Alpha Damon's Greatest Regret
Chapter 41- Therapy

Chapter 41: Chapter 41- Therapy

DAMON~

"Can we go back?"

"How far?"

"Six years, to the night she left.", Her answer left me with a chill as my mind traveled back to the events of the moonlit gala.

"I don’t want to," I answered, my voice low with shame.

"Which means that’s probably where we should go." She insisted, crossing her legs and tightening her hold on her notepad "Tell me about that night.", my chest tightened as I opened my mouth to speak.

"I don’t remember." I lied. She stared at me before a small smile crossed her lips.

"Damon." She called, I raised my head to face her and she flashed a warm smile at me "Things like this can be painful to talk about but that’s exactly why you need to talk about them." she explained, hearing her words, I took in a deep breath and sat up straight.

"It’s just— When I think about that night, it makes me remember that I don’t deserve her forgiveness."

"Do you want to be forgiven?"

"Is that relevant?"

"It is, if you don’t think you deserve something you want, that means you just have to improve on yourself till you deserve it."

"You make it sound easy," I said.

"It’s not, I’m not here to tell you that you’re a good man Damon."

"Then what are you here for?"

"I’m here to make you into the best version of yourself," she replied bluntly.

"What if that version isn’t a good man either." She paused for a brief few seconds before she sighed and replied to me.

"The definition, of what it means to be a good man varies from one person’s point of view to another, some may see it as a man who pays his taxes, to others it may be one who takes good care of his family, to some it may be those who donate to charity, that doesn’t mean the others are wrong, it just means that being good is a matter of perception." She explained, I glanced at her but remained silent.

"What do you think it means?" She inquired, a smile on her dark lips as she spoke, the question eluded me, on the spot all I could think of when I heard a good man was the picture of my father, so what kind of man was he? I thought for a bit before I sat up straight and looked at her.

"A man who doesn’t take out his pain on others, a man who can lead without oppressing," I replied with a small smile curving the sides of my lips, a soft chuckle escaped her lips as she heard my words.

"Did I say something funny?" I asked.

"No, You just really look like him." She replied with a small smile, I raised a brow in confusion.

"Who?"

"Your father," She replied calmly as if she had just stated a known fact. I shuffled in my seat and focused my eyes on her.

"You knew him?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"Your father was a kind man, a good man by my definition, but good men struggle too." She replied with her eyes looking at the notes she made.

"He came here?" I asked, shock filling my voice as I spoke.

"Yes," she confirmed, not even for a second would I believe that my father had a therapist.

"That’s a lie." I spat.

"And why would I lie?" She asked a question I had no answer to "I brought it up simply because I know you want to be a man like him, but the image you have of him isn’t complete, You can’t replicate something that isn’t complete." She answered, her voice firm as she spoke, She had no reason to lie but still, I couldn’t believe it, my father was the perfect Alpha.

"But he never showed any sign of being disturbed," I said, the sound of my voice weak with confusion.

"Because signs don’t show doesn’t mean it’s not there," She replied. "Your father was a great man without a doubt, but he had flaws, like every man, he wasn’t perfect." Her words made me relax my back into the comfort of the couch.

"I always thought he had no flaws," I said inhaling then exhaling.

"Sometimes flaws are what makes great men great." She comforted me as he put the notepad down and looked straight at me.

"Wolves, Humans. All my patients have one thing in common, Flaws, but flaws aren’t necessarily a bad thing, flaws push people to be better, they are the driving force for every decision made towards self-improvement."

"Is that the truth, or something you just say to make people feel better?" I asked jokingly, she smiled warmly.

"Fifty-fifty." She said with a chuckle as she took up her note "Can we talk about that night now?"

"Sure," I said with a gentle nod.

"First of all, what was your relationship with her like before everything?"

"The gala?" I asked, not completely sure what she meant by everything.

"No, the night everything changed.", I stopped for a second before I spoke.

"We were close, more than just friends, it was more intimate than that, we grew up together, and her family was like mine, I knew everything about her, the way her cheeks blushed when she was complimented, the sound of her laugh, the color her eyes glowed when she got angry. I think I was in love with her, maybe she was the first girl I ever really loved but I was too scared she didn’t feel the same way to ever ask."

"Then why did it change so much?" She asked, making sure to maintain a soft and gentle tone as she spoke.

"I lost everything when that bastard chose to betray us, My mom died giving birth to me so my father was all I ever had, and he took it all, everything, he destroyed it without a second thought, and then he left."

"How did you feel, knowing you couldn’t do anything about what he did?"

"Powerless, frustrated, Why would he do something like that and just get away with it?"

"You wanted revenge?"

"I wanted justice." I corrected "I knew she had nothing to do with it but every time I saw her smile like everything was okay like she was innocent, I hated her, every time she would apologize to me I’d hate her even more, all that I felt towards her was hate."

"Why? She didn’t do anything wrong."

"I don’t know."

"Are you sure?"

"I don’t know," I repeated.

"Think a little harder, I’m sure you do" she insisted.

"I wanted him to suffer!" I shouted, my words coated with rage "Why did she get to go on with her life when I had mine taken from me, when her father took it from me, It wasn’t fair!" the words that escaped my mouth surprised even me.

"You wanted to punish him but since he was out of your reach you directed it all to her, did you think what you did was fair?"

"I knew it wasn’t, but every time they insulted her or hit her, It felt a little better, even though I knew she didn’t deserve it, it felt like the debt was being paid."

"Did you regret it?, after she left did you regret the way you treated her?", I wanted to answer immediately but the words would have been lies.

"Not immediately, when she left I didn’t really feel anything."

"But you feel something now?"

"When I heard her voice, I didn’t feel hate anymore, I didn’t really feel anything but every time I spoke with her, every time I saw her, I began to hate myself for letting them treat her that way because her life wasn’t great either and I made the conscious decision to make it worse."

She smiled as she relaxed into her seat.

"If she were here right now, what would you say?" She asked, I opened my mouth to speak but was interrupted by the blare of my phone’s ringtone, I was about to decline the call when I saw Carlos on the caller ID.

"Sorry, one second." I apologized as I picked up the call and walked to the corner of the office.

"Hello?" I said.

"Alpha, we have a problem," Carlos said from the other end of the call.