Zhang San, please behave yourself!
Chapter 104 - How Could I, Zhang San, Possibly Exploit Legal Loopholes?

Chapter 104: Chapter 104 - How Could I, Zhang San, Possibly Exploit Legal Loopholes?

Master Ma stood in the kitchen for half an hour, but in the end, he gave up on the idea of making food.

Not sleeping well really affects your appetite.

Forget it, just go to sleep.

So, Master Ma returned to his own room, didn’t wash his face or feet, and just lay down, hoping to get a good night’s sleep tonight.

Zhang San, who had just eaten a large pot of water basin mutton with extra lamb, also noticed that the light in Master Ma’s room next door had been turned off.

It seems that older people go to sleep so early.

Not like us young folks who still need to work at this late hour.

Therefore, after finishing the meal, Zhang San, intent on serving the people of Shi Family Villa, employed the Ghost Summoning Method, summoning all the ghosts within a hundred miles who bore sins on their shoulders.

While chastising them for their sins, he also gave them a chance at redemption.

"There’s a saying that if you don’t do anything wrong during the day, you won’t be afraid of ghosts knocking at your door at midnight. You’ll go and knock on doors tonight to startle the living as a way to awaken their consciousness and promote the punishment of the wicked and the glorification of the good. Understand?"

Under the force of Zhang San’s technique, the ghosts didn’t dare not to nod in agreement.

"This kind of awakening comes better from the young. Therefore, there’s an old man living next to me. Tonight, you all will take turns knocking on his door. Afterwards, when he spreads the story and startles the world, it will be your redemption. Got it?"

The ghosts continued to nod, feeling that what Zhang San said made a lot of sense.

Then, Zhang San went to sleep, while the ghosts started to organize their shifts.

Under a moonlit sky sprinkled with sparse stars, evil ghosts banged on the doors.

No sooner had Master Ma lain down than he heard someone knocking on the courtyard gate. He got up, put on some clothes, and went out to look, but there was nobody there.

On closer inspection, it was an evil ghost knocking at the door, but it had already run far away.

Lucky for him he ran fast, or I would have hammered you to death!

Master Ma went back to try to sleep, but soon another ghost started knocking on the courtyard gate.

In this manner, after being tormented five or six times, Master Ma, furious, directly dismantled the gate, dropping it onto the ground.

Are these ghosts nuts?

Why the hell are they coming to knock on my doors in the middle of the night?

Indeed, after Master Ma lay down this time, the whole courtyard became quiet.

But just as he had fallen asleep, he heard a loud knocking at his bedroom door.

Master Ma, furious, grabbed his large hammer and charged towards the door; before he even arrived, he smashed the door to pieces with a swing of the hammer.

He scared the evil ghost that had been knocking so much that it fled in panic.

With eyes filled with bloodshot veins, Master Ma glared furiously at the moonlight spilling on the ground outside the door.

As the courtyard trees swayed and creaked in the wind, the ground was engulfed in pristine whiteness, covered with shivers.

Master Ma thought to himself, both of my gates are gone now; you can’t possibly continue knocking, right?

Yet no sooner had he lain down and fallen asleep than he heard the sound of somebody knocking on wood.

This time, Master Ma didn’t get up from his bed but instead opened the third eye on his forehead.

In an instant, he saw two ghosts in the courtyard, slapping the dismantled gateboards that lay on the ground under the moonlight.

No way!

Are you sick or something?

Do you have some kind of special fetish for knocking on doors?

Master Ma charged out, and the two evil ghosts turned and fled in terror.

Master Ma, with the iron hammer in hand, smashed the two gates as well, then used Qi Transmutation Fire to burn all the fragments of the gateboards right there on the spot.

You ghosts like the doors of my house, don’t you? How about I burn them for you?

A furious Master Ma didn’t bother going back to sleep; he stood in the courtyard, wielding the large hammer, guarding for almost an hour. He noticed several evil ghosts attempting to approach, but they didn’t dare come near his courtyard.

What was stranger was that these evil ghosts seemed to be knocking only at his doors.

So, no one else has doors, is that it?

The next morning, with no dreams to speak of, Zhang San was puzzled.

Logically, he should have dreamed about the Eight Techniques of Hidden Ground last night!

Although he slept well last night, he just didn’t dream at all.

Had that old man from Sun Golden Hand gone AWOL for no reason?

You’re breaking the silver hair advantage here!

Zhang San was washing his face in the yard when suddenly Master Ma from next door called out to him with enthusiasm.

