Glass Hearts [BL]
Chapter 45: Okay. Maybe…Maybe I’m Gay.

Chapter 45: Okay. Maybe...Maybe I’m Gay.

Am I gay? Or... at least into guys? Or... just Dominic?

I blinked rapidly, my vision blurring for a second.

Because that was a question I’d spent my entire life avoiding. I’d told myself I just didn’t care about dating. That I was too busy, too focused on Alia, on Mom, on school.

But now...

The idea of Dominic pinning me against a wall, kissing me breathlessly... his hands roaming lower... Whispering those filthy words in my ear... yeah. That was definitely not a straight thought

A flush raced across my skin, so hot I felt dizzy.

God, I couldn’t even lie to myself anymore.

I wanted him.

I wanted to know what it felt like to kiss him. To have him touch me everywhere. To see if I’d actually make those sounds he teased me about.

I squeezed my eyes shut, still groaning.

Okay. Maybe...maybe I am gay.

And somehow, that thought terrified me...and excited me all at once.

I opened my eyes, scanning the corridor.

Because the scariest part wasn’t that I wanted Dominic.

It was that...maybe I’d been wanting him for a long time.

And now, if he really meant all those dirty, flirty words...

Did I actually have the guts to let it happen?

I reached the pediatric wing doors and paused, pressing my forehead against the cool glass for a second.

God. Why can’t I just be normal?

But deep down, even while my stomach was twisting itself into knots... a tiny spark of excitement kept flickering.

Because... if I was honest?

The thought of going home with Dominic... seeing what he wanted to "show me"...

Made me want to say yes.

"Mr Rivera?"

A soft voice pulled me out of my spiraling thoughts.

I jerked my head up, blinking as one of the pediatric nurses waved me over, her pink scrubs was decorated with tiny cartoon animals.

"Your sister’s been sharing her snacks with every kid in the ward," she said, chuckling. "Even the nurses got cookies. I’ve never seen someone so small walk in with so much attitude and generosity."

I blinked. "Yeah... that’s Alia."

"She’s adorable," the nurse said, nodding. "Bit scary too. One of the boys tried to take two chips, and she gave him the death stare of the century."

A laugh bubbled out of me, even though my chest still felt tight from everything racing through my head.

"Yeah," I murmured. "She’s... the sweetest kid you’ll ever meet. Even though she’s a total troublemaker and sometimes scares the crap out of me."

The nurse grinned. "Well, she’s brightened up a lot of kids’ days."

"She okay?" I asked, rubbing the back of my neck. "I mean... happy?"

The nurse nodded. "More than okay. You can go see her if you want."

"Thanks," I said. "I’ll just check on her quick, then... I’ll be back in a bit."

"Take your time," she said, moving down the hallway.

I pushed the pediatric lounge door and scanned the room.

There she was.

Alia stood at the center of a cluster of kids, tearing open a packet of cookies. She was talking, hands waving around like she was narrating some epic anime plot.

Two little girls and a boy were listening and, giggling at every dramatic pause.

My heart squeezed as I watched her.

Sweet, chaotic Alia.

She could be a hurricane one second, and the softest, kindest soul the next.

I lingered for another minute, just watching her grin and pass out more snacks.

And just like that... the tension in my chest eased.

She was okay.

She was happy.

I gave her a quick wave from the hallway. She blew me a kiss and went right back to her business like a tiny CEO managing her snack empire.

I turned and walked down the hall to the adult wing, feeling the weight of everything start to settle again.

The room was quiet. Still. The TV was on...an old movie from the ’80s....but she was sleeping peacefully, her chest rising and falling slowly.

I pulled up the chair beside her and sat down.

For a second, I just stared at her. At her hands. The lines on her face. The soft hum of the machines around us.

"I just picked Alia from school," I whispered. "She’s good today. She was laughing. You’d be proud of her."

I swallowed hard, then looked down.

There was something inside me that had been itching to come out. Something I’d never said out loud, not even in my head properly until today.

I leaned closer, just enough for my voice to be barely audible.

"And... um... I think I might be gay," I whispered.

The words felt weird in my mouth.

I laughed under my breath, shaky and unsure. "Is that crazy? I mean... I don’t even know what it means yet. I just... thought maybe if I said it here, first, it’d feel less scary."

She didn’t move. Her breathing stayed steady.

But something in me felt a little lighter, just saying it.

I kept picturing Dominic’s stupid grin, the way he leaned in close, whispering filthy things that made my chest hurt and my skin go hot.

I reached out and squeezed her hand. "Would you still love me? Even if I was?"

Of course, she didn’t answer.

But for a moment, I let myself pretend she did.

That she’d open her eyes and smile that tired smile of hers and say, "Ash, I love you no matter what."

I blinked back sudden tears.

A soft knock at the door pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Mr. Rivera?"

I turned to see another nurse poking her head in. "Sorry to interrupt. The doctor wants to speak with you. He’s waiting in his office."

My chest clenched.

"O-Okay. I’ll be right there."

I brushed my fingers over Mom’s hand one more time.

"I’ll be back soon, okay?" I whispered.

Then I slipped out of the room, trying to brace myself for whatever the doctor needed to say.