The Dragon Queen and her mates.
Chapter 127: I am scared

Chapter 127: I am scared

Cian felt a chill crawl down his spine and he knew that Bree wasn’t joking when she said those words, he could tell whether a threat was true or not being someone who used to throw them out quite a lot in the past, he knew Bree meant business when she said that she would roast his balls. So, he immediately raised his hands and said, " I won’t your majesty, I will be on my best behaviour. I promise."

She still looked at him as if she wasn’t sure whether to believe him or not, seeing that she wasn’t coming to sit next to him, Cian sighed and said, " Are you scared, your majesty?"

" Excuse me?"

" I mean why are you scared of me doing anything though I promised that I won’t do anything and it means that I really wouldn’t do anything but is there any need for you to be scared of me?" He unhurriedly threw his right arm behind the couch and leaned back while staring at her. " I mean I would have understood if you were a shy, little girl who needed to protect her virtue from the big bad wolf but I don’t believe that you have much of a virtue left to save, is there?"

Physically there might not be but mentally she did have a virtue to protect, being a single woman all her life, it was freaking embarrassing to be called for being a shameless woman. "I get it there is no need for you to get smart with me." Abandoning her initial hesitation, she came to sit next to Cian and looked at him with an inquisitive expression and said, " say what do you want to tell me."

He didn’t speak at once, instead, he picked up the bottle of chocolate wine and poured Bree a generous amount before putting down the bottle and said, " I do believe that what you saw on the street made you think that I did something off the sort to betray you right?"

" You don’t have to explain it to me," after coming back to the palace, Bree had thought it through. She wasn’t the leading lady of this world there was no need for her to be upset upon seeing the men married to her being closed to someone else, after all that was what the book was all about right? She needed to think of a way to go back to her own world while taking care of this world and let the real male leads and leading lady do what they wanted to do—— though she felt upset and hurt this afternoon, Bree was certain that it was due to mating bond, she hardly had any feeling for Cian or anyone for the matter, so why will she care what they were doing?

Her feeling distressed was most likely response from the mating bond and Saphira, after all, she was never bounded to these men.

" I do understand that you have needs and if I am not fulfilling them, someone else will," said Bree with a voice that was so detached that she might as well be sharpening her sword on his heart.

Cian placed his glass down feeling as if the finest wine has lost its taste and looked at Bree. His emotions were a surging mess —- he felt angry, upset and distressed, though what she was telling the truth and this was how their relationship was supposed to be but why did his heart feel so angry upon listening to her words?

" Your majesty, nothing like that happened," said Cian after sucking a breath and calming down his emotions somewhat, he picked up his glass again and drowned down a good amount of wine down his throat and looked at Bree again feeling a little more in control. " That maid was attacked by a manticore and I saved her, that was all to it ... I was never going to touch her in the way that you are thinking and if you don’t believe me then there is nothing that I can do. That maid is nothing to me, never was and never will be, I know that our relationship is not as loving as other mates and it might never be because we have so many issues that we need to deal with, but that doesn’t mean that I will hurt you or much less disrespect you like that."

Taking a sip of the wine herself, Bree scoffed. " Never hurt me? Then was this the reason that you tried to kill me?"

The air seems to have frozen, maybe it was the anger from earlier or maybe it was the wine that was messing with her head but she ended up asking the very question that she didn’t dare to ask before. Raising her head from the chocolaty liquid, she looked at Cian and said, " If she is really nothing to you, then why did you try to kill me? Do you have an answer for that?"

When he didn’t say anything, she snorted and turned her head away, taking another large swig of the wine. " I guess not."

Cian stared at her, if he could he would have told her about the crazy possessiveness that he has buried in his heart when it came to her but he had a feeling that if he was to show it to her now, she might as well run away from him. So, he lowered his head and picked up the bottle of wine and poured himself another shot before he said, " You are right I have no answer for that your majesty."

Bree scoffed.

" But do you have the answers for all the betrayal you have given me? Or the other consorts?" Bree paused upon hearing his question, she raised her head and looked at Cian who smiled and poured her another shot. " You might not know your majesty, even if we haven’t bonded completely, I can feel what you feel... if your guards are dropped I can sense what’s going on in your heart or your body, and so can the other consorts. So, when you were being by other males, I can assure you that we felt it through the bond ... every gasp, every shudder and every bit of pleasure that coursed through your body was something that we could feel and honestly that was the most ... dreadful thing that I have felt!"

His words were spat through his gritted teeth, he was grinding them so hard that Bree could almost hear the sound of the teeth snapping and biting.

With his grip tightening on the glass, he turned to look at Bree. " You have no idea how it feels do you, your majesty? Because I, despite knowing how much you detested me, never broke the bond. I stayed ... though alone and abandoned like a toy that has been used and thrown to a side, waiting for you to come back." Pushing away the strands of his salmon pink hair, he wrenched out a pearl accessory that was hanging at the side of his head and threw it at the table. " Do you think I dress up because I want to? No, your majesty. I am as much of a man as other consorts are, but I know that my only attribute that attracts you is my beauty. So, I do what I can, I dress up every day, like a doll —— hoping that my shiny dresses will attract you, smile when I don’t want to because I want you to see me as the prettiest among others and never once dared to say what goes in my heart when I was upset so that you wouldn’t find me as a burden, tell me for whom I am doing this for?

" You are not," said Bree, she wasn’t looking at him but Cian was sure that she spoke to him. " I am not what, your majesty."

" You are not a toy," with a sigh, she raised her head and looked at Cian, her eyes brimming with sincerity. " You don’t need to dress up, if you don’t want to, you don’t have to hide your complaints from me if you don’t want to and you don’t have to smile if that’s what you hate. You don’t need my attention to be you, I understand as such that I am the centre of your world, but you need to think of yourself first and be happy because if you place your hopes on me, I will let you down. I am a human, I cannot be perfect and I cannot take on the responsibility of making you all happy."

" But why your majesty?"

" Because I am scared!" It was the alcohol, it was definitely the alcohol that was making her feel like this. " I am scared to be here, I don’t want to be the Queen or whatever I am, I just want to be Bree." With tears brimming in her eyes she raised her head and looked at Cian. " I am not a leader but people want me to lead, I am not a lover ...but you want me to love you all, equally that is..how am I supposed to do that, when I don’t even know how it feels to be loved? How can I love you when I am so broken?"