His Toxic Addiction
Chapter 168: Her Fears.

Chapter 168: Her Fears.

"That’s when I realized what a true friend was. A true friend is someone who would always love you - the imperfect you, the confused you, the wrong you - because that is what people are supposed to do,"

~R. J. L.

"Friendship is the purest love, it’s one mind in two bodies,"

~Unknown.

...

Hearing the sudden gasp, she called again, "Lyn," with panic when the other end just stayed quiet after the sudden gasp, "Lyn, I’m sorry," she apologized again.

"I was just scared. I never meant it that way, but it just came out that way as I wasn’t able to control my fear. I’m sorry," she choked.

Jocelyn was all quiet and it was strangling her. Parting her lips, she continued, "I tried to control my fear, I tried to think straight but my fears wouldn’t let me risk it, I mean_" she went on.

Jocelyn just kept quiet and listened to Arissa apologize with random sincere words and before Jocelyn would be able to control herself, her tears let loose as she joined Arissa in the crying tournament.

"_I’m sorry, I feel so lost and alone and we might not be families but_"

Another sudden gasp left Jocelyn’s lips, "No, don’t say that. You are not here alone, we’re families," Jocelyn cut her off as she spoke up for the first time. The call was already seven minutes long which meant Arissa had been apologizing for almost eight minutes and it was time for her to let go of her acting and come around.

Jocelyn gasped because of the word ’I’m sorry,’ that left Arissa’s lips but still, it warmed her heart greatly. Her friend had changed a lot and if Jocelyn was being honest, she never expected Arissa to call her. She had thought she would be the one to can first since Arissa always never cared.

She bit her lower lip, "I’m also sorry. I shouldn’t have said those words. You are not selfish, you just don’t know how to let the people you love surround you. All you do is push us all away without a care in the world if we get hurt by your actions or not. I tried, I waited and I hoped you would one day lean on my shoulders like you let me lean on yours but you never did," she took in a deep breath as she gave Arissa some short-lived breathing space.

It was short-lived because she continued almost immediately, "Ever since I met you, you have always been lonely and even when I try, nothing works because you refuse to let me in. You refuse to let anyone in,"

She continued, "Most times, I wonder what you were made up of. I know I do joke about your heart being rock hard but honestly, I meant those words," she paused as she listened to Arissa’s emotions through the phone.

Arissa whimpered from the other end as her heart tightened hearing the number of flaws she has. She never knew she was this difficult.

Jocelyn sniffed when she heard Arissa whimper. She was glad her words were hitting the right places, "Let us surround you and fight for you sometimes. You are not alone, I’m right here. Sometimes, back down from the battlefield. You don’t know this but I do. No matter how hard you try, you would one day break down and when you do, what would happen? After pushing us away this way and that day comes, you would have no one to fight for you and then, what next?"

Arissa was speechless with a heavy heart.

"Arissa, think about yourself before others. I’m not saying you should abandon them but in a situation like this, stay safe before trying to keep the next person safe,"

"I’m sorry," was all Arissa could mutter out. No matter how uptight she could be, Mr. Adams and Jocelyn are the only two people she listens to and they always made sure to hit her deep with their words or advice.

Jocelyn smiled heartedly, "I’m sorry," she said, "We’re family and you’re not alone on this. Let us all in," she pleaded.

Arissa hesitated but still, she accepted, "I will,"

Jocelyn’s lips parted at the other end from disbelief, "Thank_"

"Where are you?" Arissa cut her off, "It’s storming," her voice was laced with concern as she calmed down.

The moment Arissa closed her mouth, the door was pulled open from the outside, "What?!" Arissa was taken aback when Jocelyn walked in.

"I’ve been standing at the door for hours. I only left to get there," she raised the takeaway bag to Arissa’s view.

Arissa’s phone dropped from her hand and for the first time, she ran towards Jocelyn for a tight hug. The two friends dropped to the floor due to the gravity Arissa came with.

Not minding the fall, they held themselves tight and rolled on the rug like kids.

"I missed you," Jocelyn said breathlessly.

Arissa smiled and parted the hug before pulling Jocelyn up, "Why didn’t you tell me you were at the door?" she asked her.

Jocelyn turned to the fallen bags and picked them up, "Let’s eat first," she held Arissa’s hand to the table, "I stood before that door for thirteen hours and no delivery came in which means you haven’t eaten anything,"

Jocelyn chattered as she set the table, returning to her old self and Arissa could only smile with a heavy heart. She immediately thanked the Lord she was able to grab Jocelyn back because she wasn’t sure of what would happen to her if Jocelyn distance herself from her as Richard did.

She was already going crazy with her family and adding Jocelyn - she don’t want to imagine what would happen next but still, she would start learning how to be around and treat those who loves her better.

"Stop crying," Jocelyn scolded her and that was when Arissa realized she haven’t stopped her tears. Turning fully to Arissa, Jocelyn embraced her tight, "I won’t leave, I’m always right here, and don’t forget that I love you so much. I was just hurt by your accusations but no matter what, I won’t let you fall alone, we must go down together," she promised.

Lost of words, Arissa could only hug Jocelyn back with love.

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