Reborn as a Mind-Reading Empress
Chapter 920: It was Painful to Lie

Chapter 920: Chapter 920: It was Painful to Lie

Ferdinand, Raymond, and Alvis all pondered what Alwin could be hiding that he would lie to them like this.

[Is it also something he cannot tell us yet?] Ferdinand thought, glancing at Arabella.

’I’m so sorry, Ferdinand. I wanted to tell you everything, but I cannot,’ Arabella felt a pang of pain in her chest.

She understood it must be difficult for Ferdinand, not knowing what she was hiding from him, but he still chose to be patient and give her time.

It was the same for Alwin this time.

[Please, forgive me.

This is for your happiness, my lord.

I won’t allow the past to happen again, no matter what.

I’m so sorry for lying to you like this.]

It was painful for Alwin to lie, but he must do it for now.

Arabella understood how he felt. She had also felt it all those times she had to lie to Ferdinand.

It wasn’t easy. But they had to. For now, at least.

"I see..." Ferdinand noticed Alwin lied, but let it go.

Raymond and Alvis did as well, but they did not question further.

"How did you feel while you were unconscious?" Raymond inquired.

It was Raymond’s turn to ask this time as Ferdinand pondered why Alwin had to lie instead of just telling them the truth as he used to do.

[Why is he asking about it?]

Alwin wondered if he should answer honestly or not. However, it was obvious on his face.

"Answer honestly and tell us in detail," Raymond gave a warning look.

[Was it too obvious on my face?!!]

"I-I had splitting headaches and my body felt like it was on fire.

It also felt like countless long nails were impaling my entire body over and over again," Alwin replied.

[And I constantly had vivid dreams about the past.]

Alwin held back this last bit.

[I knew it!

We should have healed him fully.

How could we let him suffer in pain when we could have just healed him?!]

Alvis gritted his teeth at the thought.

Raymond remained stern and said, "That is what it’s like when you push your body too much.

Recovery potions are not supposed to be taken in quick succession.

It’s also life-threatening.

We taught you about that, did we not?

Yet, you still did it anyway.

Right after performing forbidden spells as well and sacrificing your mana cores."

"..." Alwin remained silent.

"You would have felt worse if there was no antidote for the poison or we did not have your body build a resistance against it over the years," Raymond explained.

"I’m sorry. I won’t cause trouble again," Alwin apologized, and Raymond seemed to snap.

[Trouble? Is he not even thinking about the pain he felt?!]

After all, they did not heal Alwin immediately for him to feel the pain and understand why he should not do it again.

And yet, Alwin did not seem to mind the pain he experienced.

"We are not asking for your apology!

Do you even understand what could have happened to you if you did it in enemy territory?!" Raymond asked in a louder voice.

Arabella thought Alvis would interrupt, but the latter didn’t since he also shared the sentiment.

[Ah, I raised my voice!]

Raymond covered his face with a hand and sighed deeply.

Ferdinand took over since Raymond lost his cool.

"Alwin, I understand why you saved the lady despite the risk and what it cost you.

I would have done the same in that situation.

You did well saving her," Ferdinand said, and Alwin perked up.

"However..."

Alwin braced himself when he heard the next word.

"You must remember that you cannot simply use forbidden spells or your mana cores again.

Those spells were forbidden because of their possible harmful effects to the caster and the high risk of rebound in case of failure.

I know you have already created more mana cores recently.

However, it doesn’t mean you can use them whenever.

Using mana cores includes risks, even death, which is why they were prohibited from being used unless absolutely necessary.

One mistake and you could have died," Ferdinand reiterated, hoping Alwin would understand why they were concerned.

[I know.

But I was sure I would succeed because I already knew the procedure.

I just pretended to learn it anew, so I have a reason to tell them after I use it.]

’He did?!’

Arabella learned from Alwin’s thoughts that he approached Elrond to learn about the forbidden spells he used.

It was to have a way of explaining why he knew about the spells even when his elders ensured he never heard about them.

[Why doesn’t he look like he’s the least bit terrified of dying?!

He’s still young, so there’s no way he already feels the way we primordials did after living for too long...

Or was it because he finds no meaning and satisfaction in what he’s doing now?

Is there something he wanted to do, and we did not allow him?!]

Ferdinand was alarmed at the look on Alwin’s face.

Alvis and Raymond were shocked as well.

Alwin being reckless because he had been safe in Estrella was one thing. However, being unfazed by the thought of death, for someone they perceived to still be very young, it horrified them.

[Had he found no meaning in all the years he lived with us?] Raymond thought.

[Does he not long to stay alive because his parents are dead?

Is this why he was reckless?!] Alvis wondered nervously.

"Alwin, do you find no meaning in living here?

Are you not satisfied with your current standing?

Is there something you want to do that you cannot do here?" Ferdinand inquired.

"!!!" Alwin was wide-eyed at the questions. "Not at all, Your Majesty.

I am very much satisfied living here and in my current post.

I can do everything I want here as well."

"Are you sure?" Ferdinand observed Alwin.

"Yes, Your Majesty," Alwin quickly responded.

[Shouldn’t he be more alarmed about hearing about his possible death than this?]

[Why does this alert him more than his death?]

Alwin’s elders were frustrated with his skewed interests and priorities.