Yours, Until Needed
Chapter 82: Turning Point

Chapter 82: Turning Point

All I could do was wait for Grandpa to continue. Even though I felt very uneasy, I had to wait and hang on to his words.

"I’m sure you have at least vague memories of my late wife, Lucian’s Grandmother." Grandpa smiled as he looked down on his ring finger, which still boasted of his wedding ring.

"You may have also heard why I worried about Lucian’s questionable personality."

"He said that you saw yourself in him," I recalled what Lucian said about the problem.

"Yes. His current personality was too familiar. I was like that before I met my wife. That little feisty woman." Grandpa sported a grin as he talked about his wife.

"I was too engrossed with things that you couldn’t really bring to the grave. I was alive but barely living."

"Then my world was turned upside down when I got pummelled by my wife. She had a do-or-die attitude and loved to enjoy life more than anything."

Just imagining the Chairman being pummelled by a much shorter woman was already something, and I couldn’t help but chuckle.

"From then on, I had a 180-degree turn and prioritized my loved ones. I think you could see a lot of that in this house. This showed how good life was back then."

I looked calm on the outside as I listened intently, but my toes had actually started curling in apprehension.

"Then, one day, we learned about my wife’s illness. At first, the symptoms were manageable, and for a while, we thought we could buy time to find a cure."

By this time, Grandpa’s brows furrowed as if he was reliving the memories he was sharing with me. And I couldn’t help but feel bad about reminding him of all this.

"Or maybe that was just me. As someone who used to be very task-oriented and who always managed to find solutions to problems, I couldn’t wrap my head around a problem that couldn’t be solved. How could there be a problem that money could not solve?"

Wow. This was truly Lucian’s Grandfather. The resemblance was uncanny. Even their mottos were similar.

"So I left in search of hospitals and doctors who could cure my wife. I spent years doing that. Which was really stupid, by the way. Something I wouldn’t recommend."

"Not that looking for a cure was stupid in itself. It was just that instead of spending time with my wife, I was out there looking for something she didn’t even ask for."

I see. That was why I hadn’t gotten the opportunity to meet Grandpa when we were younger.

"Hmm...I’m not sure if you remember, but at one point in time, our household was in chaos because my wife’s health suddenly deteriorated."

This was something that I definitely remembered because that was probably the last time I saw Lucian cry.

"Then we tried bringing her abroad, to the places I checked out in the hopes of curing or at least delaying her prognosis. But I think you already know how that fared."

It didn’t take months from the time Grandma left for us to hear the news of her passing, forcing the Sinclairs to fly abroad.

"Lily was obviously not there yet, and Rina was hospitalized at the time, so Lucian and his parents went. And that’s really how this problem started."

"You could just imagine my state when my wife passed. As someone who adored his wife more than life itself, I felt like there was no more use in being alive."

I sucked in a breath, not expecting Grandpa to say that. Such a man of power and poise. Hitting such a point in his life was something hard to imagine.

"The grief was too much for me to bear. And I could not cope with the situation. It was that unfortunate sight that greeted a very young Lucian."

"You see, even when my wife was sick, we tried keeping these negative emotions from the children. So all they saw were the happy times, albeit only a few had me on there. I was just away for far too long."

Now that I think about it, Grandma always had a cheerful disposition. I didn’t get much time to interact with her because of her health, but she always smiled whenever I saw her.

"So when they arrived only to see me in such a state, I think I’ve shocked Lucian far worse than the actual death shocked him."

"They had to keep bringing me into institutions to prevent me from harming myself. And Lucian even witnessed an attempt. Something that I’m sorely regretting until now."

By now, my back has turned cold. Just imagining a young boy seeing that has me reeling in worry.

"I have long forgotten most of what happened and how I had been driven insane for years, but I’m sure that I have said words that probably changed everything."

"And then there was that time when I have gathered enough of my witts to continue breathing. I worked and worked like crazy, eventually getting us to where we are right now."

"Back then, I worked because that masked all the pain. And I could continue fooling everyone that I have recovered enough to be unsupervised."

"And I think Lucian saw that as a signal. Because from then on, he had always believed that work trumps everything."

"That young boy may have gotten traumatized by how I reacted to losing the love of my life. Only to see how work could stabilize me, seemingly pulling me from the brink of death."

"But even when we explained to him that it was just a coping mechanism, he’s already had it in his head that giving your heart to someone would just drive you insane. Insane enough to want to die." Grandpa said as he cradled his chin with his arm on the table.

"So when he returned from just several months of accompanying me during the worst period of my life, he returned as a changed kid."

"Gone were his smiles and children’s laughter. Only to be replaced by someone allergic to emotional entanglements. If I’m right, Lucian’s afraid of losing himself, just as he saw me lose everything over the death of my wife."

I couldn’t help but comb through my memories of Lucian. He suddenly secluded himself and refused to see anyone. If not for begging him to house Mr. Fuzzy to protect him from Alexa, Lucian wouldn’t have faced me then.

He showed up for school and the afterschool sessions, but there were no more playdates and fun activities with Lucian.

I remember questioning myself if I had done anything wrong, and Alexa’s insistence that I had annoyed Lucian stuck like glue in the recesses of my mind.

I’ve been clenching my fists since earlier, and by now, I won’t be surprised if I’d punctured myself in stress.

"To this boy, love isn’t a good thing. He probably thinks of it as a drug, something that would get you addicted and then have you reeling from the withdrawal. So in his mind, if there’s nothing to care about, then there’s nothing to withdraw from."

Grandpa looked at me as if apologetic, something I didn’t expect.

"So I think I owe you an apology for taking the life out of that boy. And now you’ve got to deal with him."

I could only blink at Grandpa because who do I even blame for this? Fate? The heavens? Maybe God?