Reborn as a Mind-Reading Empress
Chapter 451: She Wasn’t His First Love

Chapter 451: She Wasn’t His First Love

Arabella realized that her husband had lived much even longer than she thought.

There were so many ladies he encountered to the extent that she concluded there was no point in getting jealous or insecure since she would only end up making herself crazy.

What was important was Ferdinand’s love and attention was only on her now.

She had already told herself that in the past since she already had a feeling back then that contrary to Raymond and Alwin’s belief that this was the first time Ferdinand fell in love, she had a feeling it wasn’t.

Arabella reminded herself once again that the present and the future were what matters as a lot of pretty ladies she did not know about crossed Ferdinand’s mind as he pondered if he had fallen in love before.

Some he could not recall clearly, some he does. And he finally understood that there were those who fell for him, but he did not notice back then.

Arabella smiled as Ferdinand finally realized, most of the reincarnations that Arabella had dreamed about, had feelings for him and tried to hint at him but he was completely clueless.

That there were times they even confessed but he did not understand they were confessing and brushed off their statements or replied in a way that he did not know was interpreted as rejection. Some were even quite harsh rejection.

And that in those times, there were times Ferdinand did not understand even his own emotions and he was only able to understand those feelings now because he was admittedly in love.

. . .

. .

.

After a long while of pondering...

"Argh! I’m such an idiot!" were the words Ferdinand said first.

"Why are you insulting yourself again?" Arabella frowned.

She didn’t like him degrading himself. If there was anyone out there to call him an idiot, she wanted it to be only her. And she would never say it with as much such bite as he does.

[Is it really alright to tell her?] Ferdinand hesitated. [Would she not feel bad?]

"It’s alright. I won’t get angry or anything," Arabella encouraged, and he pouted instead.

[Again. Now that she said that I hope she would get angry and be jealous a little bit.]

Ferdinand kissed her before saying his reply.

"I think, I fell in love with you several times back then. But I was such an idiot that I didn’t realize."

This time, Ferdinand realized it himself. He already fell in love several times before.

Arabella was not his first love. It was a reincarnation long before her.

He had fallen in love with some of the reincarnations before her (and with other ladies as well), but he simply did not realize it was love. Especially since the times he encountered her were mostly when he was quite young.

He had not raised the second generation of ice dragons back then yet, so he did not know the joy of raising children yet, nor the feeling of having a constant companion by his side that he could live and converse with for thousands and thousands of years.

"Then, when do you think was your first love?" Arabella asked and Ferdinand stared at her.

[She’s not bothered by it. Is it because they were also her in the past life?]

"I think it was your 15th reincarnation. I felt too guilty about Eleanor’s death, so for a while, I was truly just keen on watching over the following people I encountered, that had the same presence as hers. But in the 15th reincarnation, I unknowingly fell in love," Ferdinand honestly admitted.

Yet, he had also rejected that reincarnation back then since he did not know nor notice his feelings for her was love.

"If you had known you love her back then, would you have married her?" Arabella inquired and Ferdinand froze.

"I don’t know. I’m not sure that would have worked."

Ferdinand explained that he and the other primordial dragons were quite emotionless for a long while.

It took some time for them to begin having emotions. And romantic love was certainly something that was difficult for them to understand.

Wanting to protect and cherish someone and watch them achieve happiness was alright. They learned that through their experiences. But they did not know it was love.

"However, desiring and lusting for someone was another matter. Even if I married you back then, it wouldn’t have succeeded since you would have wanted to have children."

’Eh? Having children was an issue to him back then?’

"Why? Because you were not sure yet whether you wanted children or not?" Arabella tilted her head.

"That’s certainly one reason. But if I realized I loved you back then, maybe I would have wanted to have children too."

’It wasn’t me. Just someone who had the soul I have now, she wanted to say.’

"Then, what are the other reasons?" she asked instead.

"Uhm, nothing," Ferdinand looked away with an embarrassed look.

Arabella cupped his face and made him look in her direction so he wouldn’t look the other way.

"Ferdinand, what is it?" she asked sweetly and he gulped.

"It’s nothing important," he said and freed himself. "I have things to do. I’ll be going now. See you at dinner."

’Eh? Why is he running away?’

"Ferdinand," Arabella said in a cute complaining tone negging for attention. He glanced at her and gulped but continued walking to his study.

[How could I tell her I wasn’t geared for reproduction back then?] Ferdinand thought when he was outside the door and Arabella gasped. She was wide-eyed when a thought crossed her mind.

Ferdinand flinched when he realized she still heard his thoughts.

"You didn’t have a d-di-" Arabella glanced down at his crotch.

Ferdinand was back at her side the next second and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"That wasn’t it. Of course, I have it! I wasn’t incapable or anything!" Ferdinand desperately tried to correct her misunderstanding.

"Then, what is it?" Arabella searched her face and wanted to laugh at the look on his face. She did her best to look the same as usual since Ferdinand might feel insulted.

What was he so embarrassed about that he was desperate to cover it up anyway?