SILVER-HEART
Chapter 46: Feeling Rejected

Chapter 46: Feeling Rejected

My eyes remained glued on the bed frame ceiling, thoughts and images overriding my mind, so clangorous and sleep was so far from my eyes, they were as wide as daylight, maybe from surprise... or pure disappointment.

’I cannot give you a kiss on the lips just yet... For when I taste those lips it will be my undoing’

His words kept playing in my head like a melody. What exactly does he mean by that? One minute he was willing to show me what a kiss is but he denied. Doesn’t he want to kiss me? Is that it? In all my life I never thought I would feel utter disappointment until now... because of a kiss.

I sighed heavily turning to my side, I don’t think I will have a shut-eye, my mind kept exploring different reasons why he didn’t kiss me. My features turned sad... maybe he doesn’t want to and just said those words to avoid it, maybe he doesn’t feel the need to kiss me. That thought alone was enough to bring a spear to my heart. I mentally scolded myself for making my body feel worse than I have ever had. But what else could I think?

I buried my face in my pillow, the worst feeling I cannot fathom engulfing me, it was pure sadness and I have no idea how to overcome it. It was torture on a different scale, maybe way worse.

☆☆☆

I went on my tip toe placing a book I have just finished reading back to the exact spot I took it from, my finger searching for the next one that was when I heard a footstep, just when I grabbed a book I turned to the sound and my time paused when I set my eyes on green ones.

William, standing as majestic and sinfully beautiful, appeared to be keeping books in order today, there was a height of floating books behind him and a floating scroll and quill, but the book I spotted looked quite different from the ones I always see, they were darker and had a gloomy feeling to it, it even had a strange aura too, I wonder what those books could possibly be but I was overly distracted by staring at William’s handsome feature.

It’s official... there was no way I would get used to seeing his face every day, it felt like the first time all over again. I gulped, knowing I should say something for I knew it was rude to stare long... but whenever it comes to William I cannot control it. All my life back at the orphanage I have always been taught to cast my eyes down for they hated it when I looked at them and feared I would curse them when I made eye contact.

But that part of me seems to be changing ever since I came here, maybe because I wasn’t seen as a curse here but as an actual person.

"G-Good morning master," I said, holding my book close to my chest.

"Morning Ava" he ran a hand to his hair and I gulped watching as his silver hair pushed to one side. It was hot and my breath was picking up. How can one be so beautiful without even trying? The way his strong gaze pinned me down, it was just too powerful.

I bit my bottom lip, his voice... Dear gods! It was suddenly awkward now because the air was tight. Yesterday after what happened, William dismissed me and I was hurt by that, I was still hurt and maybe slightly angry, because of the fact he won’t kiss me. Call me silly.

His beautiful face won’t convince me otherwise.

"E-Excuse me!" I said quickly walking away or maybe I was running, how extremely stupid of me but I couldn’t bear it any longer.

I stopped when I made sure I was a far distance away from William trying to catch my breath, that was overly awkward, and thinking about that made me feel that the ground should just swallow me whole right now.

I turned hoping to see William, there was one part of me that actually wanted William to come after me... how ridiculous of me to think of such... I must be daydreaming, what happened yesterday was just a lesson and an experiment he called it. It was just to settle my curiosity.

I remember vividly well what the book says, both partners must want it and it was not meant to be one-sided. Maybe it was one-sided between us. William wanted only to satisfy my curiosity but couldn’t go with it because he does not want it.

I felt more heartbreaking than yesterday and it suddenly became mentally draining for me. If only I didn’t bring that book to his table in an attempt to gain his attention then maybe I wouldn’t have felt like this... I feel like my heart is being tightened, I should feel nothing because it was nothing but curiosity on my side then why? Why does it hurt so bad? I feel like I have been rejected without knowing why.

"Young miss?"

I turned. "Severus," I said with wide eyes, I didn’t hear anyone coming in.

"Are you alright?"

"Y-Yes I’m fine just..." I sighed heavily, giving up trying to mask it. "The truth is I’m not sure I’m in the mood for books"

"Hmm," he made a sound like he was thinking. "Then maybe you should join us for brunch"

"Brunch?"

"Yes it’s almost 12 noon you see"

"Oh"

"Maybe that will give you some air because you look like you would pass out any minute, did you and the master have a disagreement?"

I blushed. "N-N-No!"

He barked a laugh.

"It’s not funny!"

"Forgive me young miss, but you were so cute saying that"

I blushed.

"Well, whatever it is..." he said with a smile on his lips and tilted his head to the side. "The Master might be distant sometimes..." He cast his eyes down. "I was even shocked when I saw him this morning without his mask, but I was relieved too"

"Relieved?"

He raised his gaze. "That the wind CAN make the silver flower move after all and maybe more. I’m glad you’re by my master’s side Young Miss"

I stared at him puzzled but in order not to seem too confused I offered a smile. "I would love to have brunch with you guys"

"Perfect" he grinned.