The Ger's Contract Marriage [BL]
Chapter 415: Xu Zeng: The Lonely Ger

Chapter 415: Xu Zeng: The Lonely Ger

*Xu Zeng’s Perspective*

"Hmmm, hmm, hmm," The humming was low and relaxed. Not at all indicative of any discomfort. It was a melody that was slow and calming, the beginning theme song to a gardening show Xu Zeng started watching as soon as he found himself in the other world.

Xu Zeng didn’t really have much of a green thumb, nor did he even feel the urge to grow anything, this might have been because of all the tireless work he did on the "Xu" family’s Land back in Sun Village.

He’d work during good weather, bad weather, blistering sun, and pouring rain. If the neighbors didn’t feel generous enough to plead with his "father" and stepmother, he was forced to work through it all.

So maybe he did have a green thumb, but you couldn’t get him back on a farm easily. It could never be his pastime of choice, planting flowers, fruits, or even vegetables.

Now he was a demon beast with all his inheritance, not just someone who could be told what to do, not just someone who could be beaten and starved whenever it suited his "father" and stepmother. He didn’t need to be afraid.

He was a demon beast. He shouldn’t be afraid of humans.

If she tried to hit him...she wouldn’t...

"Hmmm, hmm, hmm," Xu Zeng hummed the theme song again, as if it would give him strength. He wished there were no barriers in Dongzhou.

He had his ancestor’s inheritance and even a demon beast form, he didn’t need to be afraid, but with the barrier, he couldn’t even change into a beast form. All he had was this silver hair.

Xu Zeng wished his brother was here. He wished his "dad" was here. He didn’t want to be alone. From the other world with those walking corpses and even scarier humans, back to this peaceful estate with high walls and servants calling him master, Xu Zeng was still lonely.

He was so lonely, but he was Master Xu Zeng here, and he couldn’t make his brother look bad. He couldn’t be Xu Zeng from Sun Village who was quiet and beaten by everyone.

It might have even been better in the other world. Even though the monsters—the walking dead type and the humans that ate other humans or used each other as shields—were everywhere, the lawlessness of that world was a two edged sword.

He was always scared, but at the very least, he could read all the books he could carry from any library. He only needed to stay away from others.

There was also as much technology as he could get his hands on when he was feeling brave enough to slaughter the corpses needed to get to whatever store or warehouse he was aiming for.

The other world wasn’t always so bad. Even after everything, Xu Zeng still loved plants. He especially loved the plants his brother nurtured for him. And that greenhouse in the other world had become his favorite place.

The greenhouse in this world was beautiful too, but not nearly as big and filled with energy rich plants. That one was specially cared for, just for Xu Zeng.

A small smile lit up Xu Zeng’s face. He wished he could have his brother back. He would trade it all for Xu Feng. Even though the other world was scary, he would find a way to live there for the rest of his days if Xu Feng could come back and live happily with Xiao Long and Da Long.

The other world was dangerous, but he wouldn’t be scared this time. He would cry for his brother at night this time.

...

Maybe it was all his complaints, and tears he shed wanting them to be together again that led to this. He was back in the same situation as he was only a year ago, but now he couldn’t even hope that one day he and his brother would meet.

Xu Zeng wanted to be strong, but a tear fell down his cheek. The song wasn’t helping.

Turning on his bed, he looked out the window toward the moon. It was beautiful. The moon, the bed, the room, all of it was beautiful. His brother had done a great job and built a great life.

And here was, not even willing to face his old life. The red mole at the center of his forehead was fully visible in the night’s light. He wasn’t the thin and barely nourished ger who was taken away from Sun Village in a carriage.

Even so, Xu Zeng still felt the fear from last year coming after him like a mad dog. He knew his "father" and his stepmother couldn’t hurt him anymore, but he was still scared.

He had a hokku now, one that Xu Feng set up. He was freed from that life.

Xu Zeng wasn’t the ugly ger who was only good for hard labor and childcare anymore. Still, in this form, he felt less than. He would have to bear it till this trip to Sun Village was over, then he would only ever be a man.

Whenever he was in this body he felt the smallest, the ugliest, the most unworthy.

Xu Zeng wished he could hold Bai Mo’s hand again, or maybe he could taste Xu Hu Zhe’s kiss...

"Hah," the tall ger shut his eyes tightly. He wanted to turn off his brain completely. It was better when he didn’t think.

No thoughts, no fears.

In a few days, after his own mask was ready, their group of five would set off to retrieve his belongings from Sun Village. He could secure his nominal "dad’s" belongings and offer his shell to his nephews. That was the most important.

Still, Xu Zeng’s hand darted to the white mask on the bedside table. His fingers traced it at first, before pulling it into the bed with him.

No one needed to know.

Only the moon would share this secret with him.