Surviving marriage in yandere world
Chapter 68: System Upgrade: Yandere Synchro Mode

Chapter 68: Chapter 68: System Upgrade: Yandere Synchro Mode

When Rei woke up that morning, he instinctively rolled off the bed and into a pre-dug floor-pillow crater.

A survival reflex, honed from too many mornings involving surprise kisses, accidental bindings, and once—just once—a live marriage priest hiding in his closet.

He groaned, face buried in fluff.

"Maybe today will be different," he mumbled.

The ceiling blinked.

[System Notification: Congratulations! You’ve survived 13.02 days of non-consensual romantic cohabitation.]

[System Update: YANDERE SYNCHRO MODE activated.]

[Patch Notes: All affection targets are now emotionally synchronized. When one feels an emotion, all feel it. Good luck, meat puppet.]

"...Pardon?"

As if summoned by dark magic—or an especially cursed update—five doors in his deluxe honeymoon dungeon suite slammed open at once.

Drakana, Lilia, Seraphina, Rosette, and Lucivella stepped in simultaneously like a synchronized idol group with murder licenses.

Each one held a tray. Each tray had pancakes and each pancake had a pink heart drawn in syrup.

Each girl wore the same expression: lovingly unhinged.

Rei blinked then they all blinked.

He sneezed and they all blushed furiously.

"...No," he whispered.

[System Notification: Emotional Echo Detected.]

[You sneezed. All affection targets now experiencing elevated arousal levels.]

[System Advice: Do not sneeze again. Or breathe or blink seductively.]

Breakfast was a horrifying ballet of unity. The girls moved in perfect harmony—like a five-headed hydra of love and passive-aggressive death threats.

"I made you breakfast, Rei~" Lilia chirped, smiling so hard her eye twitched.

"I did too," Seraphina said sweetly, brushing a glowing anti-venom rune onto her plate with a butter knife.

"I killed a boar with my bare hands and made bacon," Drakana declared proudly.

"Poached your eggs in milk infused with phoenix tears," Lucivella whispered, her eyes gleaming like twin amethysts.

"I watched you sleep for four hours," Rosette said flatly.

Everyone froze.

"...What?" Rosette asked.

Then they all nodded.

"I also watched him sleep," they said in harmony.

Rei stared down at five pancakes. One probably had poison. Another likely contained a love spell. A third... still twitched.

He sighed and stabbed the least vibrating one. They all gasped in synchronized joy. He immediately regretted everything.

[System Notification: Pancake of Passion successfully consumed.]

[Affection +5 for All Targets.]

[Also: Mild gastrointestinal distress.]

Brunch was worse. Seraphina attempted to feed him with a jewel-encrusted spoon.

Lilia insisted on wiping his mouth with a monogrammed napkin made from her hair.

Rosette pulled out a knife labeled "romantic grooming."

Lucivella summoned a harp-playing skeleton bard to play "Ode to Our Wedding Night."

Drakana asked if she could lick the syrup off his fingers "like when we were kids."

Rei quietly wondered if being turned into a pancake himself would be less traumatic.

[System Observation: Emotional resonance has reached dangerous levels.]

[System Prediction: 89% chance of romantic explosion. 64% chance of literal explosion.]

When Rei sneezed again (curse this dungeon pollen), they all simultaneously blushed, leaned forward, and whispered, "Is it hot in here, or just you?"

He flung himself under the table and whispered, "Take me now, sweet unconsciousness."

Lunch was held in the crystal garden. Birds chirped, flowers bloomed and Rei’s sanity wilted.

"I made salad," Lilia said, beaming.

"I made blood pudding," Drakana growled, tossing it like a discus.

"I made memories," Lucivella said cryptically, handing Rei a glass vial labeled "First Kiss (Unfulfilled)."

Rosette handed him a fork and whispered, "Use it for self-defense if you must."

Seraphina raised a toast, declaring, "To our eternal shared husband."

The other girls cheered.

[System Alert: Synchronized delusion engaged.]

[Current State: Group fantasy locked.]

[System Bonus: Rei is now ’Emotionally Married’ to five women. Legally. In three kingdoms.]

He coughed then they all coughed back.

"STOP THAT," he cried.

They giggled.

"STOP GIGGLING."

More giggling then he stood up. Suddenly they all stood up.

He reached for water. They did too.

He tripped. They all tripped—on purpose—and caught him in a collective bridal embrace.

He screamed.

[System Observation: Yandere Synchro Mode is operating at 96% efficiency.]

[Also: You should’ve died yesterday. Just saying.]

By dinner, Rei had accepted his fate.

He wore armor not magical armor but emotional armor.

Also literal armor, made from system-issued dishware duct-taped around his limbs.

He waddled to the dining hall like a terrified tin man.

The table had exactly five thrones placed around him in a heart formation. He was seated in the middle. In a swivel chair.

Each time he spun, a different girl would pop into view with a slightly different but equally terrifying smile.

Lucivella fed him glowing soup labeled "Ambrosia of Forever."

Rosette offered him a toothpick that was also a sword.

Lilia dabbed his mouth while humming their imaginary wedding song.

Seraphina declared, "I moved the blood moon to next Thursday so our kiss will be astrologically perfect."

Drakana showed him a necklace. It was made of his baby teeth.

He screamed internally.

[System Suggestion: Try vomiting. It worked for Odysseus.]

[System Fact: There is no such thing as "too loved." You’re just weak.]

