Xyrin Empire
Chapter 584: Drunken Frenzy at the Celebration Party

Chapter 584: Chapter 584: Drunken Frenzy at the Celebration Party

The Holy Mother Ship, the racial monument of the Protos Clan, represents the proud spirit of this ancient race as well as their long-held mystical worship. These massive fortresses, reputed in space as the floating Holy Lands, bear innumerable glories and praises. Brave warriors of the Protos Clan have always regarded it as the highest honor to board the Holy Mother Ship and fight for glory. For thousands of years, the Holy Mother Ship has been their most sacred place, and even now, it remains so. Except for the Xyrin Apostles, who are viewed as mentors of civilization due to their high technology and understanding of the universe’s origins, and the Kepulu People, brothers in arms who have traveled through galactic calamities and founded new homes together, the Protos Natives still do not allow any foreign race to board their Holy Mother Ship. Even the soldiers of the Gotaque Free Kingdom, currently considered temporary allies of the Federation, can only stay in the docking area between the Holy Mother Ship and the Queen’s Flagship. Beyond that, lies forbidden territory.

...Sounds pretty impressive, doesn’t it?

But the True God’s Heroic Spirits, the most prestigious, diverse, and loosely organized violent gang in history, have now become the most troublesome group for all Protos Natives.

We all know that Protos Natives have many ancient and mystical beliefs. This technologically advanced race also follows a path of religious faith. If I could, I’d even mock it as the universe’s cultivation route. Therefore, the Protos’ exploration and worship of the world’s origins and cosmic laws are naturally one of their concerns. They attempt to refine their spirits to become one with the universal truth and to touch the secrets of the origin of all things. And it seems to be quite effective, as being able to harness Junior Ghost Energy through spiritual power is a good example.

And now we come to an obvious conclusion: the Dingdang Heroic Spirits, also known as World Guardians, are, in other words, the security guards of the world’s origin power.

You can imagine how conflicted the Protos Natives on board the Light of El are now. To them, the heroic spirits represent the world’s origin power and serve the universe’s true truths. Even without a clear place in the Protos’ religious system, the heroic spirits hold a very important emotional weight. It’s like how devout Christians would be perplexed if a group of Angels barged into their homes for free food and drinks. With the title out there and the collision of their fetish for holy artifacts and reverence for mysteries of world origins, it isn’t so easy to sift through.

And moreover...

"Bring one over! Sasaki! Bring another! You can’t lose to a woman in drinking! The boss has bet over a hundred on you!"

"Hahaha! I am the strongest! Whether it’s in battle or drinking!"

And when did I start mingling with this bunch?

Hey, hey, hey! This is on a Space Battleship, right? We’re still on a mission, right? You guys all realize we’re on the march, right? Which idiot initiated this fancy banquet that feels like the kind we’d have before a big villain’s downfall!

"Well, well, well, Ah Jun, just let them be," Big Sister urged, sitting on the ground like everyone else and leaning on my arm getting drowsy, "These heroic spirits are already used to this in Avalon, and you need to adjust your mood too. Don’t get too tense over those rebel affairs... Pandora, Visca, children shouldn’t drink!"

Since Big Sister has said so, let it be. But you know what they say, don’t point out people’s shortcomings or hit them in the face. Big Sister, you might want not to tease those two little Lolis who haven’t grown up in hundreds of thousands of years. I bet anyone here who can breathe has a better alcohol tolerance than you...

This gathering is all of familiar faces: Big Sister, the Pandora Sisters, me, and a band self-proclaimed as the "Heroic Spirit Labor Group" like Altoria, Sasaki, and Cu Chulainn. Oh, and there are a few others I don’t recognize, probably other heroic spirits acquainted with Cu Chulainn and friends. Typically, after finishing a task or battle, these heroic spirits are accustomed to rallying their friends and devouring a feast. Now, watching their liveliness gives me a side glimpse into the daily lives of this gang known as Dingdang’s Guard. Feels pretty much like Liangshan...

Sasaki is competing in a drinking contest with Golden Pica, the former naturally enjoying his liquor, while the latter surprisingly matches him with an unexpected capacity. Red A is boasting with Cu Chulainn; one is proficient in fishing, the other in versatile cooking. They’ve earned the reputation of the golden pair in Avalon’s Aquatic Club, and when idle, they gather to chat and banter, forming a duo with potential to be best buddies. Sister R also likes her drink, but tends to go silent when surrounded by a crowd, now secluding herself in a corner in a daze with her cherished PxP at her side. Medea, lacking interest due to her husband’s absence, sat beside her with a black thread hanging from her ear - I just realized they were listening to music together! I must take a photo of this eerily harmonious scene to remember!

With the Pandora Sisters present, to avoid tragedy, Hercules positioned himself farthest from me, chatting with a few unidentified heroic spirits from the mythological age but who, I’ve heard, are like him: burly Big Men. And another thing they have in common: they are all very wisely keeping a low profile, as the resentful stares from the Pandora Sisters were quite imposing.

