Becoming A God In Another World With My Crush
Chapter 50: ...Of Elina

Chapter 50: ...Of Elina

TW: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE ( STAY SAFE)

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘❦✾❦∘∙⊱⋅•-

Kaehli..

Kaehli...

Save...us...

Now as Xander was standing in the middle of the field, his hand slightly lifted like he wanted to reach out but wasn’t sure if he had the right to. The silence between them stretched then it was broken only by the soft sound of her sobbing as she cried with her face turned away from him.

Her shoulders trembled with every breath, her fingers clutched tightly around the red fabric of her dress as if she was trying to hold herself together.

’Isnt she the girl in that painting?’ he thought, raising an eyebrow.

Then, slowly, she looked over her shoulder not all the way, just enough to meet his gaze out of the corner of her eye. Her pale face was streaked with dirt and dried tears, and her voice came out low and cracked.

"You were supposed to come..." she said, her tone raw. "But you never did."

Xander opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

"I believed in you," she went on, her voice rising slightly, bitter now. "Every day and every night. When everything around me was broken and no one else believed in anything at all... I still prayed for you."

She finally turned to face him again, her eyes glistening with tears. "I started to think you didn’t exist."

Xander’s throat felt tight, his jaw clenched as he lowered his gaze. "I didn’t know..."

"You all never do," she said, cutting him off before he could go further. "That’s the truth about gods, isn’t it? Everyone praises them when life is good. But when the screaming starts, when the monsters come, when people are dying ...the gods are quiet."

She stood slowly, brushing her palms against her skirt. The way she moved was still human somehow.

"My father used to tell us bedtime stories," she said softly, not quite looking at him now. "About the Kaelhi, about you. He said one day a warrior god would descend from the sky and change everything. That he’d protect the weak and defeat the darkness, that... he’d save us all from the Beast King."

She gave a dry, breathless laugh, and wiped at her eyes. "I memorized every word. I used to sneak outside at night just to look up at the stars and whisper to them. Just in case you were listening."

Xander swallowed hard and shifted his weight, but still couldn’t bring himself to move closer. He didn’t know how to fix this. He didn’t know if it could be fixed.

Elina finally looked up at him again, her voice softer now. "Do you know what it’s like to believe in something your whole life? And then die waiting for it?"

Xander looked away,

He didn’t have a clue what it felt like.

For a long moment, neither of them moved, the flowers around them swayed without wind blowing.

Xander was unsure of what to say or if anything he said would matter, but eventually, something inside him told him to stop thinking. So he walked forward and sat beside where she stood.

He didn’t look at her right away, just stared straight ahead as the girl sat down again, her hands laying limp in her lap.

"...I’m sorry," she said, barely above a whisper. "About your friends, I tried to kill you all. I think I would’ve, too. But you all are good fighters."

Xander turned his head just enough to glance at her, but he didn’t interrupt. He could tell she needed to say it.

Elina’s hands curled again, her fingernails digging into her palms.

"It’s like... being stuck underwater. Everything around me is rage and grief and... misery, and I’m screaming, but it never comes out the way I want it to. I didn’t mean to become that thing, I–i didn’t ask for this."

She shook her head, teeth gritted as tears rolled down her cheeks again, not angry this time, just deeply, painfully sad.

"I know what I’ve done. I k–know I’ve hurt people. I’ve felt every scream, every tear. I remember their faces. The ones who came here looking for shelter or food or just... just trying to steal something. I wanted them to stay, I just didn’t want to be alone again."

Xander swallowed, his hands resting loosely on his knees.

"I couldn’t stop it," she continued. "It’s like watching yourself drown, over and over, and no matter how loud I screamed, the darkness kept pulling me deeper and deeper."

She turned to look at him again, her eyes were lred and puffy.

"...I’m sorry," she said again, softer this time. "For all of it."

Xander blinked slowly, and this time, he met her gaze without looking away, but the question pressed gently at the edge of his thoughts until it slipped past his lips in a soft murmur.

"What happened to you...?"

Elina was silent for a few seconds, her gaze dropped to the flower petals around her feet.

"My name is Elina," she said, almost like she was reminding herself. "I can’t remember my last name."

She took in a trembling breath, her fingers curling into the soft fabric of her dress.

"I grew up alone. Poor and hungry most days. I don’t remember what my parents looked like. I think they died when I was little, or maybe they just abandoned me, I used to sleep in abandoned temples or under bridges, always pretending it was just temporary. That something better would come."

Her voice faltered, but she pushed through it, a sad smile tugging faintly at her lips.

"And then it did."

She looked up, eyes distant but no longer guarded. "A man found me. A mage. He had a home near the edge of the Shadow Grove, that cursed forest the villagers where terrified of because of the Nymphs ghosts living there. He was... kind. A little strange. But he gave me food, a warm bed, and then later... a family."

