Kissing Hellfire: Marry Me, Evil Lord -
Chapter 148: A Life Without Regrets
Chapter 148: A Life Without Regrets
Looking out the window where the thick mist was covering the front yard of the castle, Lauren heaved a sigh. Early this morning it started to snow which meant she would have to wear very thick clothes if she wanted to go outside. And even if she did, she wouldn’t last for too long under the cold weather.
"I really hate winter," she muttered under her breath while Vivian was checking out the new dresses the royal tailor had delivered.
After breakfast, Vivian came to visit her. The talk she had with Alec about his family was cut short. He said he would tell her the details later this night. She took it as a hint that he didn’t want to tell the story of his family with the servants around listening.
"Fortunately, Jennifer Haystone is now dead. My goodness Lauren, why would you even suggest to your husband to take a concubine?" Vivian rolled her eyes for the nth time since the time she arrived. "Even if it is for your plan, you shouldn’t have done it! What if she happened to catch the King’s attention and outshine you?"
"We are not a real couple," Lauren reminded.
"But you told me your contract is void now! And the way King Alec looks at you... I can feel it. He must have developed feelings for you. Had he confessed yet?"
Vivian put down the dress she was checking out and went to the table filled with snacks. Facing Lauren who was standing by the window, she crossed her legs with a biscuit in her hand.
With the conflicted look on Lauren’s face, Vivian’s mouth slowly formed an ’o’ before jumping on her seat.
"You tell me... he actually did!?" The first words came out in a whisper while the latter was more like a yell.
"Tone down your voice. The maids outside will think there is a commotion happening here." Lauren walked to the table and poured herself some hot tea. Even though she was inside the castle, she still felt a little cold.
Lauren had no one else to talk to about her relationship with Alec, so she filled Vivian with the details she wanted to know. She skipped some parts though and only told her vague details of what was happening between her and Alec. She also didn’t mention anything about her illness. She only told her that she wanted to leave the castle after the rebels were caught.
"Well, you’ve been telling me all these years that you want to lead a carefree life away from politics and strifes... but is it still the same thing you want?" Now Vivian was serious. She was Lauren’s confidant and she was aware of what Lauren had gone through in the castle. So no one could blame her if she wished to live outside the castle and start anew.
"No matter what your decision is, you know I am always going to support you. But you must think about it thoroughly, Lauren. King Alec might be a scary man but I can see that he has genuine intentions towards you. He may be calloused and intimidating but I have faith that if there is someone who can protect you more than anyone, it is him."
"What if..." Lauren bit her bottom lip, "I will eventually harm him? What if staying means he will have to face a lot of trouble?"
Vivian’s brows knitted, not getting Lauren’s point. "What do you mean staying will cause him trouble?"
"I have a problem I want to face myself. I don’t want to implicate him and ruin everything."
"What problem is that?" Now Vivian’s full attention was all on Lauren. When she received Lauren’s silence, she took it as a hint that she could not tell her what the problem was and she didn’t want to force her, "So... it seems you are dealing with something right now which I have no knowledge of. I understand if you don’t want to speak about it, but if that problem is what holding you back because you think you might bring him trouble, I think it is unfair on his part."
"Unfair?" Lauren looked confused. "Why would it be unfair?"
Vivian clicked her tongue and shook her head, "King Alec is a powerful man, Lauren. If your man happened to be someone who can’t protect himself, I’d support your leaving him. But the thing is, he is not just anybody. He is Alec Everston, the ruler of this land. He confessed to you which means he wants you by his side as a real wife. If you just leave him hanging because you don’t want to involve him in your problem, for sure he won’t take it as generosity. You should give him a right to decide if he is willing to stay by your side despite the consequences."
"And that is the problem," Lauren drawled as she sighed heavily, "I have a feeling that he will stay regardless of the consequences. But I don’t want him to do that for me. He shouldn’t..." He shouldn’t waste his time on her and give up everything he had. She was dying. Would it be worth it?
Once the Supreme House discovered her condition, Lauren knew that it would create a big feud. Should they know the Queen of Evardin was a product of forbidden sorcery and the kind that was never seen before, they would think of it as a threat, a betrayal to the laws of all lands. She should leave the Queen’s position before that could happen. Other lands would get involved. After all, most tyrant rulers loved to prey on the weak.
This wasn’t just about her and Alec. It wasn’t just about their relationship. They were not ordinary people but leaders of a kingdom which meant the state’s matters and people must be their priority. Evardin was chaotic enough with the rising rebellion. One must remain standing to rule the kingdom.
"Still, I believe you should let him know what you are planning," Vivian looked up the window with a thoughtful look, "The man is in love with you, Lauren. You shouldn’t leave him in the dark. If you want to leave, then tell him honestly why you want to do so. Life is short, well at least for a human like me," she smiled. "That’s why I’d rather throw my inhibitions away and live a life without regrets."
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