I Only Want to Lie Flat But Am Forced to Cultivate Immortality
Chapter 289 - 161: Papermen Funeral Procession, Friend Entrusts an Orphan

Chapter 289: Chapter 161: Papermen Funeral Procession, Friend Entrusts an Orphan

Today, sitting in the carriage, he did not use the Light Body Skill.

Xu Qing lifted his clothing and looked again at the Armor Horse Talisman pasted on the inside of his pant leg, only to find that the talisman he applied half a month ago had its characters blurred and had lost its effectiveness.

No wonder!

Xu Qing had thought the horse wasn’t running properly, turns out the duration of the Armor Horse Talisman had ended!

He casually removed the old talisman, replaced it with a new one, and the next moment everyone in the carriage suddenly leaned back, a strong feeling of being pushed struck instantly.

Inside the carriage, Mouse Lady quickly extended her hand to stabilize herself, Xuan Yu and Da Zhuang also reacted swiftly, only Gu Zixu, who was driving, was caught off guard and nearly thrown from the carriage.

"This horse is really strange, why did it suddenly become so strong?"

Xu Qing nonchalantly said, "What did I say, it was the horse’s problem, see how fast it’s running now."

Xuan Yu saw the horse’s speed had more than doubled and his thoughts turned back to the monk riding a donkey.

"Horse, run faster! Catch up with that big monk!"

Gu Zixu, wanting to perform well in front of the Cat Immortal, vigorously shook the reins, urging the weight-reduced chestnut horse to speed up on the road.

After a short chase, the monk riding a donkey backwards appeared in their view again on the official road.

Seeing the carriage catching up, the monk was startled, wondering why these people seemed to be targeting him?

The large monk spread his wide monk sleeves and swept over the donkey’s rear, a Buddhist paper ignited without wind, and as the ash scattered, a line of charred golden characters sank into the donkey’s hide.

With the Buddha Beads twirling in his hand, he invoked a mantra, and the next moment the donkey that was about to be caught up again widened the gap with Xu Qing’s carriage.

Xu Qing was surprised as he watched the donkey disappear into the distance.

Strangely enough, the steps of the donkey in front didn’t seem fast to the naked eye, yet it created a distance from the carriage, appearing to glide over the ground like some land-compressing magic.

Xuan Yu was still encouraging Gu Zixu, while Xu Qing quietly removed the Armor Horse Talisman from himself, and the moment the horse’s speed visibly decreased again.

Unaware of the reason, Xuan Yu was opened up by Xu Qing who said, "I saw that monk does not seem ordinary, Xuan Yu don’t forget what happened outside the Jin Sect before."

Cats are playful, once they are caught up in the mood, they forget the previous losses they’ve suffered.

Reminded by Xu Qing, Xuan Yu immediately came back to his senses.

Meanwhile, on the road to Quyang, the monk riding the donkey backwards was twirling Buddha Beads, muttering something, seemingly making a calculation.

Although the carriage had a scent of incense, it was uncertain if the other party was performing some profane rituals to cheat incense off others.

"That coachman is apparently an old man, how could he appear as a woman, and a widow at that..."

The plump monk furrowed his brows, and as his fingers sped up rotating the Buddha Beads, a rich incense scent leaked from between his fingers, drifting into the air like a golden ribbon connecting heaven and earth.

An old lady selling vegetables, a dusty singer...

When calculating to the dusty singer, the plump monk’s fingers suddenly paused, he did not continue the divination.

Three questions only, is the rule known by those who are skilled in divination.

The plump monk always adhered to the monastic rules, unwilling to break this rule of divination.

"All appearances are illusions, Amitabha."

After a momentary pause, the plump monk’s reversed twirling of the Buddha Beads resumed its normal direction.

...

Underground Street, Funeral Shop.

Upon returning to the shop, Xu Qing had Sun Erzhuang cook, while he set up an altar table with incense, first to establish a new branch hall, secondly to acquaint Gu Zixu and Gu Qiao’Er with the Immortals of each hall for a team-building gathering and meal.

A space was deliberately left for Heiye on the table, with incense stuck in it. Gu Zixu didn’t understand why, so he was told it was the seat of the house deity, Crow Grandfather.

"Crow Grandfather has gone afar for business, and though he cannot return to celebrate in time, he should not be forgotten either."