Zhang San immediately rushed over, "Master Ma, what’s up? Need help carrying water, or want some breakfast?"

But Master Ma had a cold look on his face and asked in a chilly tone, "Did you do this last night?"

Zhang San wore a puzzled expression, scratching the back of his head as he muttered in a low voice, "Sleepwalking? I had no idea! When I look at your courtyard, couldn’t I have dismantled your gate last night while sleepwalking? I’m so sorry, Master Ma, I’ll compensate you with two new gates. Apologies, I truly didn’t know about my sleepwalking issue."

Master Ma waved his hand dismissively, "It’s not sleepwalking, it’s all right now."

Previously, Master Ma had always suspected that this Zhang San was the one causing trouble.

But having seen Zhang San’s genuinely innocent expression and the apology in his eyes just now, it really didn’t seem like it was his doing.

Master Ma, who had pondered all morning in the courtyard without finding an answer, had just lain down at noon when suddenly a hasty rain arrived.

This time, Master Ma walked straight out of his room to look outside.

Only then did he realize that in the entire Shi Family Villa, only his own courtyard was raining, not even a few drops in neighbor Zhang San’s!

This definitely was someone doing it on purpose!

And in the afternoon, before Master Ma had a chance to confront Zhang San, he heard Zhang San organizing a group of children at the door, telling stories.

"Today, we’ll talk about the tale of the young leaf becoming a marshal, vanquishing the Demon Fox and pacifying the four seas!"

If Master Ma hadn’t been worried about scaring those children by rushing out, he would have really liked to grab a large hammer and swing it right at Zhang San’s head!

Even when dealing with that annoying carpenter with the surname Lu, he had never considered giving the guy a hammer blow to the head, but Zhang San had managed to do something even old Ji had never achieved![Note 46]

You damned kid! Just don’t get caught alone!

No!

I can’t get involved with the Path of Life and Death again!

I so want to kill someone but I can’t!

Ahhh!

Zhang San talked all afternoon before finally letting the children go home.

It was only then that Master Ma walked out of his own courtyard.

"Young man, come here."

"Alright. Master Ma, if there’s anything you need, just order me."

As soon as Zhang San entered the courtyard, he noticed a desk set out with a cushion on either side.

And on the desk, there were unmistakably eight delicious dishes, clearly the work of Master Ma’s culinary skills.

"Come, Zhang San, sit. I’m treating you to a meal today."

Zhang San sat down without hesitation while chuckling and thanking him, "Master Ma, you’re too kind. It’s clearly me coming to ask for a favor, yet you’re treating me..."

"Stop!"

Master Ma said sternly, "I’m the one asking you, please let me go, okay?"

"Master Ma, are we having some sort of misunderstanding? I’ve always been showing you goodwill!"

Master Ma glared.

"Then I truly am grateful to you!"

"What’s there to be polite about? I’m also in need of your assistance. How about you give it some thought, help..."

Master Ma, enraged, slammed the desk so hard that the large iron hammer against the wall in the courtyard trembled.

"You really think I’m thanking you? I don’t need your goodwill!"

Zhang San, unabashed, grinned and said, "If you don’t need it, I can just express it unilaterally. After all, it’s not illegal, right?"

Master Ma was furious!

"You prevent me from sleeping every day, and that’s not illegal?"

Zhang San immediately pulled out the Kaihuang Law from the Gluttonous Bag at his waist and placed it on the table.

"Look if you don’t believe me, disturbing the peace, it really isn’t illegal."

Master Ma stood up in a rage and exclaimed, "You’re just exploiting a loophole in the law!"

Zhang San wore an innocent face.

"How could I, Zhang San, possibly exploit a loophole in the law?"

Just then, from the direction where there was no gate, an old man’s voice called out.

"Who’s trying to exploit a loophole in the law?"

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[Note 46]Reference Explanation

The character referred to here should be guessed by everyone, it’s Lu Ban.

Lu Ban, who bore the surname Ji and the clan name Gongshu, was also known as Gongshu Pan, Gongshu Ban, Ban Shu, respectfully addressed as Master Gongshu, also called Lu Pan or Lu Ban, customarily "Lu Ban," with the style name Yizhi.

While I have a keen interest in ancient surnames and such, I must admit I don’t know much about them, since the surnames from those times are quite different from those we use today.

Therefore, the reference to Lu Ban in this book is according to how he’s commonly called, but he actually held the surname