At exactly 11:59 PM, Rei crawled to the bathroom mirror, looked at himself, and whispered, "Still alive."

The mirror responded.

Eris’s reflection stared back at him, munching spicy noodles and sipping wine from a mug that said "WORLD’S BEST CHAOS GODDESS."

"Oh, you look horrible," she said cheerfully. "That synchronized blush moment? Top-tier entertainment. I even sold it to the Divine Drama Channel."

"Help me."

"No."

She tossed popcorn through the mirror. It bounced off his nose.

That night, Rei had a dream, a soft meadow and a gentle breeze with peace.

Then five girls appeared like summoned Final Bosses.

They all said in sync: "Dream Rei, you’re so cute~"

He jolted awake. All five were standing at his bedside.

Rosette held a dream journal. Lucivella held a painter’s easel. Seraphina wore a wedding veil.

Lilia whispered, "I set a 3:33 AM alarm for synchronized longing."

Drakana just hugged him.

He wept not from joy but from resignation.

[System Final Note: YANDERE SYNCHRO MODE is here to stay.]

[Next update: "Synchronized Jealousy" Beta Testing. Probability of knife storm: 87%.]

Rei rolled over, buried his face in the pillow, and said:

"I miss the coma."

Rei didn’t even bother changing positions anymore.

He stayed in bed, face down, blanket clutched like a lifeline, and whispered prayers to every god, demigod, weather spirit, and confused saint who might be listening.

"I’ll join a monastery. I’ll take a vow of silence. Just give me five minutes where I’m not blush-synced to a harem of yandere empresses."

[System Notification: Invalid Request.]

[All known monasteries have been converted into ’Rei Appreciation Shrines.’]

[Also: Rosette donated your baby photos.]

Rei let out a muffled scream then paused. Wait, had he... actually heard himself scream?

Then the blanket was peeled back. Five identical faces leaned in over him, framed like a bouquet of madness.

"Your scream was cute," Lilia said, scribbling something in a notepad titled ’Rei’s Adorable Suffering: Volume II.’

"I rate it 8.7," Seraphina mused. "Needs more despair vibrato."

"Can I record the next one?" Drakana asked.

Lucivella was already holding a crystalline recording orb.

Rosette whispered, "I already memorized the waveform."

Rei’s soul flickered out of his body. For a moment, he floated above the bed like a ghost—only to realize they were all staring lovingly at his astral form too.

He sucked his soul back in like a vacuum.

"Nope."

He flung the blanket over his head and rolled off the bed.

The girls followed him like ducklings imprinted on their mother. Yandere ducklings with combat training.

Rei staggered into the hallway then stopped. The hall was lined with portraits of him.

Winking, Sleeping, Tied up, Being almost-kissed, Running away. All artistically rendered with obsessive care.

One particularly large painting featured Rei as a knight, shirt half-off, cradling all five women like a Renaissance mural of Romance: Apocalypse Edition.

"...I hate art."

[System Note: The east wing has been renamed the ’Love Gallery.’ Admission: One blood pact.]

Rosette was handing out commemorative brochures.

Rei spun around, ready to flee—and collided directly into a wall of plush.

Correction: a custom-made pillow fortress, shaped like a wedding cake, with Rei’s face on every layer.

A banner above read: "Happy 13.02 Days of Cohabitation!"

"Surprise!" Lilia clapped, summoning confetti.

"We designed it together," Lucivella smiled.

"I sewed the cursed thread that binds us," Seraphina added proudly.

"I filled the pillows with feathers plucked from my own cloak," Drakana declared.

"I replaced the stuffing in two with survival knives," Rosette said helpfully. "Guess which."

[System Event: Surprise Party Unlocked!]

[Achievement Unlocked: "Suffocated by Devotion."]

[Reward: Trauma.]

Rei sat down on the nearest ottoman-shaped version of his own face and stared at the ceiling.

The ceiling stared back literally.

A glowing sigil of Eris was blinking down at him, winking in 3-second intervals.

"Hi again," the goddess’s voice echoed softly. "Quick poll! If all five wives stab each other over you, who do you save first?"

Rei sobbed.

Eris laughed.

[System Query: Favorite Wife?]

[Options: Yes | All | Die]

He jabbed "Die" with his finger.

[Input Accepted. Processing...]

[Just Kidding.]

"Okay," Rei muttered, rising to his feet. "I’m done. I’m going to the bathroom. ALONE."

They parted like the red sea of obsession, giving him just enough space to wobble into the luxurious gold-and-marble water closet.

He locked the door then turned on the tap. He stared into the mirror.

Then—

A knock.

"Rei~?" Lilia’s voice purred sweetly. "Just wanted to remind you we share everything now."

"EVERYTHING," the others chimed in chorus.

[System Update: Bathroom Privacy Disabled.]

[System Tip: Crying in the tub may prevent spontaneous ’Group Bath Events.’]

Rei flushed the toilet even though he hadn’t used it.

Just to feel in control but It didn’t work.

He pressed his head against the cold tile wall and whispered the sacred mantra of the cursed:

"Please let this be the filler arc..."

Outside the door, five women waited patiently. In complete silence. Each holding identical embroidered towels.

They all hummed the same wedding tune with Perfect harmony, Perfect horror and Perfect love.

[System Note: Synchronization Level: 100%]

[Achievement Unlocked: Collective Madness – Harem Edition]

Rei slumped and sobbed.

And muttered, "I miss that time the dungeon tried to eat me. At least it didn’t blush when I sneezed."

To be continued...