Shades of Blue (Omegaverse BL)
Chapter 82 - 80 | His Fault

Chapter 82: 80 | His Fault

Blue was angry for so many reasons. The first one was that he hadn’t punched Preston once before he died. He hadn’t beaten up the man properly at least once.

The second reason was that Blue didn’t get to see him on his deathbed. He didn’t get to tell him ’fuck you’ or ’have a bad time in Hell’. Those would have been top class parting words.

Blue was annoyed that he didn’t get to laugh last at Preston’s face. He didn’t get to watch the man welcome death in fear and horror.

Blue wondered how Preston looked before he died. He hoped it was pitiful and miserable. That would be the only true justice in the world.

***

"Blue, I came back as soon as I heard the news. Are you okay?" Winter was breathing heavily as he walked into his house and saw Blue lying down on the floor in a weird way.

He had thought that Blue must have been crying hard, but once he reached Blue and flipped him around, he realized that Blue had been sleeping hard instead!

"What the fuck..." Winter muttered to himself in confusion.

That was when Blue slowly pried his eyes open, waking up from sleep. His eyes were red and there were sleeping lines on his face.

Blue looked a little disoriented when he said to Winter, "Hey..."

Winter hugged Blue tightly, assuming that Blue’s voice was low because he had cried himself to sleep.

"I’m so sorry. I wish I was here with you. I shouldn’t have left you alone. I’m sorry." Winter spoke with a sincere tone, comforting Blue.

Blue was puzzled for a while, allowing Winter to pet him and apologize to him. It was only after Winter said the words, "My parents will be your parents, don’t worry. I won’t let you feel like an orphan", that Blue remembered his father was dead.

That was even when he realized that he had now become an orphan. Blue’s mother had died when he was just two years old. The only thing he knew about her was that she was female Omega and used to be a famous singer before getting married to Preston.

Blue had never known her well and had never tried to seek comfort in her music or watch any videos of her. He’d only known his father. And having such a father had been the greatest source of sadness in his life.

However, he was an orphan now. No father, no mother.

This hard reality was finally hitting Blue. Preston had never been a good father to him, but he was still a father nonetheless. Blue started feeling strange.

"... I’m here for you, okay?" Blue was brought back to reality when he heard Winter say those words.

He quickly waved Winter off and said, "It’s fine. You don’t have to worry about me. The man’s death is joyful news."

Winter looked at Blue as though he was some crazy serial killer. However, Blue only stood up from the floor and stretched his body.

"He deserved to die. Don’t go around comforting me and trying to make it seem as if I care. I don’t." Blue said to Winter with a firm tone.

Winter was at a loss for words. Surely, this wasn’t the way people acted when they lost their parents, was it? Winter was aware that Blue wasn’t on good terms with his family. But he never knew the situation was so serious that Blue would regard his father’s death as something to be happy about.

Winter could only rise up from the floor and block Blue’s path as the latter had begun to make his way to the room.

"Blue, you shouldn’t say such things. I know you’re hurting—"

"Ha!" Blue cackled over Winter’s words. "Hurting how? Hurting where? Do I look like someone who’s hurting? Don’t say funny things, Winter." There was amusement laced in Blue’s voice.

Winter still pressed on, saying, "I don’t believe that you’re totally fine. Even if you guys had issues when he was alive, that man was still your father. It’s okay to feel sad. It’s okay to miss him."

"Let me get something straight with you," Blue said with no trace of amusement in his tone. "You have no idea the kind of issues I had with Preston Kent. You are in no place to lecture me or make me feel as if I owe it to him to be sad.

"Do you understand me?" Blue paused. "That man has done nothing, absolutely nothing, to deserve my shedding tears for him at the news of his death. And if I should in fact shed tears, they would be of joy. Because no one deserves to die as much as that man."

"You see this?" Blue gestured to his entire body, then turned around and showed Winter the back of his neck. "You see this pheromone disorder I have? It’s his fault."

Winter’s jaw loosened after hearing those words. He opened his mouth to ask how, but Blue was already telling him.

"You know my hatred for Alphas? It’s due to the things he exposed me to. Anything I am today, any spiteful way I act or hateful way I carry myself and look at the world, it’s his fault. It’s his fault that I got to see the real world for what it was much earlier than I was supposed to.

"It’s his fault that I never knew what looking at life through rose-colored glasses ever felt like despite being born into wealth. It’s his fault that I see an Alpha and the first thing that comes to my mind is, ’Disgusting’. It’s his fault that I hate myself and will continue to hate myself because I know more of myself than anyone would ever get to know.

"I know how unfortunate it is being me and have never been able to be happy for being who I am. Everything that’s wrong with me today can be traced to the effects of his actions on my life. So don’t stand there and make it seem like he deserves sympathy.

"You know nothing about him. In fact, you know nothing about me

. So fucking keep your opinions and reassurance to yourself. I don’t need them." Blue ended his venting, breathing heavily.

He and Winter stood without saying anything afterwards. The tension in the air was so thick that it seemed to be restricting both of their movements. And when they finally came to, Blue said, "Forget about everything I said."

Without giving Winter a chance to understand where he was coming from, Blue picked up his phone and walked out of the house.

"Blue! Blue! Blue!" Winter continuously called out to Blue, but he was ignored as Blue never so much as glanced back before slamming the door loudly after taking a step out.

"Fuck..." Winter extended a cuss, wondering how and why things had escalated so fast when he had approached Blue with good intentions.

Winter placed his hand on his waist and took a look around his house.

There were no traces of Blue ever being here. If not that he could still feel the heaviness of Blue’s words resounding in mind, Winter would have thought that he was just hallucinating and that Blue had never been to his house.

Winter wished that he hadn’t opened his loud mouth and irritated Blue. But it wasn’t his fault. He didn’t know that the issue between Blue and his family ran so deep.

Deep to the point that Preston was the one responsible for inducing Blue’s pheromone disorder. But how? What kind of actions had Preston taken against Blue to prompt such a thing?

Winter couldn’t understand. Winter was afraid to understand. For his own father to be the cause of his hatred for Alphas, Winter believed it was way beyond a serious issue.

Could it be that...

"No, no, no." Winter shook off the thought that came to his mind, then pulled out his phone to call Blue. The thought suddenly hooked him again.

Blue’s family was made up of Alphas. He was the only Omega. For him to hate Alphas, what had they been doing to him? What had his father been doing to him?

Winter tried to shake off the idea that Blue had been molested by his own father in his teenage years, but he couldn’t get it out of his mind. What if...

With the way Blue emphasized his hatred for Alphas and his father, could it be that his father had been forcing himself on him while he was young, distorting Blue’s image of Alphas?

The more Winter thought of it, the more plausible it seemed. And the more he was frightened.

If Blue had truly gone through such a thing, Winter would be at a loss for actions. How would he be able to help Blue overcome such a thing?

And why could he only think of helping Blue through his problems instead of abandoning Blue because of his problems?