Sleeping With The CEO
Chapter 103: Walking Wounded

Chapter 103: Walking Wounded

It was just after two o’clock in the morning, most people had long gone home, and were now far away in dream land. But that was not the case for one Derek Haven.

He was wide awake in his top floor office. The view from the window was spectacular, but he did not see it, and even if had, he would not have had it in him to enjoy it. Derek did not enjoy anything any more, the lack of sleep had slowly, but surely robbed him of that ability.

Which was why so early in the morning, or late at night, depending on who you asked, Derek was still awake, stuck at his desk at work, and staring at a his computer screen without really seeing it. On the few occasions when something did make it through to him, he could not even understand it. All that he saw was letters jumbled up, and graphs, and pie charts that did not make any sense.

He wanted so very badly to just shut down the machine and go home, to be able to sleep. But there was none of that for him. Emily’s first designated time off coming to an end( the time off that he had lied about in the first place) had really brought it home for him.

She was gone and she was never coming back. And that hurt to acknowledge, more than something that was strictly business had any right to. And along with that pain had come something else that Derek had not expected at all.

The stress of losing Emily had made his sleeping problems worse. He had gone from around an hour or so of sleep if he was lucky, to just around twenty minutes on good days, and there were so few of those. In fact he’d had only one good day ever since he had told the lie about Emily extending her time off.

When he had initially told the lie, it had been because he could not bear the thought of admitting, even to himself that Emily was never coming back. But in lying again, he had accidentally shot himself in the foot.

This time, he knew for a fact that Emily truly was not coming back. Wherever she was, as far as she knew, her window period to come back had ended the week before. She did not know she still had a chance to come back, and that meant that she would not.

It was an awful feeling, he wanted to go looking for her and tell her that the door was still open for her. But that would have been selfish of him. Besides, she was probably well on her way to forgetting all about him now. There was no need to go looking for her only to have her frown and look at him as though she were trying to place him.

So Derek was carrying on, wounded, but still dragging himself along.

Her work had been divided up amongst some PAs from other departments. The day to day of his office life being left up to them. It was a solution proposed by Padma, no doubt she was tired of all the hiring and firing. She had devided that the PAs could handle a bit of extra work for two weeks. And Derek, who was tired of the emotional whiplash that came with dealing with so many personalities had readily agreed.

But he was tired, a part of him wanted to just come out and tell the truth to say that she was not coming back. But an even bigger part of him. The part that was cowardly stayed quiet. Which was why he was in his predicament in the first place. He could not sleep because he worried constantly, he could not eat, his head hurt, his body hurt, everything hurt, but there was nothing for him to do but endure.

So that was exactly what he was doing, enduring. Shutting the laptop with more force than was needed, Derek stood. He felt like pacing, but he did not have the energy for that, just getting up hurt, so instead, he slowly walked over to the windows. Looking over at the lit up buildings Derek felt like the last man on Earth. Moving closer, he caught a look of himself in the glass.

It was like once he had come to terms with the fact that Emily was never coming back. Je had given up on himself, and his grooming had suffered for it. He still showered every morning, but that was more to wake himself up more than anything else. The cold water doing nothing for his sunken, bruised eyes. His custom made suits were now fitting him a bit loosely, though it was not yet noticeable to other people.

But when it came to the ill-fitting suit, he could at least explain it away as being because he had skipped more meals than was good for him, not because he had lost pride in his personal appearance.

But there was no explaining away the beard that had sprouted over night. He looked like a ruffian, someone more at home in a cheap dive bar than in an office. The new look was eons away from the well put together image that he loved to project.

It was a wonder no one had commented on it yet. No doubt they though that he was trying out a new look, the beard was bushy, but not yet in the wild forest phase. Which it would soon reach if he did not do anything about it. But he could not be bothered to care.

Pretty soon, the comments would start coming, his uncle would definitely enjoy Derek’s slow decline. Just the thought of the man thinking he was superior to him, almost stirred something in Derek. It almost made him one to fight again, but he was tired. He was so very tired. What was the use of fighting without Emily by his side? Of all the people in the company, he had spent the most time with her. She had seen his struggles, and had still stayed with him, quietly helping him along. But she was not there any more, and never would be again. All because he, being his selfish self, had worked her to the point of being overstress without even realising it. Deciding that enough was enough, Derek grabbed his things and decided to call it quits.

As expected the city was still alive, still vibrant despite how late it was. People walking the streets, cars zooming from here to there. Their music loud, the base pumping. Just regular every day people enjoying their lives. But Derek might as well had been put in an invisible container away from all of them. The grey cloud of sorrow that had taken the joy out of everything continuing to follow him.

Even as he moved through the streets it did not lift, and Derek did not try to pretend that it was not there. Were he headed to the manor, he would have at least tried to look happier, but he was not, he was going to his penthouse. He would have loved to say that his change in residence was a plan to make sure his mother did not see him looking so messed up.

But it was not.

He was just too tired to make the long drive now, so he had told his mother that he had work that required his presence in the city. If his mother were to see him as he was now, she would know instantly that something was wrong.

Driving through the streets, Derek found himself hoping that he had a little bit of time before she caught on.

He did not want her worrying over something that he had done to himself.