The Ger's Contract Marriage [BL]
Chapter 396: Insecure

Chapter 396: Insecure

Bai Mo couldn’t quite find his words. He couldn’t fully express what Xu Zeng’s gaze was doing to him. The man...the ger, was very handsome in a manly way which wasn’t or at least it shouldn’t have been attractive to him.

But it was attractive. SO HOT, as Xu Feng would say. At least for Bai Mo, Xu Zeng was very attractive in both forms, male and ger.

He had noticed his friend’s brother only after they’d met a handful of times. Why not immediately? Because he was consumed by his grief of missing his final moments with his best friend.

He was too occupied with this grief to do or feel more for anything or anyone. As he begrudgingly made the choice to support those who were grieving even more fiercely than him—Xuan Jian and Xuan Yang—his vision became less cloudy.

He started by showering his love and affection on the two little eggs, Da Long and Xiao Long. Then he moved to trying to spend some time with Xu Feng’s ’wild animals,’ all three of them were in a very bad place.

Once he started moving, Bai Mo became aware of just how attractive Xu Feng’s ’little brother’ was. And the little brother wasn’t very little and ’cute’ as Xu Feng had implied in his last letter to Jinghua.

This little brother wasn’t some cute little ger, he was a big and handsome man who apparently could also turn into a big and handsome ger.

Bai Mo wanted to apologize to this hottie for his outburst, but the gaze was unending, and so was his fidgeting.

Anxious or not, the next words from Xu Zeng had Bai Mo completely frozen in shock and disbelief when his body finally processed it.

"Disgusting?"

Disgusting? Was Xu Zeng asking if Bai Mo thought his gaze was disgusting? How could he ask something like that?

Couldn’t he clearly see Momo’s red cheeks and darting gaze that always came back to him? Bai Mo didn’t think he was shallow, but apparently, he was.

His love was not blind!

"NO! How could it be disgusting?" Bai Mo was supposed to be getting himself under control, but things weren’t going as planned.

His manners were being completely thrown to the wind. Still, manners or no manners, he wouldn’t let the ger in front of him get the wrong idea. How could he think Xu Zeng was disgusting?

"My... gaze is not so fierce... uncomfortable as a man, but as a ger, its disturbing, no?" Xu Zeng asked in a much more quiet voice.

The aura around him that was usually detached and distant seemed less independent and free willed. At that moment, Xu Zeng almost seemed to be some small and pitiful ger.

Not just in words, his actions were also more muted and restrained, his eyes looking like those of a trapped beast.

"No! It’s not disturbing at all! Well, it is..." Bai Mo added, his face flushing red once more and his ears fidgeting nervously, but he didn’t pause this time, he continued on to ensure Xu Zeng wouldn’t have the wrong impression.

"It is very attractive. It makes my heart beat faster." Momo added with gusto his eyes focused on the contents of the table. He couldn’t even look at the other ger’s hands anymore. He was now forced to look at his teacup and the cooling tea in its depths.

"Attractive?" The question seemed a bit hollow. If Bai Mo was looking into Xu Zeng’s eyes, he would see the loneliness in its depths.

"Mhmm," Bai Mo nodded. Even his ears felt hot now. He could help but to reach a hand up to rub at his ears, the fur was oddly soothing.

"You think I’m attractive? Like this?"

"Mhmmm," Bai Mo replied not looking up, his cultured responses thrown out the window.

"As a ger?" Xu Zeng was clearly confused, but Bai Mo wasn’t sure if he could take any more of this conversation. It was dragging on, and there wasn’t more to be said. Xu Zeng was handsome, he was blushing in embarrassment, the end.

What was there not to understand? He was handsome, VERY HANDSOME! And he had a cute smile. Whether he was frowning or smiling, the look in Xu Zeng’s eyes made him want to run and hide away.

But not too far away.

Bai Mo wanted to be out of sight, but stay close enough to the other ger to watch him from a distance unnoticed. He felt like he was prey and this was a predator.

His confidence had skyrocketed with his bloodline awakening, but in Xu Zeng’s presence all of that was clearly nothing.

In front of his distant relatives, even the most pampered of both the Bai and Deng bloodlines, he could clearly hold his head high. He was hiding his true potential in front of them but that didn’t mean he needed to hide his tail behind his back.

But here in front of Xu Zeng, even if he turned into the fox immortal beast himself, he felt he would still want to hide from this man’s gaze.

"As a ger? I’m not ugly?" Xu Zeng seemed to be confused by Bai Mo’s reaction. His own reaction was marred by his upbringing, and his demon beast pride. Both warring for dominance in his psyche.

Was he handsome or ugly? Which one did he believe?

A lifetime of abuse was showing its marks in plain sight.

Xu Zeng’s voice got even lower and somehow pitifully as he whispered, "An ugly ger can only get married if they’re hardworking. What man would want to marry another man who is bigger and more like a man than he is."

It was one thing for Xu Zeng to live more unrestrainedly when he was a man. He could do as he pleased, say what he wanted, and fancy whoever he fancied. But as a ger, things were different.

As a ger, he was still that teen who could only be liked for doing all the work his stepmother wouldn’t do and his supposed father found bothersome. He could only be liked if he used his manly appearance to work like cattle for affection.