Tangled Hearts - The Alpha's Baby Mama
Chapter 143: I made a mistake… I thought I liked Noah…

Chapter 143: I made a mistake... I thought I liked Noah...

Selene POV

[Warning: Chapter contains descriptions of non-consensual sexual activity]

[Present]

"Selene..." Xavier was shaking my hand when I came back from my reverie. He had a worried expression as his face loomed over me. "Are you alright? You spaced out for nearly five minutes. Does the question bring back sad memories? Do you want to talk about it?"

I felt my throat tighten. Even though a few years have passed since the plane crash, I’ve never spoken about it, not to anyone. Even though Kragen didn’t ask me to keep our pact a secret, I couldn’t bring myself to bare out the truth, at least not now. Although I had a well-thought-out story regarding how I survived the crash, I still couldn’t say it out loud because this was the first time someone was asking me about it.

"I’m sorry, Xavier," I gave him an apologetic smile "I...I don’t want to talk about it," I said averting my eyes "Maybe another time but right now, it’s not something, I’m ready to share,".

He nodded. He seemed to have sensed my discomfort and didn’t press further. We continued sitting side by side as time passed until the sun began to set.

"We should go back now!" Xavier broke the silence, his eyes still on the setting sun.

"Yeah!" I nodded, my eyes still fixed on the setting sun "Tell me, Xavier, if I had stayed and told you about the baby... would you have let me keep it? Would you have loved me more? I know back then; the curse was more potent than it is now but do you think you would have tried to break out from the shackles and be a husband and a father at that moment?"

He lowered his head and didn’t say anything. For a moment, I thought he wasn’t going to reply but when he raised his head and his gaze met mine, there was pain and regret in his eyes as he slowly shook his head "I don’t think anything would have changed, Selene. I would have been the same mean person I was to you back then. Maybe I would have asked you to remove the babies or something..." he exhaled "Somehow, I’m glad everything played out this way and now I have to fight for your love and prove that I am a worthy mate,".

"I’m married, Xavier," I chuckled patting his head "There’s nothing you can do except you plan to kill your uncle which I know you wouldn’t but I told you, I am determined to stay married to Noah,".

"Eventually, the cracks in the marriage will widen and it’ll fall apart. I’ll be here waiting for you, Selene. I know how things like this work," he gave me an easy smile to which I responded.

We started the trek down the hill and towards the pack house, upon arriving, a maid approached me and informed me that Noah had been looking for me. From the fear in her eyes, I know he must have been looking frantically for me and had asked all the servants to also join in the search.

"Okay, thank you for telling me," I told her and then turned to Xavier "I have to go now, apparently Noah has been looking all over the place for me. I best be on my way before he turns the whole pack house upside down," I smiled.

"Seems he might not be in the right state of mind. Should I accompany you?" he asked gazing at me anxiously. Lycans go berserk whenever their mental health is unstable and I know Xavier might have experienced it first-hand since his mom is a Lycan but his presence could make things worse.

"No dear," I rubbed his arm comfortingly "It’s alright, Noah wouldn’t harm me no matter how angry or crazy he is. Just be with the girls, I’ll join you all soon. Ask the kitchen to make me my favourite too, I’m starving and I’ll only be a few minutes before I come to join you all, okay?"

"Okay!" he nodded "Be safe,"

I watched as he headed down the corridor, his tall figure making him look like a giant as he passed by the servants. Satisfied that he wouldn’t sneak up behind me to go to Noah’s room, I steeled myself and started towards Noah’s room. When I got to his door, I took a deep breath before I knocked lightly and opened the door to let myself in. The room was dark, and the curtains were drawn.

"Noah!" I called out looking into the pitch blackness hoping I could pick up something but after standing for a few minutes and no response, I moved to the wall on my right where the light switches were and started feeling along the wall, just as I touched it, a powerful hand seized my wrist and in one second, slammed my back against the wall. Noah’s scent wafted up my nostrils making me gasp as his body pressed flush against mine pinning me in place.

"No..." the words barely left my mouth when his lips crashed against my neck in a flurry of fevered kisses and nips. His tongue left a wet trail down the base of my neck before his mouth seized my lips. My nostrils picked up the stench of alcohol oozing from his body as his hands roamed all over me greedily. Noah has been drinking.

"Noah stop!" I managed between gritted teeth "Let me go this instance!"

But his grip on my body tightened. I could feel his manliness hot against my thighs. What was scarier than an angry Lycan was a drunk, horny, Lycan. I could feel a peppery sensation on my back from new bruises as his hands continued their frenzy exploration. I heard my dress make a ripping noise and pool at my feet. He reached for the underwear I had on and with a flick of his wrist, it joined the pile on my feet.

A part of me knew that I should fight back at his point. We were in the middle of fixing our ailing marriage, plus he was recently with another woman and the thought of me being with him now made me feel unclean. But I could also sense the pure, unrestrained strength coursing through his muscles. If I try to resist now, it will only make him more violent.

If he wanted to fuck... I’ll let him.

Battling the revulsion, I felt his lips circle my nipples, I forced myself to go limp and unresponsive as he hurled me against the bed and followed after me in his drunken haze.

"Selene..." he groaned as he positioned himself between my legs and without any preamble drove hilt in into me. "goddess! I love you Selene" he said in between clenched teeth, I fucking love you,".

I bit back the painful groan that escaped my lips as my eyes watered. He continued thrusting into me with reckless abandon.

~~~

A while later, I pushed myself to the edge of the bed and rose to my feet. Trying to be as discreet as possible, I crossed the room to where the light switch was located and turned it on. Since my clothes were in shreds, I padded barefoot to his closet and selected one of his Tees and shorts which I slipped on. Coming back to the bedroom, I bent down to pick up my clothes when a muffled groan coming from the bedside made me freeze.

I turned to see Noah rousing. Our gazes met and comprehension and horror dawned across his features. Bolting into a sitting position, "What happened?"

I straightened with a scoff on my lips as I turned to face him "As if you didn’t know. It’s late already. I promised to eat dinner with the girls but turns out you had another plan. They’ll be so mad, Noah. So, I need to go now,".

Without waiting for him to say anything else, I turned and started heading towards the door when Noah’s voice reached me. "Selene..." He rasped out, raising an entreating hand. "I...please, I’m so sorry. Don’t go, don’t leave me..." he implored.

But I felt something within me wither and grow cold. I secured the last button on the T-shirt I had on before turning to him "I told you, Noah, that I was willing to fight for our marriage," I said, keeping my voice toneless and empty. "So, why did you feel the need to do...this?"

"I’m sorry, Selene..." he ran a hand through his head. He was sitting at the edge of the bed "I was sad, frustrated and I wanted you to be near only. I didn’t know I went overboard and of course, I take responsibility for my actions. I’m truly sorry, I mean it,".

"It’s too late!" I told him reaching for the doorknob "Just text me when it’s time to see the therapist, later, Noah!" I gave him one last smile and slipped out of his room.

I walked swiftly down the corridor, needing to put as much distance between us as possible.

I made a mistake... I thought I liked Noah... the feelings I had the other day at the safe house... I had imagined that it was love for Noah but now?

I was certain there wasn’t anything left to love anymore.