Fight, Flight, or Freeze: The Healer's Story
Chapter 176: Go That Route Again

Chapter 176: Go That Route Again

I leaned against the wall, hidden from sight, as the guys talked. I had come out to ask Bin An Sha for a couple of more towels, ones that he wouldn’t mind getting really dirty, but ended up hearing things that I don’t think I was supposed to.

I had no idea I was missing so much time, but I guess that was understandable. As a doctor, I knew the amazing things that the human body was capable of, and the mind was no different. But if they thought that the connection between me and Rip was nothing more than a ’syndrome,’ they were dead wrong.

The me that the men knew from before was no longer there, and I didn’t want to go back to being her ever again.

Only Rip knew and understood everything. He had the dubious honor of carrying me to the washroom when I couldn’t walk or move on my own. He was the one who had to wash my own feces and urine from my body when the summertime heat became too much, and the smell of all those women was attracting too many predators.

The ones who were sold at night were able to use a shower with soap to wash up because, as desperate as some men could be, no one was so desperate to fuck a woman covered in her own shit.

Those of us not chosen would get hosed down, and that was almost more torturous than just being covered in it. The power of the water had been known to leave bruises on some of the women. Still, no one complained or pointed out that hosing down someone who was already lying in dirt and excrement made things worse and not better.

But not Rip. No, he would sneak me out during the day when everyone was sleeping so I could go to the lake and soak there.

He gave me more food, different food.

We both knew what would happen if he was caught. At best, he would have been exiled from the Camp for giving out supplies; at worst, I would have been killed for eating them.

So, no, I didn’t consider him my captor. He was just as much of a prisoner as I was. I was the only thing keeping him there, and not once did he complain about it.

I thought about my ’bond’ with Alpha. Would I be sad or upset about him dying? No. Not in the least. In fact, if I had my way, I would be the one standing over him, draining him dry as he crumbled at my feet.

There was no fear, love, or loyalty to the creature that refused to kill me, only hatred. In fact, I might have ended up liking him more if he was willing to pull the trigger.

I spun around, no longer willing to go into the living room, and ask Bin An Sha for the towels. If he can’t deal with how dirty they get, then that is on him.

The fact that all six of them were ganging up against Rip was completely unacceptable. I would take my hot bath, enjoy the feeling of it chasing the cold from my bones, and I would do what I could for my hair. But if Rip so much as hinted that he was going to leave, I would be going with him.

I might still have feelings for the guys; I wasn’t completely sure yet, but I knew I was in love with Rip. If it came down to it, there was no question about who I would choose.

"Did you get the answers you wanted?" asked Fan Teng Fei as he appeared behind me. I jumped at the sound of his voice and quickly spun around, my hand on my heart.

"Do I need to put a bell on you?" I asked, raising an eyebrow to look at the man.

"If you want," shrugged the man like it wasn’t that big of a deal. "But you didn’t answer my question. Did you get the answers you wanted?"

"You knew I was listening the whole time?" I asked, entering the bathroom and getting undressed. I didn’t have anything else to wear, but I would not be putting that dress on again. I missed my sweater, leggings, and combat boots. I wonder where they went...

Or even when I got changed.

Shaking my head, I turned my attention back to Fan Teng Fei, not at all surprised to find him leaning against the sink counter, staring at me.

"I was actually surprised that the assassin didn’t. Or else he didn’t care. I have yet to figure out his horse in the race," continued Fan Teng Fei with a smirk. "Or maybe he hoped that when you heard everything, you would turn against everyone but him."

"What happened to not forcing me to choose? And not fighting in front of me?" I asked. I held out my hand, and he quickly grabbed it, helping me into the bath without slipping.

The water was still just short of lobster boil and it was fantastic. Bin An Sha even had a vanilla bubble bath soap added to it. Sinking down so that only my face was above the cloud of bubbles, I closed my eyes.

"I don’t want to fight," I sighed, knowing that the man was listening to what I was saying... and even what I wasn’t.

"The relationship between me and Rip is nothing like what Ye Yao Zu is implying. And don’t get me wrong, making decisions right now has been known to send me into a full-blown panic attack. But it wouldn’t even be a decision. If I had to choose, I would choose Rip. Hands down, no questions asked."

"May I ask why? You have known us for a lot longer than him," replied Fan Teng Fei, going over to sit on the toilet beside the massive tub.

"But you haven’t known me nearly as well," I shrugged like it wasn’t that big of a deal, but I was woman enough to admit that I was scared. If I chose Bai Long Qiang and the guys, they would treat me as they had before. But I didn’t want to go back to being that person.

I was a people pleaser; I hated the idea of upsetting Bai Long Qiang, and because of that, I didn’t argue with any of his decisions. Even when I hated them.

But I had too much taken away, and I wasn’t willing to go that route again.