Uh, talking so much, it seems like someone was missed...

Alright, although I don’t want to ruin someone’s image, the twitching hair sprouting behind this pile of plates and cups belongs to my King.

Sandora isn’t here; otherwise, Altoria, you would not have ended up buried under plates!

As for Qianqian, who never lacks presence, she’s not here. She declared her intention to freeload a meal elsewhere ten minutes ago and hasn’t returned since. Who knows which unlucky heroic spirit she’s pestering now. Hopefully, she has really just gone to bum a meal...

"Come to think of it, is everyone who got injured today alright now?"

"I casually spoke, but my gaze uncontrollably fell on Golden Pica. If we talk about getting hurt, she was the worst off today, singlehandedly taking down almost a third of all the enemies that the other Heroic Spirits combined had defeated. In the end, she even used her Deviation Sword to resist a joint barrage from the Hundred Gates Star River, looking like a teapot spraying blood from her shattered armor. Although I personally healed her afterwards, only a few hours had passed, and she’s already lively enough to compete in drinking with Sasaki. Isn’t her ferocious recovery ability a bit too exaggerated?"

"The mere scratches are nothing to this King!" Golden Pica declared with a grand gesture, her armor shining like it had just been polished and waxed. This fool really is full of vigor at every moment, oblivious to the fact that she was the one who couldn’t even stand straight leaning on my arm just before.

Thinking this, I suddenly felt something pushing against my chest. Glancing down, I saw Dingdang poking its head out from my collar, the little thing looking around curiously. I immediately realized why these Heroic Spirits had such brutal recovery abilities.

...Their biggest support was right here.

Sure enough, the little thing crawled out just to proudly announce this fact, "With Dingdang here, as long as the Heroic Spirits aren’t sent back to the World Tree, they can fully recover within three hours!"

Dingdang’s secret technique—The True Mass Healing Spell!

I was filled with all sorts of envy, jealousy, and hatred towards the little thing’s ferocious Divine Attribute Halo. Meanwhile, it curiously walked up and down my arm, marveling at the bustling scene around us, and then—as often happened before—slipped, screamed, and fell down.

But this time, an unprecedented situation occurred: she fell directly into a jar of wine.

And after a splash, the little thing was overwhelmed by the strong aroma of alcohol and sank to the bottom, completely stiff.

"Dingdang!"

"My Lord!"

"God!"

"Oh, my god!"

"Big Dragonfly... *crack* Boom!"

Busy as I was, I still managed to glance at Cu Chulainn, who was always split flying and never seemed to learn, before quickly reaching out to fish for the little one who had sunk to the bottom. Bubbles gurgled up in the wine jar, each signifying how much strong liquor Dingdang had guzzled. The circle of Heroic Spirits nearby were sweating from anxiety; after all, she was the source of their life. These little actions of hers could make the Heroic Spirits tremble, and this was no exaggeration—aside from Cu Chulainn, who was blown away, and My King, who was still merrily buried in a pile of plates.

Fortunately, it didn’t take long for me to pull out Dingdang, soaked and smelling of alcohol, curled up in my palm like a comma. With a shiver of her wings that released fifty years’ worth of rich aroma, she rubbed against my thumb, half-awake, and burbled out, "Puff haha, Sister Goddess, Dingdang is really full now..."

Done for, completely drunk.

"Ah Jun, I feel... something’s not quite right about the situation," Sister whispered, nudging my arm with a somewhat dazed look. It was then I noticed she wasn’t looking right and was shocked, "Sis, you didn’t drink, did you?"

"No, Sister knows she can’t hold her liquor," Sister replied, her face flushing as she leaned on my shoulder, her voice already becoming hoarse, "The smell here is so strong..."

Just the smell of alcohol was making her confused?

"However, boss, it seems like something really is off with the situation," Sasaki stood up at this point, looking around with a serious tone, "The ground, it seems to be trembling..."

"Ah Jun! Ah Jun, Ah Jun!" Qianqian’s voice suddenly came from afar, calling out all the way, "What are these things!"

When I saw the direction Qianqian was running from, I was instantly scared into a cold sweat by the scene behind her. Glancing at the Drunk Goddess in my hand, who was now completely curled up and exuding the fragrance of fifty years’ worth, I finally bellowed the words that would forever be etched in the memories of the Heroic Spirits, "Everybody run for it!! Dingdang has gone mad!!"

And so, thousands of troops thundered, shaking the earth and mountains.

It didn’t matter if you were a king or a noble, if you were one of the Nine Heavens Gods or an eternally unchallenged Heroic Spirit facing a goddess in her drunken fury, the only option was to scamper away in disgrace. When the tide of life energy swept over the entire Holy Mother Ship, even Golden Pica had no choice but to scream "Mommy!" and flee with us.

