The Dragon Queen and her mates.
Chapter 128: Fear

Chapter 128: Fear

The Dragon Queen confessing that she was scared was one thing but her crying out loud was something that Cian couldn’t wrap his head around at all, when was the last time he saw her crying? Was it when her mother died? No, even back then the Queen hadn’t cried, not that he blamed her too after all her mother died while blaming her daughter for taking away her mate even when the previous Emperor was nothing but a jerk to the Empress dowager all her life, she still cursed and scolded Bree for killing her mate. The Empress dowager didn’t care that her mate was someone who deserved to die in the hand of the Dragon Queen, the one thing that she cared about was the pain she was in when the bond snapped and its shattered fragments started to dig hard into her heart.

Her pain was something Cian understood but what he never understood was why the Empress dowager had to make her daughter miserable along with her. Dying while cursing her daughter? How pathetic was that —— if he was in her place, he would have anchored himself around his child and lived for their sake. Not died while cursing and blaming them for something that wasn’t their fault.

When the Empress dowager passed away, the Queen did not shed one thing and many came to call her heartless, only Cian and the other consorts thought that she was right in doing so, mourning for someone when you didn’t even have any feelings for them was something completely wrong.

So, was it the alcohol? He dipped his gaze at the wine glass that she was holding and shook his head—— no, the Queen has been drinking ever since she was sixteen. There was no way she was going to let herself go because of a glass of alcohol, she might have gotten a bit tipsy since the wine was strong but that wasn’t enough to make her cry now was it?

He hesitated and then lowered his head so that he could look at Bree’s face and ask softly, " What are you scared of your majesty? If there is something then you can tell me, I will listen to your fears, don’t worry I wouldn’t dare to judge you after listening to them, you see?"

A choked laugh escaped Bree’s lips as she twirled the wine in the glass and tilted her head slightly and looked at him, her lips shaped in a pout glistening with the wine sip that she has just taken. " Why? Are you going to fight my fears and chase them away? Is that what you are going to do?"

Cian blinked his eyes looking at the faint red circles on Bree’s cheeks and almost frowned. Why was she acting like she was already drunk, he knew her and knew that her capacity was much better than this, so why did she look like she was really drunk? Was this some kind of side effect of drinking so much?

" If that’s what you want, your majesty...I will do that," though he was confused as to why Bree was already drunk after taking a few sips, given that she was a dragon and all, her capacity should be better than others. Her getting drunk like this could only mean one thing and that’s——Saphira was hurt.

His siren let out a low croon as if upset by the thought, as far as the two of them knew... Bree didn’t leave the palace for more than three months, she has been living the life of a debaucher ever since she returned from the expedition and back then she was carefully examined by that healer in the army..so there were no chances of her losing an arm or leg without them knowing. If she didn’t get hurt on the expedition does it mean that she got hurt while she was in the palace?

Eyes widening Cian tried to hold her wrist, he wanted to check whether or not Saphira was really hurt. Now that this suspicion was in his head, he couldn’t help but think about he hasn’t seen Saphira shift and fly in the sky for like weeks——as shifter freedom was the primary need of a beast, and the stronger the beast was the more its need to stay out of its confinement was, yet Saphira despite being a dragon, has been confined inside Bree for so long and did not even seem to be surfacing.

Though he could sense her, her presence was faint, really faint. She wasn’t pressing herself against the surface and his Siren couldn’t sense her as well as he use to.

However, just as his hand was going to get a hold of Bree’s wrist, it was slapped away, as the latter pouted and said, " What are you doing? Are you taking advantage of me?"

" I am not your majesty," said Cian with all the seriousness in his body. " I am trying to check something, can you please let me see it?"

Bree snorted. "That’s what everyone says, and then they grip your wrist, then arm and then try to pull you in an embrace, this is why I hate men... they always take advantage of me like I am their sidekick."

" Advantage? Someone dared to take advantage of you?" Cian felt the anger that he has been suppressing for so long bubble back up. Who in their right mind would try to take advantage of his mate? " Why didn’t you tell me? I would have helped you."

" How would you have helped me?" She said with a frown but due to the influence of alcohol that frown looked more cute than her usual frown. " You weren’t there when it happened to me, in fact, no one was ... I was all alone."

Maybe she was talking about her childhood?

That was the only thing that came to Cian’s head when he heard her say that he wasn’t there, even if this happened when she was in her teens, Yakov was right next to her from the day she turned fourteen. That man was her chosen husband whether or not he was her mate, given that their families matched, he was chosen as the first consort the day he was born, if something like that would have happened to the Queen in his presence, that man would have retaliated for sure.

" Is that what you fear? Being harassed?" He asked tentatively, that would explain why she was hell-bent on avoiding him and the others after she was completely in her correct mind. Not the zone out one, not the half drunk one —— the completely sane side one.

" Maybe," she dragged the ’e’ nice and long before taking another sip of her wine. " But what if I say that I fear the fear itself?" She turned to look at him, and Cian felt like that smile was a bit too sad for someone this beautiful.

" I will say that you are brave to face them every day." He answered honestly, at least she was willing to face them. He, on the other hand, was still tied to his own problems, he couldn’t summon his courage to face them, and stayed locked in the mentally shut cupboard that he has created in his mind.

" No, I am not brave," she laughed lightly, her face lit up with the glow from the golden orb shimmering on the ceiling as she shook her head letting those dark wavy curls spread all over her face like a dark veil. " I am just a coward, who is pretending to be something that she isn’t and filling up the responsibilities that I don’t want to because that’s the only thing that I can do, nicely. I am not what everyone wants... they just want someone who will fulfil their expectations ..." Cian brushed her hair off her face and was shocked to see that she was really crying, pearls like tears fell down her eyes and he immediately grasped them before they could hit the floor. The Queen might not be able to think straight right now, but her tears were extremely valuable.

When met with a surface they might create an explosion whether big or small depending on the number of emotions that are packed in them.

Since he didn’t fancy getting blown up in the middle of the night, he continued to wipe her tears while secretly keeping some for himself. These little bombs might come in handy in the future maybe, he didn’t stop her from crying, instead, he cupped the side of her face and let her lean onto him while wiping her face with a handkerchief, allowing her to let loose all the emotions that she has been storing inside her for a long time. " I am just so scared, I don’t want to be here... they have so many expectations from me, I hate them. Because if they look up at me then it means that I have to fulfil those expectations and if I want to fulfil them, I have to work hard ... I can’t...I can’t do it. Even when I want to I can not do it. Because I am not the confident Queen, I am just a girl trying to play house."