SILVER-HEART
Chapter 37: Chaotic Thoughts

Chapter 37: Chaotic Thoughts

"Come closer"

I gulped hard and the mere sound echoed in my ears and caused a sensation to strike my body, it caused butterflies in my stomach and a deep shiver to run through me, the sensation was just too strong and I felt odd like a strange feeling was settling between my legs. Was I bewitched? I didn’t feel weird or anything, just a certain urge to get closer to him no matter what... and so I took the first step and before I knew it I was walking towards him with a thumping heartbeat... I didn’t like this but it was what my body mysteriously wanted.

"I-I wasn’t spying," I said quickly before he got the wrong idea. Has he not already? Maybe I should add something more convincing... "I was..." I trailed as my eyes scanned the shelf close to us, I quickly picked a book. "Looking for a book to read, master"

He said nothing, his silence was unnerving because I felt like I was caught in a trap, I can’t exactly tell what he was thinking, and I can’t even see his facial expressions... there was nothing for me to read.

I leveled my gaze holding the book tightly to my chest. It was at the tip of my tongue now, I mentally scolded myself not to say it but I couldn’t help it "Are you avoiding me?" I bluntly asked what I have been eating me up. My grip on the book I held tightened, I just noticed how big it was.

"Avoiding?"

I quickly raised my trembling gaze, the sudden realization was unnerving, the thought of him avoiding me didn’t sit well with me. I wonder why...

"I’m a busy man," he said in a simple tone.

My lips pressed in a thin line. Maybe I was overthinking it, my brain was messing with me again. "Of course, master. I’m sure you must be busy right now, I should let you work, I have books to read" I said, turning on my heels.

"I’m sure your studies are going well"

I halted but I already had my back facing him. "Y-Yes quite well, Severus is a good teacher"

"Hmm your pronunciations are getting better"

I blushed.

"Tell me are you that eager to broaden your insights in every way possible"

I faced him but I had a skeptical expression on my face mostly because I pondered why he asked when he clearly knew that was the case with my studies. "Y-Yes?"

He tilted his head to the side and I got a strong feeling that he was smirking right now or was it just my imagination?

"Interesting, tell me... what gained your attention?" he nudged his head and I followed, leveling my eyes to the big book I held. What was he talking about exactly? I unveiled the front of the black book, with golden writing and illustration.

What first caught my attention was the illustration, I tilted my head to the side pondering what it meant and then I saw it, it was two figures... kissing? Wait... I moved my ardent eyes to the heading. ’Ways Of Pleasure’

Huh?

"Maybe you should be more cautious with the book you intend to read, Ava"

I snapped my wide eyes at him, my cheeks tainting pink. "I-It was not my intention... I-" I gasped when he closed the distance between us.

"If you’re interested in such things you should have told me" He leaned to me until our faces were mere inches apart. He sounds very amused now.

I raised the book and blocked his face from mine, looking to the side.

The heat on my face was too much and my brain felt like it was about to explode. What should I do? I chanted in my head. This escalated more than I could bear, I just had to randomly pick a book and it turned out to be something uncivilized.

I felt hands grab my waist and I gasped when I was suddenly lifted off my feet, William picked me up and I looked down at him with a shocked expression, my hand settled on his shoulders along with the book. What just happened?

"You ended up making the past few days chaotic for me" he stated out of the blue.

"C-Chaotic?"

"Did I offend you when I said we should consummate?"

Huh? Wait... he thought about my actions for days? Was that what he meant by chaotic?

"You were avoiding me because of it" This wasn’t a question.

"Yes," he answered with hesitance.

"Is that why you ask Severus to teach me?"

"Yes"

There was a minute of silence.

"I want to understand you, Ava, you confuse me"

"I-I’m not a book"

"Aren’t all creatures books filled with many volumes? Pages that actually signify or represent the memories which we live in our life and also the ones which we will be living in the future. Each page is like a new Chapter and a new start to every refreshing beginning in life"

Maybe we all are like books, I must have misunderstood him.

"You’re like a mystery book"

He tilted his head to the side. "Why do you think that?"

"I-I can’t have a decent conversation like this, doesn’t your hands hurt?"

"No"

"B-But it makes me uncomfortable"

I was brought down instantly... but that was a lie on my part. I just couldn’t feel any less embarrassed and I needed to cool my cheeks. I gulped looking up at him, I was certain he had his eyes on me.

"You wear a mask... and it’s like a wall and it’s scary" I mumbled.

"I have a reason for my mask, Ava"

"T-Then do you have a scar or a disease?"

"None of that"

I opened my mouth to ask another but I know William will probably change the topic again.

"You’re like a blank shell void of emotions," I said before I could stop myself.

"You define me well Ava"

"But you do care sometimes... don’t you?"