Tangled Hearts - The Alpha's Baby Mama
Chapter 81: You’ll be my priority...

Chapter 81: You’ll be my priority...

Selene POV

"I don’t know," He sighed running a hand through his hair, I could see the exhaustion in his eyes. "Selene... I thought we were so close and that there’s nothing that can make you doubt our love. Since when..." he trailed off "Since when did you start hating me so much that you want a divorce,".

I stared at my husband, studying the hardened lines of his face. So much had happened, so many secrets had been spilt into the open over the last few hours. Try as I may, I know it’ll never be easy for me to let this go again... the conversation couldn’t be delayed any longer.

"Noah!" I exhaled trying to control the angry surges that were passing through me "I don’t have time for this. Why are you not looking beyond the surface? You’ve maltreated me in the last couple of days; bedded me without my consent, ignored all my attempts at trying to get you to see that your people do not like me even when it is glaring that..."

Noah opened his mouth to protest, but I held up my hand to silence him. "No! let me finish. For months now, all you have done is lip service. You never listen to anything I say. Every time I bring up issues, it is dismissed as it’s all in my head or give them time. But how long has it been? Is it until something happens to me and my children that you’d take it seriously? Are you so bent on ignoring me so that you won’t offend certain people in your pack?"

"Selene..." He started to say but I continued.

I took a deep, shuddering breath, as I chewed my bottom lip wondering if I should just spill everything or if I should hold back. But I knew the more I held back, the more the resentment grew... the more I wanted to escape. The only way I know I can release the tightness in my chest is by letting go.

"And that’s just the start of it," I continued, my voice hardening "In case you don’t know which I already know you do. The hate, the disrespect is all because of Reid... you Beta. For some reason, he thinks I have some evil machinations or agenda and oh, it didn’t start today. He has always been suspicious about me and it worsened since I became your Luna. He’s the root of all the rumours,".

"How do you know that?" Noah’s expression flickered between anger and guilt as I spoke "What evidence do you have? I know Reid and you have a lot of friction but he’s not the kind of person to go around bearing false tales. He’s not that kind of person,".

"So..." my lips curled into a smile "It’s all in my head as usual? I am imagining things, right? All the confrontations and the obvious acts he puts up both in your presence and mine is a farce, right?"

"I am trying my best!" he yelled causing me to flinch. When he saw the fear in my eyes, he lowered his tone and tried to speak calmly "Selene, you have to understand, I am doing the best I can here!" He said spreading his hands in an imploring gesture. "Running this pack, dealing with all the threats, and politics and trying to satisfy everyone... it’s a constant battle. Can’t you just cut me some slack?"

His eyes shone with desperation and plea for understanding and a moment, I felt pity for him because I understood how tremendous his work as a Lycan King was but it was quickly overshadowed by my hurt and anger. In my experience, Men always know what to do but if you keep cutting them some ’slack’ they’ll keep expecting you to understand.

My first mate, Xavier was all the experience I needed to deal with this. Shaking my head slowly, I gave him a calm smile.

"No! Noah, I can’t just ’cut you some slack’ anymore. Your priorities are all wrong. You spend entire days, weeks, and months pleasing every fucking person except me and who tells you that you should please everyone? If you will let me, we’ll work together as a team... I might not be able to do the bulk of the work but you’d still know that you have me on your side,".

"Selene!" he closed his eyes, and exhaled deeply "I am TRYING!!! Aren’t you seeing it? I am trying my best!"

"You’re not!" I retorted "Instead of strengthening our relationship, our partnership, you prefer to lick people’s asses and make shady backroom deals,".

He flinched as he looked at me "You cannot say that to me, Selene... I don’t do shady backroom deals. I’ve explained to you what happened?"

"You told me because all your plans failed. If your plans hadn’t failed, would I still know? Would I be aware that they dangled a woman in front of you and you couldn’t make a decision until she came to your pack, and walked right into our home? How about this deal about building weapons and collaboration with Xavier? When were you going to let your mate in on this grand scheme?"

"I was going to talk to you!" Noah insisted, desperation creeping into his voice now "I’ve said this several times, Selene...I’ve explained and explained to you but you’re not listening. When it comes to matters like this, you have to be delicate about it. I have my people to protect... we’ve enjoyed almost a decade of peace; we cannot afford war. There was no way I was going to marry Jade Tanner... but you don’t expect me to say No, outrightly? I had a plan... I still do, I just need you to believe me... please!"

I studied him for a long time, taking in the pleading sincerity in his eyes. Part of me wanted to desperately believe him and move past this but the larger part of me... the part that had endured neglect from my mate for 7 years knew that the more they made themselves pitiable... the more I’d become miserable and nothing changes in the end.

Drawing myself together, my voice laced with bitter resignation...

"I don’t know what to believe from you anymore, Noah. You’ve lied and kept one too many secrets from me. If I wanted to be stuck with a mate who mistreats me, I would have just stayed with Xavier and saved us both the stress,".

As soon as the words left my mouth, they hung in the air, harsh and cutting but I didn’t care... Noah took a step backwards as if I had physically struck him. I could see the surprise in his eyes... he winced with anguish.

"Selene... you can’t mean that," he whispered, horrified "After everything we had to go through just to be together? How we fought, broke laws and rules. I fell out with my nephew because I was crazy about his wife..." his voice shook "Then you stand there and say that?"

A flicker of doubt passed over my face as I met his stricken gaze. For an instant, I wavered – tempted to take it all back, to spare him the pain and we’ll probably kiss and make up. But the moment passed as quickly as it came... and my expression hardened once more.

"Can’t I?" I gave a mirthless chuckle. "Since you’re so passionate about your pack and your people and your position... I don’t think you can take care of me... come to think of it... when was the last time we had time for each other? Or when was the last time you put my needs, my well-being and that of my children as top priority? We should be the most important members of the Moon Whisper Pack but guess what..." I laughed "We’re the scorned... might as well demote us to the ranks of Omegas or Deltas,".

Noah opened his mouth as if to say something but closed it again. I could tell he was at a complete loss. He searched my eyes desperately and then I saw recognition flicker in his eyes as he looked at me.

"So," he swallowed hard "All this time... you’ve kept this to yourself?"

"What do you think?" I scoffed. "Are you just realizing how much hurt and resentment you had somehow failed to see building up over time? But I nearly forgot!" my voice took on a sarcastic tone "You were busy running Pack affairs, of course,".

"I’m... I’m so sorry, Selene," he finally managed to say, the words barely above a whisper. The corners of his eyes were red with unshed tears. "You’re right. I’ve been a terrible mate, a terrible partner. I’ll do better, from now on. You’ll be my priority and the girls too... I swear it on my life,".

He tried to reach out to me, as his gaze implored me but I simply shook my head. I was drained, the fight had left my body and had been replaced by a sad resignation.

"It’s too late for that, Noa," I murmured unable to meet his gaze any longer. I was scared that if I looked at him, I would falter and change my mind. "The damage has already been done. Some things are irreparable. So..." I trailed off and summoned the courage to look at him

"Let’s just go our separate ways...".

This chapter is updated by freew(e)bnovel.(c)om