Reincarnated into a Snow Griffin
Chapter 40

Chapter 40: Chapter 40

I did not even taste the food, almost choked on it even a few times with little to no attention I was paying at it past the angry veil his words caused on me, gritting my teeth in pain that the slight movement of sitting up brought me, and yet the grip on the spoon is strong as I forced the food down, wild thoughts playing in my mind, proving to be a stable company at that point.

Killing myself? Me? No way I’m going to do that, no matter how frightening the future may seem, how things are rough now and how they will only get harder from now on for the mere thought of leaving mother behind, of not only losing her forever but to let her stay under the paws of that lion fueled me with determination one more, and I was not giving up that easily, no way at all.

Being depressed and resentful for all the things I lost, for all the kicks life has given me thus far, to be angry about the unfairness of it all would do nothing to make things better, it would do jack shit in helping save my mother.

Unless I used it to push me forward, always forward, and staying put like this, lamenting like a lost child, has only infuriated me even more with my own weakness, for giving in so easily, for... everything, for everything being just... too much.

So even though I could not move about just yet, that my body felt heavy all over and in constant pain, I still tried to brighten up enough to at least take care of myself, to at least keep myself alive a little longer, until I could fix everything.

Or die trying.

That’s why, once the food is gone, I slowly lay back down and close my eyes and, beyond my expectations and even with the blood flowing warm and fast in my veins, fall asleep right away, dead tired with a heavy heart and mind, finding no peace in my slumber.

Time can heal many wounds, but it is needed to fester it as well.

So for a while that’s how things go, I would eat and my full tired body would demand sleep right away, and the boy would be going back and forth, inside and outside the cave, and still feverish and weak it was hard for me to tell day from night, much less keep a close eye on him, and when the day was hot enough he would warm some water for me to clean up, the process very painful and slow but even though he insisted on staying and helping out there was a limit of just how much I could lose, and my pride still holds tight, even if full of cracks on it, and having him do everything already, from changing my bandages to the food was already humiliating as is, but not being able to clean by myself is just on another level, as silly and stubborn as it sounds, so I would wash all by myself, no matter how slow the process ended up being.

But once the hours awake start growing more and more, and I start recovering enough to feel boredom, I start observing like I always do, with big owl eyes mother would say.

With so much free time and barely anything to do in my condition, and wanting to get away from my own confused mind and avoiding thinking at all to fall down that pit again, I end up paying more and more attention to the masked boy and our surroundings.

Only to realize that I did not know anything at all regarding this savior of mine, from his face hidden behind the mask, to his reasons for saving and taking care of me, to even something as simple as his name, and yet had eaten the food he gives and slept in his company, completely at his mercy.

That’s just how out of my mind I am currently... or just how desperate the situation is at the moment.

But maybe craziness would be a blessing in my current state, because I was too lucid and aware of the situation I am at.

That my mother is at.

That manages to steal my breath away... And it still would may years to come.