His Toxic Addiction
Chapter 167: Self Love Wasn’t Enough.

Chapter 167: Self Love Wasn’t Enough.

Arissa paced up and down around the ward in deep thought. She couldn’t imagine Jocelyn haven’t returned nor called her after hours of leaving.

Her fingers holding her phone clenched them with her mind hanging on the thread line of going crazy from fear. She can’t lose Jocelyn. Not now, not ever especially not now she’s losing everyone in her life.

From her parents to Mr. Adams, Richard, and now Jocelyn? No, she can’t let her best friend slip off her fingers so easily as she did with Richard.

Richard’s case was complicated. She has to give him some space to keep him safe. No matter what anyone says, she knows he doesn’t have to know about all of these.

Being alive and staying mad at her was far better than visiting him in his grave. If he finds out about all of this, she doesn’t know the decisions he might take, and she knows her father would surely hunt his tail down.

However, Jocelyn was different. She was sure her father wouldn’t waste his time on Jocelyn. Since she wasn’t family, he has nothing to do with her.

She stared at her phone in contemplation as her heart shattered into pieces. What Jocelyn said hurt her. Had she always been just about herself?

She had always thought Jocelyn understands her. So what happened now? She had been waiting for Jocelyn to call first as she had always done but it seems at this point, she would wait forever for that call. It was already past eleven late at night but not even a message came forth.

Her legs got weak and she slumped into the couch tiredly. She breathed deeply in thought as she asked herself if she went too extreme or if the question might have been too sudden.

She fidgeted with her fingers in deep thought and at that moment, her stomach grumbled painfully, reminding her she haven’t tasted water since the beginning of the day.

She rolled her eyes weakly, rubbing her forehead from dizziness, she remembered Mrs. Wyatt. The woman would have shoved something down her throat if she had been around which made her miss her motherly affection.

Not like her mother who doesn’t care if she was okay, alive, or healthy. The last time the woman visited, she left without giving her those warm hugs she usually does.

She skipped breakfast on purpose as she wanted to dine with Jocelyn but that man spoiled it all. She had been so focused on today’s issue that she forgot about her stomach. Thinking of that man, her brows squinted from thoughts.

She had never seen him before until that auction but he acts so creepy like he knows her so well or has something personal with her. Her logic received an eye roll from her.

She would have gone after Jocelyn but she can’t risk it. That man might be waiting around the corners and that new nurse, who was she?

Suddenly, her chest heaved up and down, slowly from too much thinking. She tried to believe the nurse meant no harm but her heart refused to believe that.

It was easy to believe or assume the nurse might be a new transfer but her instinct refused to. The nurse seemed all okay and professional which made Arissa begin to question her rationality.

"Am I going crazy?" she murmured to herself with her eyes wide open.

’No,’ her inner voice replied immediately.

Arissa stood up from the couch, "I think I am. I suspected Jocelyn and now I just involved an innocent nurse to my list," tears filled the brim of her eyes, "I’m going crazy," she said to herself, her voice laced with certainty.

She gulped painfully in anxiety, her legs weakened and she immediately dropped to the floor. The sky rumbled violently as it prepared for an uproar.

Arissa’s turned towards Adele who was peacefully lying on the bed, "Did I go wrong somewhere?" she questioned her sister with hopes for an answer but the thunder from the sky answered her and finally, her tears finally left her eyes. Instantly, the cloud let go of its water.

It rained heavily in seconds as if sympathizing with the fragile crying figure on the floor.

Arissa let it all out for the first time since this storm started. She had been holding all back and trying to be positive that she would trample over her father but looking at how everything was unfolding, she felt lost.

She had always believed she can survive with no one and still do her things, she never believed she just have to lose the little people she have around to feel the effect of that belief.

The cloud roared and sent down more rain as if it was sharing what she was feeling with her. Another roaring thunder followed and Arissa just smiled weakly. The normal her would have ran away from fright at the sound of a thunder but now, she was just rooted to the floor with no strength to run away. She just realized she needed love to survive.

Jocelyn’s outburst was an eye-opener. It seems loving oneself wasn’t always enough and everyone needed people besides, before, behind, and above them.

It made her rethink her ways of acting around the people who tried to love her. Perhaps she had gone a bit too far in building her walls not to get hurt but now, even with the walls held up so high, she was the one seated on the floor crumbling.

Cleaning her tears weakly, she stretched her hand toward the couch and picked up her cell phone. Clearing her throat, she searched for Jocelyn’s name and pressed the send control but the call was immediately cut off.

Arissa sighed, "I must have pushed her extreme," she said in another realization. Pressing the send control again, the call was immediately cut off again, and instantly, the close-to-ending tears flooded Arissa eyes again.

She forcefully cleaned the tears off her face and with determination, she stood up from the floor and called the line again. After twelve good times, it was abruptly cut off. Getting tired of cutting the calls after repeating it for twelve good times, the call was allowed to ring till it cut itself off and finally, after thirty sends, Arissa’s hard work showed off as Jocelyn finally answered the call.

About to speak up, Arissa paused waiting for the other end to speak up but the other end also stayed silent. Giving up, Arissa released a tired sigh before speaking up, "Lyn," she took a short deep breath, "I’m sorry," she apologized genuinely and there was a gasp from the other end.

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