His Toxic Addiction
Chapter 234: Doomed.

Chapter 234: Doomed.

Arissa’s heartbeat fastened. What did I just say? She asked herself. Her palms immediately turned sweaty and she fidgeted with her fingers.

She panicked, "I never meant those words, that was an accident," she said hurriedly refusing to look at Jocelyn. She fixed her eyes down to her toes.

Jocelyn placed a hand on Arissa’s shoulder but Arissa shook it off. The heavy words she just let out, left her frightened that she wish the earth would open up and swallow her.

She felt doomed!

When Arissa shook her hand off that way, it baffled Jocelyn. She doesn’t see those words as something someone should be ashamed of to say but for Arissa, she knows her friend so well to know that she doesn’t seem ashamed of those words.

Rather, she was afraid of those words and Jocelyn’s supportive instincts immediately kicked in.

"Relax," Jocelyn stood before her and held both sides of her shoulders, "It’s no crime falling for your husband. No one has that right more than you do," she said softly.

"I have no right," Arissa countered before Jocelyn would close her mouth, "I have no right to feel this way. The contract never stated this as a right,"

Remembering her words, all blood drained from her face. Over her twenty-three years on earth, this comment was the most dreadful she have ever said. The most unplanned, they left her lips before she would even think.

Jocelyn sat on her left side and pulled her into a side hug, "I understand how you feel but trust me, you have all right to feel this way about him. In the eyes of the law, he is your husband. Don’t let the mindset of a contract destroy your happiness. If he makes you happy with new reasons to live then I suggest you make this work." she advised.

Arissa pulled away from Jocelyn, "You don’t understand. I pushed him away a lot of times and it lead to unnecessary arguments between us. There was a certain time I even hurt him verbally."

Jocelyn hummed, "Are you scared he would reject you due to your past attitudes?" she asked for a clearer explanation.

Arissa nodded, "He deserves someone better than me, and I think he already has that someone,"

Arissa’s head spun at her own words. The feeling was unbearable. Never did she imagine she would feel this way toward him.

She kept on denying but right now, the words refused to go in and her tongue refused to obey her. Which leads to them letting themselves out.

"He found that someone doesn’t matter. What matters now is that you love him_"

Arissa cut her off, "Don’t use that term, please." she pleaded. The term ’love’ terrifies her. A lesser word should be used instead.

"Why? That’s how you feel," Jocelyn took Arissa’s hand in hers, "Look at me, Arissa," she implored and Arissa stiffly turned her neck to her.

"You love him, you do and I want you to embrace that feeling. Embrace all of it. Don’t run from it, it would lead you nowhere. Don’t feel like you’re all alone, if he rejects your love then I’m here for you. We would cry our eyes out together as we have always done." she pulled Arissa into another hug.

This time, Arissa hugged her back with tears-filled eyes.

"I love you," Jocelyn professed her love.

Arissa laughed with her tears now dropping, "I love you too,"

Jocelyn pouted in the hug, "Don’t say too. It feels like you don’t mean it," she said.

Arissa pulled away from the hug, "This isn’t my first time saying ’I love you too’ I mean, you also say it," she pointed out.

Jocelyn thinned her lips and shut her eyes dramatically like an exhausted teacher to a five years old kid.

"Men don’t like it that way_"

Arissa’s jaw dropped, "Men?"

"Yes, men. I was just warming you up on how to tell Nicklaus that you love him,"

Arissa almost fainted.

Jocelyn sat up straight, "Now, let’s start again. Pretend for a moment that I’m Nicklaus and tell me you love me,"

Arissa blushed, "I can’t."

"You can’t what?"

"I can’t say it. Although we are alright and somehow on the same page, Nicklaus won’t turn me down nicely, he would become cold to me. And again, I don’t want him to know that lately, his kindness has gotten into my head,"

"Okay," Jocelyn agreed thoughtfully, "Then show it. Show him you love him, let your heart lead and not your head when you are around him. Your heart would let you know things to do naturally,"

Arissa faced Jocelyn and folded her both legs on the couch in a sideways position, "What happens after this? Do I stand a chance over the woman he loves?" she asked.

"I don’t know who you talk about, but I could bet you stand more chance over her. You stay in the same house with him, he’s part of the first people you see in the morning and you both spend the nights together. You stand heights higher than whoever that woman might be,"

"I disagree with this. She controls his whole mind," Arissa differed remembering what happened between them earlier.

That moment was verifying but it also opened her eyes to a lot of realizations.

"If she controls his mind, you have to control his heart." Jocelyn debated, refusing to give up, "No matter what you say, Nicklaus has a love for you. He won’t treat you this way just because of some wife title. Perhaps he hasn’t realized it yet and needs help too." she pointed a finger at Arissa chest, "Help you alone can provide. Show him you love him and let things fall into place."

Arissa worried, "But I would get hurt when he doesn’t reciprocate my feelings. We shouldn’t be betting on false hopes so much. I think I should just look for a way to kill this feeling before it tries controlling me,"

Jocelyn laughed, "And I guess i’d just stay afar and watch how the feelings would get into your head and control you."

Arissa glared at her, "Afar? After saying you would cry with me?"

"I said i’d cry with you when he rejects you and not when you refuse to let him know." Jocelyn corrected.

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