Fight, Flight, or Freeze: The Healer's Story
Chapter 177: The Man Was Right

Chapter 177: The Man Was Right

The way I saw it, I was broken. I had hit rock bottom, and like a glass of water, I had shattered all over the place, and everything that was inside disappeared.

And sitting here, in a bubble bath that I can’t remember taking in a long time, I realized for the first time that that was okay.

In fact, it was almost a relief.

I might not be ’normal’; I might still prefer smaller places to bigger ones, and I might always assume the worst in a person.

But that was fine.

What I was going to do was take this chance to rebuild myself from the inside out... without anyone telling me how I should be.

I would figure out all that on my own.

I might take a few steps forward, only to fall back sometimes, but that was okay, too.

And I already knew that man I wanted in my corner as I figured out just who I was.

"Rip doesn’t care about anything," I said suddenly, breaking the silence between me and Fan Teng Fei. The man hadn’t moved a muscle since he first sat down on the toilet, unconsciously guarding me even now. "He doesn’t care about what people think about him; he doesn’t care about helping strangers or protecting the world. He only cares about me."

I glanced over at Fan Teng Fei, and I could see him studying me intently as he listened to what I had to say. And I would have to admit, having someone outside of Rip listening so intently to what I had to say was a heady feeling.

"And that is what you want?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"That is what I need," I shrugged. I knew it wasn’t fair, and more than a few people would have their own opinions about what I wanted, but it was what it was. "I want someone that would give me the heads of my enemies to display on our mantel instead of trying to play devil’s advocate. I don’t want to try to understand people anymore; I don’t give a shit about them. I want to live the life that I want. Even if I don’t know what that looks like right now."

I mean, that wasn’t strictly true. I knew what it looked like. But until I got stronger physically, I wouldn’t be able to do it.

So, I would bide my time here in City A until I was ready.

"I understand," grunted Fan Teng Fei, nodding his head. If anyone could understand what I was saying, it would be him. Most people called him a Monk because he never seemed to have any worldly desires, but I knew that wasn’t the case. No, he had a darkness inside of him, and while it never scared me, it did make me wary. But now that I had that same darkness inside of me, I finally understood.

It wasn’t a lack of worldly desires; it was more like he just didn’t give a fuck.

But when that changed... I shuddered, causing the water in the bath to lap at the edges, threatening to overflow.

I would be very much interested in meeting that side of Fan Teng Fei.

We drifted off into compatible silence, both of us lost in our thoughts.

"The water is getting cold," I complained after a bit, not liking the fact that water couldn’t just stay hot all the time.

"Oh, so you mean it would still be too hot for everyone else in the house?" smirked Fan Teng Fei as he stood up and grabbed a towel. I had put my hair up in a messy bun... emphasis on messy bun so at least I didn’t need to worry about that right now.

Coming to my feet, I let the soap and water drip down my body. Fan Teng Fei, the gentleman that he was, only briefly glimpsed at me, for he turned his attention back to my face.

He held the towel open for me as I got out of the bath and stepped into his embrace. He wrapped the fluffy towel around me and pulled me closer to his chest.

"I am going to get you wet," I half-heartedly complained, not at all upset over the hug. I rested the side of my face against his chest and closed my eyes as I listened to his heartbeat.

I had spent so many years having second thoughts and regretting a lot of things, and I refused to do that anymore. I would take what I needed from the men who wanted to give it to me.

Starting with this hug.

"That’s one of the most amazing parts of me," joked Fan Teng Fei in a low voice. "I don’t mind getting wet."

I chuckled at his words but didn’t say anything. My legs were starting to shake, but I ignored that too.

I was happy where I was, and I wasn’t moving an inch.

"Why don’t you sit her down, and we can see what we can do about her hair," came a new voice from outside of the door. While it startled me, Fan Teng Fei only sighed in frustration.

"Aren’t you supposed to be the best one at reading a room?" he growled to the man outside, but the other one just laughed at his frustration.

"Who’s to say that I’m not?" asked Zeng Xian Liang as he strolled into the bathroom. It was a good thing it was so large, or else this would have gotten cramped fast. "In fact, I am so good at reading a room that I can tell that her legs are starting to shake from standing up for so long after a bath. And that she doesn’t want to leave your arms."

"Your point?" asked Fan Teng Fei, looking down at me to make sure that Zeng Xian Liang was correct.

What can I say? The man was 100% right.

"That if you sit down with her, she gets everything that she wants. She can stay in your arms, get her hair looked after, and take pressure off of her legs." I nodded at his words, more than willing to go with his idea.

Fan Teng Fei let out a long sigh as if he was being put out but sat down quickly on the toilet, letting me straddle him. With the change in height, I was able to rest my cheek against his shoulder as I buried my nose in his neck, breathing in his unique scent.