"I had siblings," Elina continued, her voice almost a whisper. "Not blood, but it didn’t matter. They laughed with me, played with me. I remember dancing under the moonlight while my new mother played the lyre. I remember falling asleep with the sound of her humming in the next room. I was... happy. For the first time in my life, I thought maybe I belonged somewhere."

She paused, her hands resting in her lap, twisting nervously.

"But then... the Beast King came to our village. He had been sending people to every region, gathering support, demanding loyalty. My father refused. He said no mage with a soul would ever serve that kind of monster, it was against his principles and morals."

Her voice cracked. "So they came at night. Not to take him, but to make an example out of him to those who defiled the Beast King."

She swallowed, and her voice dropped lower. "They killed everyone...veryone. M–my parents, my siblings, the servants, even the dog."

Her throat closed for a second as the memory passed through her.

"I survived," she whispered, "but barely. I was hiding under the floorboards. I couldn’t make a sound. I was too scared to scream. When I came out and I saw the...the corpses. I think... something in me broke that night," she said after a while. "I died too, I...I killed myself. Because I didn’t want to be alone again. But my soul... didn’t move on like theirs did. I remained in this house, I waited, I cried and I screamed. But no one ever came."

Her hands trembled now, clenched into fists in her lap. "And then I remember feeling so angry...the loneliness turned into something twisted. Every time someone entered the manor, I thought... maybe they’d see me. Maybe they’d stay."

She looked at him now, eyes brimming with tears, "I thought... if they stayed... I wouldn’t be so lonely."

"I just wanted someone to stay."

"But I hurt so many people," she said, voice cracking under the guilt. "I let the darkness...take me because it was easier than feeling empty. But I knew. I always knew I was doing something awful."

Her lip quivered, and she blinked quickly.

"I didn’t mean to be a monster... I just didn’t want to be alone anymore."

Xander didn’t speak for a long time.

He knew better than to fill the silence with apologies or empty comfort. Words like "I’m sorry" felt too small to carry the weight of everything she had lived through so all he did was listen.

When she finished, when her words finally ran out and her breath hitched quietly in the back of her throat,

He turned toward her, slowly, eyes soft and steady. "You aren’t alone anymore, Elina." he said, voice was low...he watched as her eyes lit up at the sound of someone saying her name. "I’m here now. And I see you."

Elina’s lips slightly parted as she stared at him.

"I know that’s not enough," Xander added after a moment, his tone quieter now. "And I can’t change what happened. I can’t give you your family back, your lives back. I can’t undo what you’ve been through. I’m not here to pretend I’m some great god who has all the answers...because I’m definitely not."

He glanced down at his hands, letting out a shaky breath.

"I don’t even know what I am most of the time. But I know what it feels like to be stuck between who you were and who the world turned you into...you know I ended killing my own father, don’t you?"

She nodded slowly in response.

"I didn’t come when you needed me," he admitted, "But I’m here now. And I swear... I’m not going to leave you like this."

Her lip quivered again, "I don’t know what I’m supposed to do," she whispered. "I don’t even know if I deserve to move on to Eldaria even if I could."

Xander looked at her. "Maybe that’s not your call to make," he said. "Maybe... it’s ours. Together."

The flowers around them began to wilt slowly, one by one, the color drained from the field and the sky above them, once bright and blue started to shift into something darker, like the dream was starting to collapse and come to an end.

Xander felt it before he saw it — a gentle warm feeling beneath his skin, where his mark was.

He looked down and saw the light growing brighter again, the lines along his arm glowing blue as they had when he touched the monster’s head. His body felt lighter, like something was pulling him upward physically as if his spirit was slowly slipping back into the real world whether he wanted it to or not.

He looked at her, not wanting to go just yet.

He didn’t want to leave her behind.

She was afraid of being alone.

Elina didn’t look at him, but she must have felt the shift too because she said;

"...You should go."

"I don’t want to leave you here," he said quietly.

She finally turned her head, just a little, eyes distant but clearer than before. "You have to. You still have a body...a life, friends waiting for you and I don’t."

He shook his head once. "That doesn’t mean I’m giving up on you."

A flicker of a smile ghosted across her face...and then, just as the light around Xander’s body started to pulse brighter, Elina smiled at him through her tears.

"...Xander."

He blinked, almost startled by how soft his name sounded coming from her lips.

"Thank you."

Then she turned towards the wilted flowers at her feet.

"...For coming back to restore peace." she said, "This Realm needs you, Kaelhi."

Then she turned to him with her stormy grey eyes with a smile, "And thank you for keeping me company...and for listening to me."