Sleeping With The CEO -
Chapter 138: Wrong Words
Chapter 138: Wrong Words
It should have been an easy thing to just get out of the car, go into the diner and apologize. He had done the majority of the work by driving all the way to the diner. All he had to do now was go in but Derek was stuck in his car, staring at the diner, still a block away from it.
He kept trying to think of the right words to say, words that would fit the situation, a sentence, maybe a phrase that would tie everything up neatly and present it to Emily in a way in which she would be able to easily forgive him. But the apology would not come. He could not think of a single thing to say, that would sum everything up nicely.
Zip, zilch, nada.
His mind was blank, and the longer it remained blank, the more Derek began to panic.
He was getting desperate. What if he could not think of something to say? And Emily’s shift ended with him still stuck in his car. Fear keeping him bound. What if when he went in there, whatever it is that he had to say was just a waste of time?
What if it was so bad, Emily just heard the first few words out of his mouth and immediately pointed to the door, threatening him with something to get him to leave.
What if she had the numerous police officers whom Derek had seen frequenting the place escort him out? What if she reported him to the diner management and got him banned from the diner? CEO of Haven Group banned from a diner? The press would have a field day.
But Derek was quickly realizing that even if the press were to find out, he did not care. What he cared about was Emily knowing that not only was he sorry, but that he was also not some pervert that she needed to be afraid of.
And in his mind it was as simple as that. But when he opened his mouth, still in the confines of the car and tried to practice exactly what he would say. What came out was not worthy of somebody who was the CEO of Haven Group.
"I am sorry I lied. Now will you please sleep with me?" He cringed and tried to come up with something else.
"Come share my bed so that I can sleep," He had to supress a wince at that. Why was this so hard? Negotiations were something that he did on a daily basis. So why was he struggling now, when he need his speaking skills the most?
"Sleeping with you would be the answer to all of my problems. You would be the ultimate sleeping companion,"
Those were the phrases that kept popping up when Derek was trying to rehearse his apology. No matter how good it started off, he always seemed to say something awkward in the middle of it, something that he knew if he were to repeat in front of Emily, most likely this time he would be waking up in hospital with two black eyes.
It should have been easy for him to do, coming up with a proper explanation for Emily. Especially since his intentions towards her were pure. But somehow, it was the most difficult task of Derek’s life. And the longer it took him to come up with something, the more anxious he became, his desperation growing by the minute.
And that was not a good thing at all. Lack of sleep and mounting anxiety were never a good combination. Were he anywhere else, Derek would have noticed the signs before things got out of hand.
As it were, when he began to feel a churning feeling in his gut, he dismissed it, thinking that it was just nerves. But then came the tingling feeling in his hands and feet, and that got his attention. But by then it was too late. His chest was already closing up, and Derek found himself clinging tightly to the steering wheel, struggling to breathe.
An anxiety attack gripping him full force and refusing to let go of him. Sitting there in his car struggling to breathe, every single lungful of air that he took in, being fought for, hard, Derek felt as though nothing would ever be right in the world.
Why was he even there, fighting, trying to get Emily to understand that he had meant no harm? Nothing mattered. Why should he care about that? Why should he care about what she thought of him? He should just go home, curl up in a ball, and wait for the lack of sleep to kill him.
Would it be so bad for him to just let it take him?
His thoughts swelled around a tornado of negativity and all he could do was just sit there, swept up in the storm. Tossed this way and that, his mind a battle field.
Derek had no idea how long he spent slumped over like that. But bit by bit he clawed himself out of the depths of despair. Painstakingly digging himself out of the hole that he had dug himself into unintentionally.
It was a slow, painful process, but eventually he managed to get his breathing under control. Taking in deep breaths, holding them and then letting them out, slowly but surely, bit by bit.
The breathing exercise helped to calm him.
Soon, the feeling of pins and needles in his hands and feet went away, and the churning of his stomach receded until finally Derek could sit up. Wiping cold sweat from his brow, he took a few more steady breaths.
Right, he decided, looking at his bloodshot eyes in the mirror. He could not go on like this. He had already done the first part in apologizing to Emily, even if it had ended badly. Now he just had to finish things. Go in there and say what he needed to say.
If she was still offended at the end of it, then he would at least know that he had given it his best shot.
Clinging to that thought, Derek pushed the car door open and stepped outside.
He had an apology to give, a proper one this time.
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