Mrs Fox Heinous Revenge: Can You Love A Villainess like Me?
Chapter 141: Therapy Candles

Chapter 141: Therapy Candles

It was normal for someone to protect a better looking egg than a cracked one, isn’t it?

That’s the same as the current situation. AiLin wouldn’t let someone else to die instead of her, not when they deserve a future.

Riding back home, her eyes were hazy as she stared at the sky outside. The entire world was dark and she always loved the moonlight. The darkness of a night sky was her best comfort. She could feel as if she was finally in control of herself again whenever the night dusk the sky. Times to times, she thought she had healed but there were times when she realized that she wasn’t healed at all.

A part of her was broken and that part couldn’t ever be fixed no matter how much she tried to mend it. A chipped heart, a ruined body, and an ugly personality. What about this woman in the window’s reflection that wasn’t ugly? She was the exact word of "ugliness" so ugly. So filthy. So disgusting. Though her outward appearance was so beautiful to others’ eyes, AiLin couldn’t see this. All she saw was a dirty woman, fighting to live her life but she could never bring herself to ever like this woman who was trying so hard to survive.

She recalled again Canary’s words, questioning why she wouldn’t just try to move on and go for Li ZiChen. Canary didn’t say anything false. Indeed, Li ZiChen was perfect in every means. It would be tone deaf of her not to feel that his caringness for her was more than a simple "kindness" it was "affection". Even someone like her who never receive so much affection could tell that it was such a pure and tender emotions.

And it would be foolish of her to deny that her heart was swayed by Li ZiChen’s presence.

That young man wasn’t only handsome. He’s gentle, tender, kind, he was made out of love, a bundle of joy. He was akin to the sun, so bright and cheerful, letting his sunlight to touch her skin to melt her frozen heart. To put it in words, his love for her was far too glaring that she couldn’t deny that she had seen true love radiating from his eyes.

Li ZiChen was trying to suppress his love. The loving gaze he had for her, he would often try to dampen it, to show her that his eyes were confident and wasn’t filled with so much love. She knew Li ZiChen could tell that the moment he utter the words "I love you" she would run away from him, in fact, they were both aware of it. But Li ZiChen pretended to do everything for her in the name of their "contract" when in truth she could feel that there was more than partnership in his actions to prevent her from leaving his side.

But why her?

"Miss AiLin, uh..." the chauffeur who has always kept a quiet stance for himself suddenly spoke to her.

When she looked up to find his worried gaze from the mirror, the old chauffeur spoke gently, "Do you need a tissue for your thumb?"

AiLin looked down on her thumb that was mentioned, seeing the blood that dripped from the tip as she realized that she had been biting into it in a trance. She shook her head wordlessly and sighed.

She couldn’t keep doing this. She felt an unbearable guilt and shame for being the one receiving such love from Li ZiChen. To see him trying to suppress his love for her was also quite embarrassing, so much so that she felt like she was going to die from the guilt of ruining such a man. She had ruined someone in the past, so she shouldn’t be greedy and once again destroy someone’s life. No. She shouldn’t. She couldn’t.

Li ZiChen needed someone better than her, not someone "broken" like her. But how? She didn’t have that many acquaintances to push to Li ZiChen. She could try Canary but... she could already see her best friend throwing up on the idea.

There’s Mei Hua but she’s gone from the picture as Li ZiChen remarked of how he had drew a clear boundary (threaten) Mei Hua from coming to his family again.

She also wondered if this was a good idea— but she didn’t think that Li ZiChen should be with her.

Even if one day, all the frost over her heart melt from his gentle embrace. Even if one day, she would regret her action. Even if she would have to watch by the sideline as Li ZiChen hugged another woman and whisper lovingly to her ears.

Even if... she would one day cry over this decision...

Li ZiChen has to be with someone perfect and flawless.

Not her.

AiLin’s eyes seemed to be in a dark trance as she walked out of the car and into the elevator. Her gaze was so dimmed as if all the lights from her eyes had been taken a way from her. One of the people who entered the elevator saw her face and asked her in a worry of her condition but AiLin didn’t respond to them. It wasn’t that she was being rude, the people could tell too, but she was really in a deep trance as if she was sleepwalking. They shuddered seeing her expression and worriedly try to call for her again until AiLin responded with a slight nod of her head.

When the elevator stopped at Li ZiChen’s penthouse, AiLin stepped out and entered through the door. The house was dark, meaning that Li ZiChen wasn’t home.

Yet AiLin didn’t turn on the lights. She sat down on the couch, staring blankly at the darkness, feeling the embrace of this never changing darkness was more comforting than the sunlight.

She didn’t know how long it had been and only reacted when the light entered her vision again. Li ZiChen who had turned on the lights was surprised to see AiLin blankly sitting on the couch. Li ZiChen immediately dropped down the coat on his arms. He rushed beside her, crouching in front of her while placing his hands on her knees, his eyes frantically trying to look into those empty gaze that were simply staring at the large window on their right side.

"AiLin?" He called her name in a fragile tone. "Are you here?"

She turned back to him, and though those eyes were still empty, her lips were drawn into a small smile.

She closed her eyes and by the time she opened them again, lights filled in those blank black orbs.

She smiled, "You’re home. I didn’t hear you."

How could she not hear him? Unless she was so drawn with her thoughts, it would be weird for her not to notice that he had barged into the house and ran toward her.

"AiLin..." he was going to suggest the therapy when AiLin hummed as she interrupted him.

"I want to meet the therapist as you said before," AiLin’s gentle eyes were filled with an unknown thought and that scared Li ZiChen. He could see she was determined. But determined for what? What was she firm about? The thought of death? The thought of what?

For someone who doesn’t have that much goal in her life, seeing AiLin suddenly firmly made her thought on something scared him.

It’s because he knew that she wouldn’t choose a thought that would help her. No. She was choosing for a firm decision that would hurt her one day.

"Zi Chen?" Her red lips called for him but he was wary.

"You want to meet the therapist? What made your mind change?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "I just felt like this is the right time. That’s not important either way, can I tell you about something else?"

"Go on," he said, hoping she would speak on what had happened today that made her sit in the darkness. He had received the chauffeur messages that AiLin came home five hours ago. So was she sitting in the darkness for the long five hours? Without moving or doing anything, she was just sitting in the darkness. He could tell she wasn’t aware that she had been sitting for so long either.

"So I want you to help me with Canary’s case," she didn’t see the disappointment in Li ZiChen’s eyes as she spoke about something else other than her own feelings. She continued, "I wonder if you can search someone else’s call history? Or maybe hire a private detective to look where Canary had gone to every Saturday from four to six?"

Li ZiChen gulped down his sigh and responded to her well, "I can do those, but what’s the problem?"

"Canary’s subordinates told me how she’s been acting weirdly. Do you know about her past?" Seeing her shook his head, she told him briefly about it, "She was sold from a child trafficking group. The person who sold her was her own mother while the one who had bought her was the head of the trafficking group. He calls himself as the ’orphanage caretaker’ or more known as the ’Dean’. I don’t think I have to divulge on what they have done..."

He shook his head and she continued, "To make it short, that dean is dead and the one who killed him was Canary but it seems she’s been contacted by someone with the name ’orphanage caretaker’ again. She doesn’t usually hide something so I’m suspecting that she’s trying to protect someone in the orphanage but knowing her, she maybe feels very hesitant to talk to me about this."