SILVER-HEART
Chapter 121: Crazy

Chapter 121: Crazy

I slowly walked to the mirror, my feet dragging against the floor until I got to it. Seeing my features right now did not surprise me, I cried myself to sleep like a mad woman and I was surprised I didn’t bring the whole castle down with my screams.

My hair was wild and my eyes had dark circles down and my eyes red from all the crying. I sniffed using the back of my hand to wipe my nose, suddenly feeling lightheaded too. The skies were bright and I knew it was certainly not morning, maybe midday now.

The sudden doors barging open caused me to be on alert and I twirled and found William striding towards me with a look I cannot explain but it caused my heart to beat faster than I hoped it to.

He looked paled

He looked lost

"Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?" he began with a tone that was both mixed with coldness and pain enough to send a chill down my spine. His eyes raked my entire body.

"I heard your screams" he added with clenched teeth, and the room temperature dropped. "I heard your cries" he took a step towards me and I took a step back.

"I felt your pain..." he was coming and I went back as I could but my lower back found the dresser and I gripped it for support because it felt like I would drop.

"I still feel your pain..." he closed the distance and placed his hand on the dresser leaning to me, I could hear his grip, on the verge of snapping it into two.

"And you expect me to leave you alone?" he asked like I was crazy like HE was crazy to even do that. "Do you think so low of me?"

"I asked to be left alone"

"Why?" he seethed out and I noticed a black vein wrestling under his eyes. His orbs stormed both anger and pain, and I mirrored his expression too.

But yet I remained silent, almost like the cat got my tongue.

"You won’t even speak to me?" It was more of a pain now.

Even if I say... does it change anything?

No! I cannot say, not until I figure out the truth myself.

"Please" was what came off. "I want to be alone" I looked to the side not sparing him a glance, I could tell his looks burned into me and he didn’t seem like he would leave.

"I-I need to bathe, I’m filthy"

"Then we bath"

I snapped my stern gaze to him. "Alone" I clarified and then I shook my head. "Don’t force me" I added with a look of pain in my eyes and his shoulders fell.

I took that as a cue to leave, pushing past him as I walked away.

☆☆☆

I helped myself to my gown, not needing Elvenia’s help, just right after I was done I walked to the library.

What do I search for?

That particular book, the Isle of Pathways, and to my luck I found it, it was still on William’s desk. The moment I took it I walked away to that particular spot I used as an alone time to myself. I sat on the floor closing my legs as I opened the book, pulling the strand of my hair that got in my view behind my ear. I didn’t know how to plait it so I let it fall out, I do not mind looking crazy.

I’m already crazy

I flipped through the pages in a hurry to find something, anything!

And then I got to a particular content, it spoke more of how sacred the place was, having the ability to reveal. ’A Way of Revelation’

I leaned my back against the shelf, it all spelled the same thing... What I dreamed about wasn’t just a dream but a truth.

It was real

It wasn’t false

I still needed to confirm that is why I came back to the book and all I have read has stated what the Isle of Pathways meant. I have reached where the path leads and it led me to the Thornwell Orphanage, it led me to the truth.

"My lady?"

I jolted, turning to Severus who stared down at me with worried eyes, he was about to speak but I was fast.

"How well do you trust William?"

He was taken aback by my question, almost like he didn’t expect. "Well my lady that is quite blunt and-"

"Do you?" I urged with firm words.

"Of course my lady with my life, where is this coming from?"

I sat up abruptly. "Would you trust him to tell the truth?"

"My lady," he said with stunned eyes. "Do you not trust the master?" he said it like he couldn’t believe himself asking such a thing.

"You always said William does things for a reason"

"Yes!"

"Even if it means he has to abandon you to a fate worse and cruel than death, for years and years thinking you never matter and blaming the gods for the life bestowed on you" I speak so quickly just as the tears gushed from my eyes.

Severus’s mouth hung, he wanted to say something but he could not, I have taken him by surprise again.

I pushed the book I held to him and he gripped it with two hands. "Books will not give me answers, I will ask him, whatever he says I will take it," I said, turning on my heels and marching to his office.

It comes down to asking him myself, maybe I was scared all along, I knew that was the only solution to my answers, I was scared of asking him, and hearing it from him because it only makes it real.

It will only shatter my heart more

Even as I marched to his office, I was dubious, and scared, as my shaky legs climbed the stairs, as I stood at the foot of the table, but he wasn’t seated there, rather he stood at the window, so I rounded the table and walked to him.

"Tell me the truth" I began as bluntly as I could, fighting back the tears on the verge of spilling from me. He turned to me and the rest of the words flowed out of me.

"Why did you abandon me?"