I Reincarnated as a Noble Bastard, So I'm Seducing All the Villainess
Chapter 51: I Don’t Do Anything in a Fight Like a Extra Character

Chapter 51: I Don’t Do Anything in a Fight Like a Extra Character

Right now, I’m being devoured by a long, delicious tongue, while the floor is blowning to bits by magical explosions. I’ve had a lot of bizarre situations following me around lately: a crazy witch dragging me into wild sex, an inquisitor falling in love with me dressed as a woman, me trading punches with the devil, you know, just normal stuff.

And no, that wasn’t a figure of speech, Moriah really is an expert in wet, wonderful kisses, but the situation is STUPIDLY AWFUL.

There are literally people flying through the air, wine bottles being hurled at unsuspecting heads, and if I’m not careful, I’ll probably find someone taking advantage of the chaos to stab their spouse.

I’m probably in the best situation right now, If only I could at least move... Oh, there’s a sword coming straight for her head. Great. Are we going to die clinging to each other like a pair of lovesick doves? Lame, but that’s never going to happen.

Moriah grabs the sword without even looking back, shattering it with the force of her hands, then slams the same guy so hard in the chest that he flies backward, breaking a window, and falling into the garden.

Only after my neck started hurting and my tongue went numb did she stop, giving me a gentle push back and wiping her lips with an insane smile. It’s no joke, I’ve only seen that kind of expression once before, and that was when I was being chased with a knife.

This is definitely "Moriah Combat Mode", to the point where her wings have fully unfurled and the antennae are raised high.

"My love, just a moment, I’ll take care of this quickly, and then we can go to the room..."

Today’s the day I stop walking.

Moriah leaps with an unnatural lightness, her heels barely touch the floor before she’s airborne, her wings beating so powerfully that nearby tables topple over. The airflow created by her beats was enough to lift dresses, papers, and dust like an impatient gale.

She slammed her knees into the chest of one of the invaders who came from above and threw him straight onto the shattered floor.

The explosion that opened in the center of the hall was still spewing smoke, and from it emerged the damned Libertarians, covered in soot, cracked ceramic masks, each accompanied by at least one steel golem moving with mechanical clanks.

One of them pointed at Moriah, shouting orders I couldn’t even hear in the confusion. She was already on top of him, spinning her body with a roundhouse kick that dislocated the guy’s jaw with a dry crack. Sexy and deadly.

Glad I’m not directly in the middle of it because probably someone would already stabbed my back.

I’ll slip away while the chance is here, quietly... My foot hit something. Looking down, I see the freshly formed corpse of Count Vandric, dead from a sword blow to the neck. Who would’ve thought? He threatened to kill me in a dirty alley, and now I find him here.

A portly noble tried to flee from a masked assailant with a spear, only to trip on wine spilled by a scurrying servant, and the two tumbled over each other. People screamed, stumbled, pushed each other. Someone was thrown telekinetically against a wall, another ran by on fire... On second thought, this was a terrible idea. Now the palace is definitely going to be destroyed.

At least my eyes found Ravenna. She emerged from the shadows, her eyes sparking. A shadowy cloak around her looked like living smoke, crawling through the air while blocking any unseen arrows or attacks. She extended her hand, and two black chains emerged from the floor, dragging a Libertarian to the ceiling, bones snapping along the way. Ow.

In the background, on the balconies, Leonhardt moved like an orderly specter. He leaped from point to point, observing, evaluating, firing bursts of light at specific targets with the surgical precision of a seasoned inquisitor. The damn guy seemed to be hunting targets, not just defending himself.

As for me, I decided to just grab a lost wine bottle and chug it. I’m pretty used to bar fights from getting drunk and wanting to punch people, so this isn’t much different for me. The best way to avoid trouble is to just stay quiet in your corner and wait...

Great, a glass shard just grazed my cheek, now I’m officially in the game. A dagger was lying around on the body of one of the fallen Libertarians, so I appropriated it. The dead don’t need protection.

Okay, first thought: I’m going to die. Second thought: in style. I feel like going through life-or-death adventures has made me insensitive to the chance of actually dying.

"Darius!", Ravenna calls out, emerging from one of the smoke screens. "What are you doing here, you idiot? You should have run away ages ago, you’re just going to get in the way!"

"Ah, my bad, it’s just there’s not much nowhere to run. Look there."

I nod to the nobles running towards the garden. A pair of golems blocked their path, crushing the first one they saw and going after others. Well, I’m stuck in here whether like it or not.

She didn’t have time to laugh. One of the Libertarians jumped from behind me, wielding two short swords. Ravenna snapped her fingers, and a black lightning bolt shot across the room, disintegrating the poor guy into dust before he could even shout his supervillain name. Disturbing.