Gu Zixu and Gu Qiao’Er both pledged an oath, joining the Immortal Hall. Xu Qing then felt that the incense available in the Main Hall Dharma Realm increased by about two thousand.

"Ancient Immortal, this incense..."

Having just indulged in the red grain liquor, Gu Zixu, slurring, said, "Since I joined the Immortal Hall, this incense is naturally my gift to the Cat Immortal Hall, hoping that in the future, the Sect Leader will remember the goodwill from me and Qiao’Er and keep us safe."

Xu Qing was speechless.

The old man was still uneasy, so he merged this incense into the Cat Immortal Hall as a token.

"I’ll accept this incense for now. In the future, if Brother Gu and Miss Qiao’Er need any incense, feel free to obtain it from me."

Gu Zixu shook his head, laughing, "Two thousand strands of incense aren’t easy to collect, even if I want to get it back someday, how much will Cat Immortal Hall return?"

In the end, it’s just spending money for peace!

...

After the Feng Shui Hall was completed, Gu Zixu and Gu Qiao’Er dug a Mouse House below Underground Street as their dwelling place.

The brothers Da Zhuang and Er Zhuang returned to the Circle Hall to continue handling affairs for the villagers in the mountain, accumulating incense.

By the end of August, Cat Immortal Hall had nearly forty thousand strands of incense.

On this day, Xu Qing was playing with a valuable walnut in one hand and carrying an oversized birdcage, leading Golden Simurgh out the door.

Unusually idle these days, he happened to have time to go to Flower and Bird Street to handle some affairs for Second Master Feng.

That Second Master in his early days had unknowingly offended some vile entities, leaving no one alive in his family except him.

Even surviving by luck, Second Master Feng dared not marry and have children, and no matter where he went, he carried ’Big Uncle’, letting that rooster keep him safe.

Xu Qing had always remembered this; Second Master Feng found burial money for Xu Qing to refine the Yin Gold Coffin, a favor he would not ignore.

Besides, others might fear vile things, but he was the least afraid of such stuff.

Who’s dirtier than he is?

Carrying the displeased Golden Simurgh, Xu Qing hummed a tune, leisurely strolling out from Underground Street.

However, what Xu Qing didn’t know was that after he left with Golden Simurgh, a sculpted girl appeared in the otherwise empty Funeral Shop.

The girl was wearing oversized adult clothes, needing to hold up the hem while walking to avoid tripping.

After about a tea cup’s worth of time, the girl in a blue-green robe disappeared instantly, leaving the large robe unsupported, scattering on the floor.

A moment later, the robe wriggled, and a black cat crawled out from within it.

...

Flower and Bird Street, within Second Master Feng’s villa.

An Escort Master from Taian Escort Agency was chatting idly with Second Master Feng and others.

Seeing Xu Qing walk in carrying a majestic rooster, a group of Escort Masters exclaimed in admiration.

"Wow, this big rooster, even a pot might not be enough to stew it."

The one who said this was the sweet-tongued Gold-Hanging Escort Master.

"Hongwu, you’re not mute just because you don’t talk!"

The Town Guarding Escort Master glared at him irritably, knowing that to these playful lords, the pets kept in cages, the cats and dogs held in their arms, were cherished no less than their own children.

To say you’ll stew the chicken inside someone’s cage right to their face, not getting beaten is a small fortune!

The Gold-Hanging Escort Master dryly laughed, changing the subject quickly, "Where was I? Oh right, Second Master isn’t aware of the matters in the capital. A few days ago when the Heavenly Sacrifice Platform was completed, the current emperor attended the ceremony, and rebels from the Celestial Heart Sect nearly succeeded in assassination!"

The Town Guarding Escort Master, hearing this, felt his brain throb; this scatterbrain should have stuck to the stew talk.

Upon hearing the news from the capital brought by the Gold-Hanging Escort Master, Xu Qing finally learned that the Celestial Heart Sect’s Five Luo Guardians had caused another huge commotion.

But nothing came of it.

Manpower cannot match divine power, divine power cannot best fate, as long as the Dayong Dynasty’s luck isn’t exhausted, the seeming immense talk of regime change isn’t ripe within, and the Celestial Heart Sect assassins are merely the hand testing the ripeness for the world.

Xu Qing lamented over this, but he had plenty of time; slowly living his life, collecting bodies, until the day when the fruit ripens and falls effortlessly will come eventually.