Who would study psychology unless they had some issues?!
Chapter 445 - 438: Sense of Mission

Chapter 445: Chapter 438: Sense of Mission

The specialized terms that appear here also need to be explained to the visitor.

Nan Zhubin first explained to the visitor about "role confusion."

"The so-called ’role,’ in a formal explanation, is the ’behavior pattern expected by society for a person in a certain position.’"

"Of course, ’roles’ are not just so-called ’social expectations,’ but also include ’self-expectations.’

Seeing the visitor showing a serious expression, Nan Zhubin knew the other party had entered a state of learning.

"For example—a 34-year-old man with a family might have multiple identities such as ’father,’ ’husband,’ ’son,’ ’employee,’ etc., each with its own behavior patterns."

"And an individual who fails to achieve role identification during ’adolescence’ might experience ’role confusion,’ applying the behavior of one role in the context of another."

Nan Zhubin looked into the visitor’s eyes: "He might show immaturity, lack of opinion, or even childishness in his ’son’ identity at home, even more so than his children; but in front of his parents, he might exhibit the identity of ’employee’ or even ’leader’ from work, being rigid and unfeeling."

"The underlying reason is that the individual failed to grow during ’adolescence,’ doesn’t know the answer to the question ’Who am I?’, and couldn’t delineate the boundaries of each ’role,’ ultimately displaying inappropriate behavior in inappropriate situations."

"If this situation worsens, it may develop into ’role conflict,’ to the extent where the individual must abandon one of the identities to maintain normal life."

This is an explanation of ’role confusion.’

As for ’bewilderment,’ there is no need to explain further.

Lin Xi deeply understands this now.

Nan Zhubin seems to be explaining a psychological term, but he is actually discussing the issues Lin Xi faces.

However, Nan Zhubin didn’t directly point his finger at the visitor’s nose, saying "you’ve got problems, your problem is..." kind of stuff.

He chose relatively mild wording.

One purpose of this choice is to reduce the aggression in his words.

It’s not really about worrying that the visitor will then develop any ’defense’ or ’avoidance.’

But because almost attacking ’confrontation’ will inevitably stir up emotions.

At this moment, what Nan Zhubin hopes for is the visitor to think as much as possible, which requires a relatively peaceful mindset.

Nan Zhubin’s second purpose is to hope that through this objective wording, he reduces his subjective evaluation.

Not "I judge you have issues," but "former scholars rigorously researched and believed your current situation has problems."

For visitors like Lin Xi, such wording can help them accept better.

The stunted personality development in ’adolescence’ has far more than just this impact on later life development.

"Because the personality development during ’adolescence’ was hindered, it will certainly affect the personality development later, even possibly leading to a stagnation of personality development."

"For instance, the core conflicts in ’early adulthood’ may be impossible to overcome, making it difficult for individuals to develop healthy intimate relationships."

"’Role-confused’ individuals will also struggle to find a group they identify with, resulting in ’lack of belonging’ or ’difficulty in social adaptation.’

"And due to various difficulties, emotional abnormal fluctuations naturally become troubling issues, and even some other abnormal feelings..." Nan Zhubin thought for a while, yet decided to swallow temporarily terms like ’anxiety’ and ’depression,’ "might also appear."

Faced with Nan Zhubin’s explanation, Lin Xi fell silent.

It’s all hit.

These, are indeed the issues she truly has.

Laid out in front of her by the consultant almost like a list.

Unable to dodge.

But for some reason, maybe because she was away from home, away from her mother;

Or maybe because she’d been tormented too long by these issues she always avoided, to the point where she could no longer endure;

Or perhaps the environment in front of her and the earlier conversation indeed made Lin Xi feel a state she had never experienced.

Her seat at this moment was obliquely facing Nan Zhubin.

But she involuntarily adjusted her posture to a "leaning against the sofa" position.

To face Nan Zhubin directly.

As if to face her issues directly.

"Teacher Nan, these issues... I do have them, all of them. Sometimes, I vaguely can feel them, just that I don’t dare to think deeply..."

The visitor swallowed a mouthful of saliva: "What should I do?"

The emergence of problems is not to torment people.

But to let people overcome them, to learn.

In order to be able to handle similar situations when they occur in the future.

Nan Zhubin glanced at the clock on the wall, realizing time was almost up.

Coincidentally, today’s procedure also reached a point suitable for an ending.

Nan Zhubin smiled gently: "Today’s time is almost up. If we have the opportunity in the future, we can discuss and formulate specific methods in more detail."

"Here, I can teach you two relatively common methods—not specific techniques, because I believe, even without external suggestions, deep down you know what to do, but just can’t make up your mind."

The visitor swallowed a mouthful of saliva, nodded to indicate that Nan Zhubin was right.

Not to mention this indecisiveness that has persisted, she might even revert to her previous state of hesitation right after leaving this consulting room today.

"You can think of this as homework—first, I need you to make a ’role list.’

The visitor blinked: "Role list?"

Nan Zhubin nodded: "Take a piece of paper and list the ’roles’ you currently have, along with the ’role responsibilities’ corresponding to each role."

"My requirement is—after you list these ’role responsibilities,’ you need to show this paper to someone else. It could be preparing for a lesson, or doing a project, in short—"

"You need to get someone else’s assessment of your ’role responsibilities,’ or even have them revised."

Nan Zhubin thought for a moment: "Limit it to five people, after at least five people assess your ’role responsibilities,’ then reorganize them, I’m sure you’ll gain new insights at that time."

The visitor took a deep breath, feeling somewhat challenged.

But still nodded.

"As for the second homework—I hope you repeatedly think about a concept."

Nan Zhubin said.

Next, he will challenge a core cognitive conflict of the visitor.

"You mentioned before that you feel ’unfilial’ for wanting to change."

The visitor nodded.

Nan Zhubin clenched his fist at his chest and then slowly extended a finger: "You have already discovered the ’adolescent’ personality development issue we discussed, yet—this issue does not reside solely in you."

"It also exists in your mother."

The visitor was stunned.

It was like a thunderclap at her ear, the sentence sounded far louder than when Nan Zhubin revealed the problems earlier.

"So, by changing yourself, you are not only ’helping yourself,’ but also ’helping your mother.’

Nan Zhubin curled his lips: "Compared to accommodating your mother at present, this approach is more challenging, but also—more ’filial.’

Isn’t the sense of mission as a child stronger?

The visitor’s eyes widened, her pupils having violent tremors due to the shock on her thinking.