last?"

"I saw myself in you, Reina... The moment I realised that you aren’t like normal children... I was proud of you, I wanted to know more about you, I wanted you to know more about this world. But I failed to realise that, just like myself you are also trying to make a strong armor and ignoring your vulnerability behind it."

He inhaled deeply before he leaned ahead a bit, "I stopped Silas that day because I knew it would have no effect of whatever he says... You were probably just expecting him to shout at you for being reckless and then get it done with... But you had to see it for real... That’s why, I couldn’t let him waste his words."

He stood up and walked over to me, he sat down beside me and placed his large hand over mine.

"You may have created an adult version of yourself who fights the world, Reina. But you’re still our little girl whom we all yearn to protect. We waited for you to rely on us and we’re happy when you do. It’s just... I don’t want to see you dying in a way without having to see yourself."

His eyes looked so expressive that I almost forgot that he was the Marquis Desmond Fairisles whose one cold glare could freeze the hell over.

"I want you to see yourself, Reina. You are a child, genius, unmistakenly but, a child regardless. And you have adults here who are willing to protect you and stand by your side. You just need to ask."

I looked down at his hand, and placed my other hand over his. Words eluded me but I guess my gesture was enough as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me into his large chest.

"We’re always here for you, Reina. So, don’t throw away your precious life that we all cherish."

I won’t.