Villain's Odyssey: Enslaving heroines, Conquering Villainesses
Chapter 56: The Weight of Realization

So what if I was crippled? So what if I would always be seen as a burden? So what if I would always be alone? At least I was alive. At least I was beautiful... wasn’t I?

Or...

Perhaps I was deluding myself. What was the standard of beauty when half of you didn’t work? When you couldn’t even stand on your own two feet? Maybe I was just a broken doll, pretty to look at but ultimately useless.

But I still tried to believe it. I still tried to smile.

But now...

Now I no longer see a reason to.

At that very moment, I finally realized what that feeling was—that painful feeling in my chest whenever I saw other girls staring at Asher. That dreamy look they wore.

Jealousy.

I was just jealousy.

Now it all made sense. Unlike me, they were complete. They had what I didn’t have—the ability to walk, to dance, to run. They could be the kind of woman a man could sweep off her feet, literally.

The realization pained me so much it still hurts.

Asher may be my friend, but that’s all he would ever be to me. That’s all he could ever see me as—poor, broken Natalia in her wheelchair. At the end of the day, I was just a burden with wheels. No one would ever love me that way. I had always known this, but I had built walls of denial around the truth.

It didn’t matter if I was beautiful or not. The fact remained: I was a cripple, and that would always be the first thing people saw. The wheelchair would always enter the room before I did.

Sobs.

Huh?

I’m crying?

Again?

The tears felt scalding against my cheeks, each drop a testament to my pathetic state. I was so stupid—crying wouldn’t change anything. Crying wouldn’t give me back my legs or make me whole.

Sobs.

More tears carved burning tracks down my face, and I could taste the salt.

I tried.

I really tried to stop it.

But I couldn’t. The floodgates had opened, and years of suppressed anguish came pouring out.

My heart felt like it was being crushed, each beat sending shockwaves of pain through my chest. This issue had never hurt me this much before, so why now? Perhaps it was because, just like all the other girls who had glanced at him with longing, I had harbored the same foolish thoughts the moment I set my eyes on him.

It was faint but it was there—that flutter of hope. Aside from Nora, he was literally the only person who treated me like... a normal person. Not a cripple to be pitied or exploited. And it had kindled this dangerous desire, this whisper that perhaps, just perhaps, he was my special someone.

But now, seeing all those other girls—girls who were not only beautiful but whole—displaying their blatant interest for him, it made me realize I never stood a chance. They could offer him everything I couldn’t. They could walk beside him, dance with him, be the partner he deserved.

And it’s just... not fair.

Sobs.

Why must I end up alone? Why did this have to happen to me?

Sobs.

Why can’t I be like any other girl out there? Girls who dream of having a family of their own with the man of their choosing. A love life filled with stolen kisses and midnight walks and all the things that would forever be denied to me.

Sobs.

"Natalia?" I heard, and lifted my eyes through the blur of tears, my vision meeting Asher’s concerned gaze. I didn’t even notice, but he had already stopped pushing the wheelchair and had walked in front of it, kneeling before me so we were at eye level.

"I d-don’t..." I tried to speak, but only more tears came out, choking off my words.

Pathetic.

I am so pathetic.

Now I was making him worry about me, adding to his burden. My face must look hideous—red and blotchy, eyes swollen from crying. This was how he would remember me.

Sobs.

But I just couldn’t stop. The dam had burst, and everything was spilling out.

Now...

Now I finally understood.

This was why Nora never let me get too close to guys. She didn’t want me to realize this crushing truth. It seems meeting him wasn’t the blessing I thought it was. Maybe I should never have met him. Maybe ignorance really was bliss.

"Just calm down," I heard him say, and the next thing I felt was a sudden embrace.

His arms wrapped around me, warm and solid and real. For a moment, I could almost forget about the wheelchair, about my useless legs, about everything that made me less than whole.

"It’s okay, I’m here," I heard him whisper, feeling his hand caress my back and hair with such gentleness it made me cry harder.

But I still cried.

I cried because I knew this moment was borrowed time. This might as well be the last time he would pay me any attention. Soon, he would find someone whole, someone who could give him everything I couldn’t.

In the end...

I will always be alone.

I am sorry, Mom, but I no longer see any reason to smile anymore. To be happy. To pretend that this half-life I’m living is enough.

Such a life...

Is it worth living?

....

....

A/N: Guys, more chaps, about 20 more on privilege. I tried my possible best to get them out of there, but I can’t, so if you afford it... Indulge me!

A/N- Your gift is the motivation for my creation. Give me more motivation! Also, if you have enjoyed the story so far perhaps you can try dropping a review, the author would appreciate that, thanks!

Villain, out!