Yarra’s Adventure Notes
Chapter 295 - 7 - Inner Choices_1

Chapter 295: Chapter 7 - Inner Choices_1

"I am indeed afraid. Even when facing the metal threads in the treasury of Shining Forest, even when confronting the armored bulls on the Rhea Plains, I have never been this afraid." Catherine’s voice trembled as she spoke: "For the first time, I’ve realized that as a knight, I who should always be fearless and unyielding, indeed have a day of mental tremor."

"Everyone has weaknesses, don’t blame yourself." Pannis softly consoled: "Some people think they are not afraid of death, but when faced with real death, their true colors show. Some believe they won’t succumb to temptation, but they completely lose themselves under great temptation. Thus, wavering willpower is not so rare. Everyone may encounter it."

"Do you know? My grandfather was a demigod, but even with his demigod strength and ability, he struggled for ten years and ultimately lost his life, all just to repay a debt of forty million gold coins." Catherine shuddered: "My father spent his entire life struggling to repay the debt. After decades, despite exhausting every means, he only managed to repay twenty million gold coins. Yet just now, I heard of a mission worth ten million gold coins and I can hardly believe it. I dare not believe what thoughts rose within me."

Pannis didn’t speak, instead his hand that was resting on Catherine’s shoulder started to feel the ice-cold shivering of her body. Dressed in casual clothes, Catherine should be warm to the touch, but at this moment, all that Pannis felt in his palm was a profound sense of coldness.

"Before John finished speaking, a thought occurred to me. I wanted to make every effort to convince Passion to redeem the gem at a bargain price, then exaggerate the price to John by ten million, and pocket the vast difference in between. My second thought was to figure out a way to trick or steal the gem from them, then sell it to John for ten million, and reap even greater rewards." Catherine, as if having lost all her strength, slowly sank into the corner, curling up into a ball: "So, I immediately voiced my thoughts hoping it would frighten him. I hoped in doing so I could prevent myself, but I failed. He wouldn’t deter me but instead continued luring me."

"So you brought me into this, hoping I would tell you that there is a problem with the mission, and that we shouldn’t accept it?" Pannis asked quietly: "You want me to stop you?"

"Yes." Catherine looked at Pannis with hopeful eyes, like a dying person desperate for hope: "Tell me we can’t take this mission. Please, tell me."

"I’m sorry, there’s no problem with this mission, and it has a high probability of success." Pannis ignored Catherine’s pleas, shaking his head: "I won’t stop you. I can’t stop you. As I said earlier, this is a battle that belongs only to you and no one can help you in it, because your enemy is yourself, and nobody can help you overcome yourself."

"If I get this ten million, my debt can be immediately reduced by one fourth." Catherine buried her head into her knees, her voice muffled: "The rest of my life would be much easier than imagined, no more constant budgeting every day, no more desperately hunting for high-income missions. This should be a real life."

"Right, that is the kind of life meant for ordinary people." There was an indescribable temptation in Pannis’s voice: "And everything is fair, no one can blame you for anything. You are operating within permissible rules, no problem at all. Then, why are you still scared? Why don’t you just do it?"

"I can justify it to anyone else, but I can’t justify it to myself." Catherine’s voice choked: "I really, really want to get this money. But I know it’s wrong. Even with a thousand plausible excuses, it’s still wrong. If I find ways to get this money, there will be no turning back ever. My pride, my dignity, my perseverance, my knight spirit, everything that belongs to me, I would lose it forever and never retrieve it."

"This is the price to pay. There is always a price to pay for all gains, isn’t it?" Pannis, unsure why, continued to persuade: "When the ten million belongs to you, none of us will share it with you. You can even not let us know. It belongs only to you. Getting the ten million, you can use it to repay the debt or you can keep it. Snape, as your elder, doesn’t want you to pay off the debt at all. So, you can live a real life with it. Life hasn’t treated you generously before, but you are a girl who loves to enjoy life. Think about it, having it, you can rise every morning from your soft, comfortable bed like a normal noble girl. Breakfast is served by your maids. You can read a book under morning sunshine, enjoy a chef’s well-prepared lunch, and take a pleasant nap in the afternoon. Then put on a beautiful dress tailored by a personal tailor, go to the theatre to enjoy an opera, attend a luxurious ball in an evening gown, and be the star in everyone’s eyes. Imagine that, such a life should be yours, not the one where you bundle yourself inside an armor of steel, lingering between life and death every day, worrying about which bone might break or where you might tear next. Just leave such a tragic life as memoire, with the ten million; you can forever be rid of it."

