Alpha Damon's Greatest Regret
Chapter 90- Facing Mortality

Chapter 90: Chapter 90- Facing Mortality

DAMON

It was cold, very cold as I stood outside, staring at the moon, thinking about a lot of things and trying to gather my thoughts together but it was hard very hard.

My chest tightened as I remembered the doctor’s words

" You have a month, perhaps lower."

Damn.

It didn’t feel real. I had always thought of myself as having control over my fate, but now, I don’t know what to do anymore.

But I didn’t want to choose, but no matter how hard it was it was just too difficult for me to make a choice. Doctor Grace’s words echoed again and again in my head, pushing me back

I exhaled and stared at it in my hands. Would I really do this?

I can’t just lose my wolf, I was the Alpha, and I didn’t want to be human.

" Hey," a voice called from behind me. It was Carlos.

I turned to see him walking toward me, his expression a mixture of concern and confusion.

" You okay?" he asked, his voice fluttering and I saw his eyes moving to the bottle in my hand.

I hadn’t realized I was holding it, I shoved it back into my jacket, trying to hide it from him.

" I don’t know," I murmured, my voice thick with worry. " I just, I don’t know what to do."

Carlos stopped beside me, his posture relaxed but attentive. He wasn’t one to press, but I knew he was staying for me to speak — staying for me to say what had been eating at me since Dr. Grace gave me that bottle

" You’re not the type to back down, Damon," Carlos said, his voice calm." So what’s got you so twisted up?"

I looked at him, my eyes heavy with a blend of frustration and sadness.

" It’s everything, man. And Dr. Grace, she’s giving me a way out. But I don’t know." I shrugged and looked away, it hurt so much to think about it.

Carlos raised an eyebrow, confusion flashing across his face." A way out? What do you mean?"

" The capsules," I said, nearly plaintively." They’ll keep me in control for a little longer. Give me some of my strength back. But after fourteen days, I’m done. I’ll lose everything. The wolf inside me? Gone."

His expression softened, and for a moment, I could see the understanding in his eyes." That’s a tough choice, Damon. But it’s still your choice. You don’t have to decide now. But if you want to keep fighting, you can. I know you’ve always hated feeling like you’re losing control of this thing," he said, staring at the bottle where the capsules were hidden.

" I’ve always fought for control," I said, almost to myself." But I can’t keep doing this. Not when it’s tearing me apart. And if I keep going, it’s only going to get worse, Carlos. It’ll hurt people. It’ll hurt the people I love the most."

I hate being weak, to show like I was begging to be considered, to appear frail.

Carlos sighed and shrugged. But in that moment, standing in that quiet corner, I felt exposed, raw. I couldn’t hide the fear presently.

" Perhaps that’s the point," Carlos said eventually, his voice low but thoughtful." Perhaps it’s not about holding on. Perhaps it’s about knowing when to let go. And doing it on your terms."

Exhaling I stared at him and he was right. I just had to do it, I just had to.

Letting go. It didn’t mean surrendering, didn’t mean giving up the fight. It just meant accepting that too and then pretending it’s fine when it isn’t.

I exhaled deeply, the weight in my problems easing so slightly." But if I let go, what happens also?"

Carlos gave me a small, reassuring smile." You’ll still be Damon. You’ll still be you, with or without the wolf inside you.

Come on, man, you have me, and I’m here. You never have to do anything alone."

I stared at him, my throat tensing as I realized just how important those words meant. I had always been the alpha — the one who pushed others down, convinced I could handle everything myself. But perhaps that had been my big mistake.

" Thanks, Carlos," I said still, my voice nearly coarse." I don’t know what I’d do without you, man."

" Don’t mention it," he replied with a grin, his hand clapping me on the back." Just don’t make me come out in the middle of the night again, okay?"

I chuckled, the sound strange in my mouth.

"I think I have to think about this and get ready for anything that might happen. Not that anything would happen." I said and laughed shakily. I turned to look at Carlos and there was concern in his eyes and even pity but I silently hated it.

"But I can’t do it alone. I need to find a way to make this right."

Carlos nodded." And you will. You’ll figure it out, Damon. You always do."

Yeah, I was the Alpha and even in sickness, everyone was looking up to me expecting me to be strong, for myself, for everyone.

Hell, how would I do that? There were so many things going on in my head.

This wasn’t going to be easy, but perhaps that wasn’t the point. The point was that I had the choice. I had the time to make it right. And whatever that meant for me, for the people I watched about, I would face it head-on.

" Thanks, Carlos," I said, more forcefully this time, as I turned toward the room." I’ll take it from then."

He didn’t stop me this time. Rather, he gave me a nod, a simple acknowledgment of the trip I had ahead of me.

Then I turned back.

"Whenever I need you to ask anything you better come out even if it’s in the middle of the night."

His brows furrowed.

"Come on man." He laughed.

"I’m still your Alpha, remember?"