I Only Want to Lie Flat But Am Forced to Cultivate Immortality
Chapter 286 - 160: Going Big!

Chapter 286: Chapter 160: Going Big!

The hall would disperse without incense, Gu Zi Xu managed the hall for years, painstakingly accumulating followers, only to lose it all due to the relief grain incident.

To say there’s no resentment in its heart is impossible. Since you accused me of stealing state grain, if I don’t steal, wouldn’t I be bearing this accusation for nothing?

So, not only will I steal, but I’ll do something big!

Gu Zi Xu spent nearly a year, stubbornly digging a rat dwelling beneath the solid foundation of the grain storage warehouse, and constructed an underground granary behind it.

Xu Qing listened and couldn’t help but click his tongue.

This rat has a small mind, but what it’s doing is quite big.

But it still thought too simply; this granary was monitored by the Celestial Master’s Mansion. Gu Zi Xu had just begun stealing grain. If it were a month or two, not only if a half of the grain went missing, even if only a tenth did, the grain official would invite experts from the Celestial Master’s Mansion to intervene.

When the time comes, they’ll dig up your rat dwelling bottom-up, fearing they won’t retrieve the stolen grain from you?

Gu Zi Xu’s whiskers trembled: "Dig three feet deep? Constructing this warehouse was time-consuming and labor-intensive. I’m just stealing some grain. Could they dismantle the whole warehouse?"

Xu Qing looked at this simple-minded and fallen immortal, sneering: "Managing rat infestations, constructing warehouses, this might not be a bad thing for the officials. Dismantling and rebuilding would bring in a big sum of money; certain people might even wish for you to cause bigger disturbances, so whether new accounts, old accounts, or fabricated accounts, they can all be blamed on you!"

"..."

Cold sweat appeared on Gu Zi Xu’s forehead, realizing the future days were going to be unbearable!

Even with the small altar set by the official inviting the Cat Immortal Hall, he couldn’t handle it. If a great ritual called the experts from the Celestial Master’s Mansion to his lair, his whole family would be doomed.

"Daoist Xu, you see our familial bond..."

"Don’t try to cozy up, I’m not familiar with you."

The Cat Immortal Hall and Gray Immortal Hall becoming relatives? Never heard of it!

Gu Zi Xu forced a smile, secretly gesturing to his daughter hidden in his sleeve.

The bride with a red veil dressed in white shyly lifted a corner of the veil, glancing at Xu Qing flirtatiously.

The sight of the mouse maiden, her face like creamy lard, her little red lips glowing like creamy jade, seemed she stepped out of a painting.

Mouse maiden gracefully approached Xu Qing, lowered herself in greeting, her voice thin and hesitant, seemingly a bit afraid of the cat in front of Xu Qing.

"I am Gu Qiao’Er, greeting the husband."

Xuan Yu felt a chill down his spine, his fur instantly bristling like needles.

Xu Qing reached out to comfort the spirit cat before him; with Qi Observation Skill, the beautiful Gu Qiao’Er appeared to him as nothing more than a big white rat.

"Daoist Xu, mice can gather grain, also generate wealth. My daughter may not be exceptionally beautiful, but she’s best at bringing fortune; if she marries a farmer, it ensures bountiful harvests and no worry of food or clothing; if she marries a merchant, it ensures thriving business, never lacking wealth..."

Xu Qing initially wasn’t interested in the notion of mice marrying off daughters, but hearing Gu Zi Xu’s words triggered some mechanism within him, he subconsciously asked: "So if it were a funeral business dealing with the deceased, would it also ensure thriving business?"

"..."

Gu Zi Xu stammered: "This, this has never been tried."

"But if Daoist Xu wants it, it can be arranged..."

Xu Qing scrutinized Gu Zi Xu, eyes filled with distrust.

This old man, desperate for survival, dared to send off his own daughter, what lies won’t he make up?

"Old Gu, you’re a rat, I’m a cat, we are not destined to walk the same path, but if you’re willing to do one thing for me, I might spare you."

"Daoist, please say, if there’s something within my power, I surely won’t refuse."

"Alright, not going to lie, I was summoned by the grain official. Now, with harvest upon us, the granary is yet to be filled. If you command the rat pack to steal new grain from village households outside the Prefecture City and fill the granary, I will give you a way out. Not only that, I’ll recommend you to the superior, clear your past grievances, rebuild your temple, have the Imperial Court legitimize you as a true celestial being!"

Upon Xu Qing’s words, Gu Zi Xu abruptly stood up.

The old man widened his eyes, pointed at Xu Qing’s nose, and cursed angrily:

"A fine Cat Immortal Hall, I heard you set things right and remove evil in the past, thought you were a proper immortal, didn’t expect you’re also collaborating with filthy officials!"

Xuan Yu turned to Xu Qing, earnestly said: "Xu Qing, we can gradually accumulate incense offerings, but we cannot deceive people, cheat their offerings, that would harm our karma..."

Xu Qing ignored Xuan Yu’s advice, looked around, and said: "Among you, who is willing to follow orders? Let me be clear, those who obey will be rewarded with endless incense and commendations, but those who don’t..."

Saying this, Xu Qing drew out a large axe, capable of smashing a rat’s head.

The gate-sized axe reflected cold light, and the few fat rats guiding Xu Qing were the first to pledge allegiance, squeaking loudly, declaring their willingness to steal grain from village households.

Among the servant rats in the rat dwelling, only one sided with Gu Zi Xu, while the rest tried to persuade, hoping he would consider the larger picture.

"Master, gaining recognition from the Imperial Court is a rare opportunity, establishing a King Rat Temple means endless offerings and incense for our descendants..."

Gu Zi Xu huffed furiously, whiskers quivering in anger, supported by Gu Qiao’Er, neither expected to encounter betrayal at the last moment, leaving them disheartened.