Catherine’s eyes were tightly closed, her fists balled up, her arms wrapped around her knees and she remained silent. Pannis also stopped speaking, silently watching Catherine shiver progressively stronger. After a few minutes of silence, Pannis finally sighed, then abruptly leaned forward, reaching out his arms to hold Catherine in his arms, patting her back gently, like comforting an injured child. Catherine’s trembling gradually lined down under Pannis’s tight embrace; her rushed breath started to ease and her stiffened muscles slowly relaxed.

"Thank you, I’m fine now." Catherine lightly moved her body, and Pannis naturally loosened his arms. Catherine revealed a weak smile, her voice somewhat hoarse when she spoke: "You’re really relentless, Pannis, your attack was excessively terrifying."

"It was your attack, ah, I just amplified it a little." Pannis stared at Catherine’s eyes: "How was the effect?"

"It nearly broke me," Catherine admitted candidly, not concealing the intense struggle within her. "However, I’ve made up my mind. I’ll accept this commission."

"And then?" Pannis asked with an interested smile. "What about after you get the gem?"

"Who can say what will happen with something that hasn’t occurred yet?" The fearlessness and determination returned to Catherine’s gaze. "As you said a moment ago, one might think they fear not death, but might reveal their true colors when death really comes. As I’m not yet faced with the real temptation and don’t have the gem in hand, making a thousand decisions now is pointless. If you’d like to know what my choice will be after getting the gem, you can witness it yourself once the task is accomplished instead of hearing an oath here."

Pannis’ smile took on a complex cast as he held out a hand to Catherine. Using it to pull herself into a standing position, Catherine adjusted her dress and expressed a faint smile, "Let’s go and make our promise, let’s accept the commission."

"Actually, you could reject the commission," Pannis looked at Catherine’s retreating figure and sighed softly. "You didn’t have to agonize that much. It would have been easier to refuse it or set some self-monitoring and restrictions."

"Enough of the offensive. It’s not necessary to continue," Catherine spoke unwaveringly. "Aren’t you giving up yet? I don’t believe you don’t understand that if I had chosen to reject and constrain myself, if I had chosen to flinch, I might easily evade the crisis, but I would never face a temptation honestly again. I would have lost my courage to face any soul- challenging trials and become a complete failure. Is that the Catherine you want to see? Do you want to see a thoroughly failed wretch?"

"I..." Pannis laughed at himself sardonically, unable to continue.

"Pannis, I don’t know what happened to you before, nor why your attack suddenly became so intense. But I think, you’re seeking nothing but an answer," Catherine turned around, her eyes rid of all hesitations. "If you’re willing, if possible, allow me to express my decision through actions. Maybe I can prove, maybe someone can succeed in face of a real challenge."

"Is that really possible? Then, I shall wait and see." Pannis put one hand on his chest, bowed deeply, and said lowly, "My Lady Valkyrie."

The door to the room gently swung open and Catherine strode out. Her upright back and determined footsteps told everyone she knew that she had no more hesitation. She sat back down in her usual spot and turned to the commissioning agent who waited somewhat anxiously. Catherine told him, "Mr. John, you can go to the Adventure Guild to issue a confidential commission and specify your respondent in a while. We accept your commission."

"I am sincerely grateful." John was excited in his heart. Lost in the restraint of a businessman, he stood abruptly, "I am going right now, I am entrusting everything to you, Miss Catherine. Haha, I am going right now."

As she watched John nearly trip over a rug in his rush, Catherine glanced at the concerned looks from the two closest girls. She smiled, "It’s nothing, I’m fine. I just died once for a very brief period. But, I won’t die, so, I’m resurrected."

"That sounds familiar." Lina shot Pannis an angry look, leaving him with an innocent expression.

"Don’t worry, I’ve never felt better." Catherine smiled calmly. "Now, let’s get prepared. You’re leaving tomorrow. We all should strive hard. The future is only going to get better."

"Okay, let’s strive hard." The girls’ right hands were tightly clasped together. Just when Pannis was about to slip away, the girls dragged him back and put his right hand on their tightly gripped hands as well. (To be continued. If you like this work, you’re welcome to recommend it on qidian.com. Your support is my greatest motivation. Mobile users can go to m.qidian.com to read.)