SILVER-HEART
Chapter 140: I Never Existed In Your World

Chapter 140: I Never Existed In Your World

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Crystal green eyes sucked me in and I forgot to breathe, I forgot about everything else, even the world existed and I had eyes for the man before me, his mask shattered and all I could see was all parts of him, parts of him that didn’t lay strong, parts of him that laid cracked, crushing into pieces as his emotions blurred all over like the world was ceasing to exist in every minute.

Like everything was crashing down in his eyes and yet he cannot hold the pieces of it no matter how much he tried to hold them, but they were still meant to crumble and fall.

And I just stood there, watching the man I love to break into a showering mess with a single tear that slide down his cheeks, I knew for a fact I have been unconscious for days and barely had a heartbeat, but this wasn’t a tear of joy that struck him, but a tear of realization. A tear... knowing what would unfold and what he cannot accept. The inevitability.

He knows I’m going away

"Ava" a single mention of my name from his quaking voice and his broken tone got my heart splitting into million of pieces, I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what to say for if it was in my power I would stop it and it breaks me because I can’t, I can’t have my wish to be with him, I cannot, I cannot keep my promise, I was a sorry excuse of a wife who was about to break her husbands slow beating heart. Who was about to crash his world into no return.

I was about to bring everything down.

"I know who I am" I began and it was a failed attempt to sound strong, I was breaking with every breath I took. I cannot be strong, I wasn’t strong enough to do this but I had to. "I know everything" The tears I was trying so hard to hold back fell down my cheeks silently. My sobs echo in the room. I looked down at my glowing body and sniffed. "I-I don’t have much time left"

"N-No" he shook his head, like a child refusing to believe any words said, the pain bursting and he looked at me like I was a liar. Like what I was about to say wasn’t true and yet it was happening right before his eyes but he didn’t want to believe nor accept anything I have to say, he didn’t want it to be the reality. OUR reality, but it has been doomed from the start, it was never meant to happen and yet it did, it happened with him but to no end. There was never an end or a future.

It was just a bubble we were both stuck in the entire time.

"I cannot stop it Will, I-I can’t" I closed my eyes as the hot tears streamed down hotly and my breath shuddered. "I cannot exist in your world any longer, my time has always been limited, I’m not part of your world and-"

"Do. Not. Say. That. To. My. Face" he seethed word for one, looking angry and yet so broken like the place will come apart from his exploding emotions, my body couldn’t feel anything right now but I knew the temperature had dropped, his aura eating away at his emotions bit by bit and gradually destroying him.

"Do not look at me like that... do not look at me like you would never see me again, do not-" he couldn’t even finish because his breath convulsed. "Don’t..." More fell, tears. William Basker Darkmore was breaking like the only thing holding him was destroyed right before his eyes.

I was destroying him and I can’t stop it.

"I..." his breath hitched. "I love you till eternity Ava, Fuck I don’t even want to use that word because to me it is meaningless, even words can’t comprehend how much space you have taken in this slow beating heat" he pointed to his chest. "None of it can measure up to how much of my world you have taken and devoured, none of it can describe how much of a world you hold in my place, it cannot explain the capture you have taken in this body, none of it can"

"William" my lips quivered.

"Say this is a dream... say this is just temporary, say it to my face!"

I shook my head, closing my eyes and sobbing. "I’m not your mate, I never was" I couldn’t even open my eyes for I was afraid of the look he might have on me, a look that will crush me further, but I needed to tell him, let him know how much of my existence was never here. "I was never yours, I was never your fairy, for eternity I have been bound to someone else and not you" And I let myself open my eyes and it felt like a part of me died.

William looked frozen in time, a mix of shock, confusion, and a storm of pain that made my body and my lip quiver, His now red eyes from the cause of the silent tears that stream down his cheeks nonstop.

He still didn’t want to believe my words.

"W-What are you-"

"Even if I wanted to stay and be by you I can’t, I cannot, I...I cannot give you the family you deserve I cannot give you love"

"Ava, you have given me everything I never thought I could have," he said breathlessly. "You gave me your smile," a smile pressed on his lips showing me just how much it means to him, "Your breathing, your voice, your body, you gave me your entirety just as much as I gave you mine. And now you say we were never meant to be together? That you never meant to exist in my world? Ava you exist in my entire being, I choose you as my fairy as much as I choose you as my wife, I choose the imperfections, I choose your true self. And yet you tell me you’re bound to someone else?"

"It was never supposed to be this way, I want you William, I want everything, the little girl you pictured with my eyes running around the library, I choose everything with you but I can’t... I can’t" I cried.

I wanted it so bad just as breathing, I wanted his touch each and every day I woke up, I wanted the little girl he wanted, I wanted that future, but it was a future that was doomed and blackened with no light.

I was running out of time and yet it felt like my entire world was about to end. With a sharp breath, I walked to him and my body floated as the last of me was being erased, erased out of his existence as it was meant to be, the balance needed to be kept or everything will crumble even William’s world, he would never get the chance to see his family, he will never find the happiness he has been deprived of ever since he was born. If I stay his world will crumble, and everything will cease meaning if I don’t be by Aldon side and keep the balance we were meant to preserve.

As yin and yang our balance must be preserved because of our intertwined destinies. Holding a bit of myself as it erased, I still wanted to reach him before it was too late. I had to, I had to reach even if it was the last breath of energy I still had here. My tears spilled in droplets as I moved to him.

He stood as still as a wall and I placed my already erasing hands on his cheeks, but I couldn’t even feel him anymore.

"I love you, my handsome fox" and I sealed our lips together. It was the only thing I got to feel and I was glad, our lips dancing for the last time, I felt his grip on my head further deepening in the kiss and we let it consume us, taking everything in a single breath. Savoring every taste we had to offer...

For the last time

For what we had

For it was more realer than anything I have ever felt in my entire life

I pulled away and his eyes remained closed. If only I can be in his memory but unfortunately just as I’m being erased to go back to my people he won’t even have the faintest idea who I was for I never existed in his world.

My energy was depleted and I was gone away from his hold, his touch, his heart, and his memories.

For the last time, the last of me roamed the library I considered home, seeing a paused version of Elvenia in the kitchen, seeing Severus in the library, and seeing Sophia in the garden.

I wandered to the entrance and I remembered my first day here, scared and covered in William’s coat as I met everyone for the first time. When he first brought me to the bath, demanding I stripped so that he would cleanse me. The dining room filled with food and William reading his book with his mask on, other times we spent together flashed before my eyes as every last of me was erased.

When he tasted my horrible cooking, our picnic together, and how he saved my life, how he succumbed to his emotions not knowing how to deal with it, how he called me his fairy when he professed his feelings to me and asked me to be his wife and promise to be by his side forever.

And just like that Ava Darkmore was no more.