I turn my eyes back to Moriah, she’s now twirling in the smoke, covered in blood and shrapnel, her hair loose like killer tentacles. She still has that same expression, and holy shit, seeing her with so much red in that white hair gives me chills.

One of the invaders tries to ensnare her with magical chains, but honestly, that was the worst possible choice. Moriah grabbed them with her fists and pulled the chain-wielder towards her, only to kick him squarely in the crotch with the thin tip of her heel.

Ughhh, my dick shriveled in fear. That hurt me.

And the funniest part? She still looked at me in the chaos and blew a kiss. A cute little kiss, as if promising me another round in the bedroom after annihilating an entire terrorist cell.

Yeah, I’m more fucked than they are.

My eyes catch a new guy wanting to be a pain in the ass. He’s coming at me because I’m easy prey, bet. Ravenna reacts instantly, turning to the guy and preparing a new spell, but before she can, I hurl the wine bottle in my hand, and besides drenching the bastard’s face with wine, I also make him swallow some glass shards in the process.

The witch just launches a fireball that incinerates the lunatic.

Look at that, I’m being useful in this fight! Just kidding.

Even Victorian, now newly strengthened by lunch plates, is pounding the floor against these guys and the golems. Seriously, he only needed one stab to rip off an entire piece of those things’ arms, something I wouldn’t even think of doing because it’s impossible for me.

I let out that heavy sigh. Looks like this dagger won’t be of any use...

A chill runs down my spine. Something’s getting close, too close. I yank Ravenna down by the shoulders, just in time to avoid a longsword almost decapitating both of us.

The witch slides across the floor and carries me back in her arms, putting distance between us and the one who had the chance for a surprise attack. Only then do I have the chance to confirm that we are truly fucked.

The boss, the big shot, Philomeu, appeared. He’s standing there, showing no wounds, not even caring much about what’s happening around him. Any guard who gets close becomes mincemeat in the blink of an eye, so obviously no one wants to face this guy.

"Darius Moonlight...", he says, just to worsen the mood. "I should have eliminated you when I had the chance, but deemed it unnecessary. As for Ravenna, I expected her to die at the hands of one of my envoys, but unforeseen events always happen."

The sword’s blade glows red, more than the villain’s hair entering its second phase. Ah, I can even hear a different song with this... or am I just hallucinating because we’re really going to die!

"Stay behind me...", Ravenna says as she drops my body.

Instead of falling on my ass, a kind of shadow carries my body backward. The witch is now full of gray mana surrounding her body.

Shadows stretched out beneath her feet, like fingers of a hidden giant, crawling across the destroyed floor towards Philomeu. The entire hall trembled in response to his presence, the flames of chaos around danced in wrong directions, as if the world refused to touch him.

Philomeu didn’t even move. The shadow rose to engulf him, but a slash of his sword made the thing dissipate.

"You’ve improved, but you’re still weak...", he muttered, disappointed. "You used this power well before, Ravenna. It’s a shame you chose the wrong side."

She responded with dark orbs launched in sequence, each one invoking a different attack: fire, lightning, and a wave of invisible force pushing everything forward. Philomeu dodged two. The third he nullified with another swing of his weapon.

"Ravenna!", I shouted, an idiot, useless, desperate shout, knowing I would be ignored.

She is sweating a lot. Shit, shit! She can’t last much longer, this son of a bitch is the worst kind of enemy! Please, dodge, move, do anything!

Philomeu’s body acted like a mirage, in the blink of an eye, he stood in front of Ravenna while a phantom took his place behind, twirling the red sword between its hands.

The tip went straight towards her chest. No, no, no!

Clang. No fucking way... no fucking way!

Philomeu freezes. The blade stops in mid-air, as if it had collided against a concrete wall... except this wall is more like an unstoppable force.

Leonhardt was there, showing his back to us like a true hero, like the damn protagonist should be! He had parried the blow single-handedly and was now facing down the villain!

"That’s enough."

Philomeu raises an eyebrow, regaining his posture.

"Tsk... A dog of the church still breathes."

The big bad guy took two steps back, adjusting his stance and also analyzing his opponent differently. Leonhardt acted like a wall between us, preventing him from approaching in any way and covering the blind spots. How he managed to get here so fast, I have no idea, but thank you!

Ravenna stumbles, exhausted. Her arms drop, and the gray mana color disappears, however, what really prevents the world around us from functioning properly is the contrast between these two monsters.

Philomeu looks at Leonhardt for a long second, then smiles. It’s one of those macabre smiles, a specialty of evil characters, that sends a shiver down your spine.

"Excellent. I was starting to think this ball would be too boring."

The red sword trembles, the crimson hues intensify, and thorns grow out the sides.

Oh, shit, does this motherfucker have a third phase?!