World After Worlds
Chapter 349 - 349: § WHY ARE YOU SORRY? §

"Why are you sorry?" Matteo heard a soft whisper in his ear as she continued to brush his hair with her fingers gently. "Why did you cry?" She asked without waiting for him to answer the first question. He lifted his body to set her free from his embrace and she willingly let him go as well.

He decided to lay beside her and despite her small frame, he cuddled on her chest while his arm was wrapped around her waist. She returned her hand on his head and proceeded to brush his hair like she was coaxing him.

"I don't want to anger you but you were mad at me. That's why I am sorry." He answered honestly but his voice was still weak and broken. He even sniffed, "I cried because… it was overwhelming. I don't want you to hate me." She stopped skimming her fingers on his scalp.

"The way you said it, it seems that I am such a vicious person."

Matteo did say anything to repudiate her. He looked up at her and saw that she was not staring at him. She had her eyes closed and her expression was relaxed. His hand without him knowing reached out to touch her cheek, she did not react and was unfazed. He rose from laying on her chest and labeled his face to stare at her. Her hand slipped from his head and he caught it to intertwine their fingers.

She slowly opened her eyes and their gazes met. "Your eyes are red," she smiled, and with her other free hand, she reached for his face. "Even your nose is pinkish. It's adorable…"

"You don't seem to be a vicious person, Rym. You are vicious." He did not conceal his thoughts and pressed his lips hard. "You're so bad. Heartless…" She giggled and moved her hand on the back of his head and pushed him down.

Their faces were inches apart.

"Then, why do you love someone like me? You accept me so easily. When I was young, am I considerate? Am I soft-hearted? Did I not change?" His eyebrows immediately crossed in awe with her question. It was about the past again…

At this point, he was like an open book. She could see what was going on in his mind. She narrowed her eyes on him and smiled ardently, "You can't return my memories, right? What about telling me about it? About me in the past when you were there when I was growing up. What did you see back then?"

"My thoughts about you…?" He was bewildered to the extent that he did not know what kind of expression he had. He had not anticipated that she would be interested in his perspective. He forced himself to look at the side, to evade her charming eyes staring at him.

His heart that was not able to calm down quaked when something glazed on it as he heard her say those. Just thinking she was concerned with his thoughts brought this amazing feeling to him.

He swallowed a mouthful of poisonous words. It was so sweet that he could not stop himself from taking it all.

Really evil.

She played with him like this.

She did not love him but because of some single phrases and caring movements. He would fool himself if it was the truth. Clearly, Matteo was not blind or dense. He could see, he could feel, and know what her intentions were. Yet, he was willingly bringing himself to be the subject of her wicked deeds towards him. He was a fool. A fool of the entire fools existed.

"Hm," she hummed softly and traced her fingertips on his forehead, "What do you think back then about me, tell me about it. What were your thoughts the first time you saw me? When was our first meeting? How do I look?" He involuntarily redirected his attention to her. His eyes were hazy as he stared down at her.

"You were small. You were an infant." He muttered, "You were so little, I never touched you because you look so fragile. You were crying when I found you but when you saw me…" A smile appeared on Matteo's expression. "You giggled and reached out to me."

"It seemed like I really liked you ever since."

"Looking back, I should have seen it coming. Even the first time I saw you. You already stirred emotion in me." He said with a low voice, he bent his arm and made his lips fall on her. "Back then, I should have turned away." He whispered and closed his eyes. "I should have not let these feelings control me. I should have regulated it. Back then… maybe back then, I could still save myself from you, right?

"You know you're in deep shit because of me?" Yanarym laughed.

"I should have seen this coming."

"Can you turn back time?" She asked and pushed his face away from her. How can they talk casually in this close proximity? "If you could, you should go back and never associate with me."

His lips stretched into a gorgeous smile, "Ha." It sounded like a laugh, he fixed his eyes to her eyes, "You jest. Even if you open the cage I am in right now, force me to go. Saying I could be free. I will lock it myself so I can stay. I will never allow you to be apart from me."

"You just said, you wanted to save yourself from me?"

"I did not say I wanted to be saved, Rym."

"But you said—"

"Maybe. I said 'maybe'. I did not say I 'want' it to happen." Yanarym blinked her eyes. Why did she not think of it? Of course, it must be it. Matteo is a masochist! She might be slowly turning into a sadist but this man is a total masochist! Wow.

It was a good thing that it was not his fetish in bed. Now, she could say he has some problem in the head. He likes to be tormented by her? Wow.

She was too speechless to have anything else to say.

"S-so, you took care of me after you saw my fragile baby body?" Yanarym coughed and reverted back to the topic. He shook his head and pressed her hand that he was holding.

"No, I left you after giving you protection."

"...you left? Didn't you say you fell for me when I was six?"

"That's right. The protection I gave you started to wear off. Out of curiosity, I searched for you. I saw you again when you were five. Before your sixth birthday, we became close, you were glued to me." Matteo entered the consciousness of reminiscing. Seeing him being pleased with the memories he was recalling, Yanarym could say the past was not that bad for Matteo.

So, the reason he didn't want her to remember was nothing to do with his experience but rather it was because of her? He kept on saying he didn't want to make her cry. That particular scene he did not want her to remember was a trauma for the original and to Matteo.

Also…

Hearing from his perspective, the dream she had back then was not far from the true events that transpired before. This dandelion field was the exact place in the dream except that there was no lake. The original had really affection for Matteo, nevertheless… Again, nevertheless, it seemed like the original was not really in love with Matteo. Just like what he claimed it to be. The original in that dream was affectionate to Matteo but it was not romantic.

So, what was the fondness she felt? Those wrenching emotions caused her heart to be shattered? It was apparent that it could not just be puppy love or a simple crush. At some point, the original loved Matteo more than her life, or was it just an illusion? Did Yanarym overlook the situation?

Wait… is it possible that 'I' is the one who is in love with Matteo, not the original? I don't understand it but falling in love could cause someone to lose common sense. Is this the side effect of my love for Matteo? I became stupid that I could no longer comprehend the circumstances? Is that why I cannot find answers to my questions? So, I finally fell in love? It's not as thrilling as I imagined. Is this love? Huh… it's boring. And so, my love language is causing aggravation to my counterpart?

Guide-sama: "Even I, who is alienated from the concept of love, could say you are not in love Yanarym."

How could you say that? As you said, you don't know what love is. Maybe this is my love?

Guide-sama: "You're a heartless person, at least for this moment, I am confident you don't love Matteo."

You're so cruel Guide-sama, if Matteo could hear you, He will surely cry.

Guide-sama: "...Why? Am I wrong?" Yanarym pressed her lips to a straight line.

I guess you're right. If I love him, I will never let him suffer.