Jock Next Bed (BL)
Chapter 37: Mental tug of war

Chapter 37: Mental tug of war

"I was lost the other night." He spoke quietly.

Rachel was in the middle of scooping more ice cream into the tiny spoon when Chris spoke in a serious tone, so she dropped the cup and looked at him with attention.

"Everyone of you seemed to know what you wanted to become after graduation. Sky and his sister already have something going for them. Noel wants to be a Coach here; Henry, a dancer; and you are just in your second year of college but have already planned to further your studies until you are qualified to become a professor. But me... I’m just... me." He looked sullen.

"Are you kidding me?" Rachel asked in surprise. "You are Christopher Owen—"

"I don’t want to be just Christopher Owen." He cut her off. He already knew he was Christopher Owen from the moment he was born. He wanted to know something else that he didn’t know.

"I want to know what more I can do without my family’s support. I want to know if I have passion for anything else other than being a rich boy. I want to have goals just like everyone else."

"Should I tell you what else you can do without your family’s support?" She said just as she reached for his hand on the table and placed hers over his.

"...Is getting a scholarship to this place. You, Chris, did it on your own, and you got in." She looked at him with pride. One that reminded him so much of his mother. Maybe it was why he was kind of attached to her. Because she reminded him of his mother.

"A few years ago, I bet you wouldn’t have imagined your life like this. Doing your thing, living like everyone else, and dressing like... like that." She said the last part with an amused laugh.

"But here you are. You are doing your thing. Without anyone. Without your parents. And they are proud of you. And you should be proud of yourself."

Damn! She was good at this.

Why was her speech making him feel emotional?

"So do not try to rush it." She squeezed his hand and gave him a warm smile.

"You are going to figure it out. Whether it is studying hard to support your parents’ businesses or finding your own path, you have the time."

Did he?

"Besides, we are all your seniors. There is usually this pressure before your second year to decide on a career path, so I’m sure not many people also knew until recently. And I can assure you that more than half of the students here who aren’t even freshmen have no idea what they would like to do after graduation. So relax."

He was actually beginning to relax. Her words had a lot of effect on him, much more than she could imagine. When she pulled her hand away from him, it felt cold. No one had ever made him feel so not useless.

"Some people are just born lucky to know what their dreams and aspirations are. Just like you were lucky to be born into your family." She concluded with a smile and clicked her cup of ice cream with the one that was on the table before she continued scooping and enjoying it.

"I’m beginning to really like you a lot." He said to her in a serious tone.

She laughed as she said, "Sorry, but I already like someone else."

"Noel?" He taunted.

"Are you messing with me?"

"You know he is interested in you, right?" He asked her on a serious note.

"I guess it’s obvious." She shrugged once again.

"It must have been obvious to him how interested you were in Sky, but it seems he doesn’t care." He pointed out.

"Because that’s just how he is. I cannot count the number of women I have seen Noel with since I started studying here..."

"He’s a good-looking dude. Wouldn’t blame him."

"So all good-looking dudes should sleep around?" She asked, crossing her arms to look at him sternly.

"Okay, now you are being judgy. First of all, I didn’t say that. Secondly, he may not even have been doing that with the girls."

"I do not want someone who is going to remind me of my father. And he looks like he’ll remind me of him every second."

"So... Sky is perfect for you?"

He really didn’t want to talk about Sky right now.

"Sky is responsible. You don’t see him with different girls, despite how everyone loves him. And he is nice to everyone."

Chris doubted that. Sky had a nice personality, but he wasn’t exactly nice to everybody. Sometimes he sounded nice, but if you looked closely, he was respectfully telling you to fuck off. His eyes also said a lot more than his lips did. Maybe it was because Chris had been paying close attention to him that he easily noticed this despite knowing him for only a short time.

However, he didn’t want to burst her bubble, so he simply let her ramble on and on until they got to the school environment about why Sky Sato was better than every other guy on the planet.

And even though he was fed up, he was kind of curious and didn’t just outright tell her to shut up about him. He listened.

And the more he listened to her talk about Sky, the more he felt bad about what had happened this morning.

He was going to leave the dorm instead. He was not going to let Sky do that.

Previously, Chris had made up his mind to free his thoughts from thinking inappropriately about Sky. He had also reminded himself that he wasn’t the one who chased people; rather, they chased after him. He had also hoped that by giving Rain his attention, he would feel a whole lot better and stop thinking about her brother.

But when he got to the floor where the court was located, he hesitated. His eyes continued to look down the hallway, past the indoor court. He knew that if he continued to walk down that hallway, he was going to get to the school gym.

Once again, the pair of siblings were messing with his head.

But whether he liked it or not, Sky’s pull was stronger because he walked past the court with a defeated sigh.