"Chen, what’s happened?! This is very rude!" Saber’s voice suddenly came from behind. It was all so sudden, and she was completely surrounded by her own mountain of dishes. The girl named Altoria, one of the few who was clueless about the situation, was holding a half-eaten chicken leg in her mouth and a salad plate in one hand. My king, whom I was dragging along, was floating mid-air. It’s tough on her, being in such dire circumstances, yet not forgetting her food and maintaining an elegant posture while gnawing on chicken legs mid-air – and still able to speak normally. How ferocious must her multitasking skills be?

"If you had the time to look back... Ah, crap! There’s more ahead!!"

With my cry of alarm, the cornered Heroic Spirits also started shouting one after another.

"We’re surrounded!"

"Reinforcements! Where are the reinforcements? They’ve cut off the main thoroughfare!"

"Hey! I am Zhao Zilong of Changshan, who dares... someone get me down from here!"

"In the name of the Sun King! Break through to the west!"

"The enemy’s at the engine room... whoa!"

"Sparta!!"

"God! What is happening!?" An unnamed Heroic Spirit next to me, wielding a huge sword, had no idea how to proceed. Cu Chulainn beside him couldn’t help but scoff, "Save it, Holy Knight. This is what we’re dealing with!"

No sooner had he finished speaking than the unfortunate Gunman was caught off guard by a Barbaric Vine that suddenly shot out, and before he could even raise his Long Spear, Cu Chulainn was bound up by the now-omnipresent vines like a dumpling.

That was still one of the better fates; there were two that got swallowed by Cannibal Flowers. Although they wouldn’t die, I bet they wouldn’t smell the same after coming out.

"Damn... mere plants dare to offend me, the king!" Similarly cornered, Golden Shining’s face, already tinged with a bit of inebriation, was now spinning with irritation. Taking advantage of her small stature, Sister Jier dodged the nearest Barbaric Vines in a few swift moves, then jumped into the air. Suddenly, as far as the eye could see, there were plastic ducks and Teddy Bears – she still had inventory? "Go! Wang Zhicaibao... Eh? Why isn’t it working, wah..."

The barrage of toys appeared in a flash, then vanished without a trace. Before Golden Pica could react, she was tied up tightly, hands bound behind her back, swinging over the heads of everyone.

Such a shame, though, that this girl was too flat, no matter how much you tied her up... Wait, what am I thinking about?

"Heroic Spirits still want to raise a hand to their own master?" I saw that the surrounding Heroic Spirits were practically all defeated, so I casually stuffed Dingdang into my pocket, "You all wait, I can attack these vines... Pandora, put away the ship’s cannons, this is our own spaceship!"

"Ah Jun! Use this!" Qianqian suddenly took out a Divine Artifact from her Personal Space, and then a whole pile of them clattered to the floor, "This won’t damage the spaceship!"

...This girl’s carrying a chainsaw around with her! Has my Qianqian been using her abilities so frequently that she’s about to turn into some kind of terrifying creature?

"Wahaha, Brother, this is so much fun!" Visca bent down to pick up the chainsaw, which was oversized compared to her body, and with a yank, she turned into Chainsaw Lolita and charged forward with a battle cry. By the time I reacted, Pandora, Qianqian, and even Big Sister, who was still groggy, had transformed into chainsaw fiends and began clearing a path through the Barbaric Vine and Cannibal Flower Forest spawned by Dingdang—it looked like a scene straight out of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

All in all, after about thirty minutes...

"Hey, Ah Jun, how long are we going to hang around here?"

"Wait until Dingdang sobers up..."

"Hehe, Ah Jun, stop squirming, it’s ticklish~~~"

"There’s no helping it, we’re tied together... uh, Qianqian, can you stop wriggling? It’s... it’s really making me hot under the collar."

The girl bound to me kept twisting restlessly in my arms, which was enough to set me aflame; thankfully, a sudden voice from behind me managed to cool me down immediately: "Ahem, Ah Jun, Big Sister is watching you from behind."

It seemed at least one person had sobered up.

Looking around, the scene was bleak—Eternal Emperors, heroes, all kinds of bindings and hangings. Although we had the likes of Lady Shining, who remained unchanged regardless of how she was tied, there were others like Sister R who were a pleasing sight—we’re not even mentioning Uncle B twenty meters away.

So, it appeared that a few of us, who were merely tied up like rice dumplings, were comparatively lucky.

I really have too much free time on my hands... Well, there was nothing I could do. The Heroic Spirits had all been knocked out by the Divine Power of the Barbaric Vines, and Lady Shining, despite her spirited cursing, only lasted ten minutes longer than the others. Now, other than letting my imagination run wild, there really wasn’t anything else to do.

"Brother, that dummy Big Sister is pulling my hair!"

"I’m trying to tear the vines apart."

Just as things had quieted down on one side, the bonded sisters on the other side started causing trouble again. Despite being tied up by these Divine-made vines, which were astoundingly resilient, Pandora and Visca, with a hundred thousand horsepower, still found the energy to engage in a little scuffle—never mind, I’ll just watch it as if it’s a girls’ love story. Two adorable Lolis bound tightly together, entwined intimately—you see, with a little imagination, it does distract from the boredom.

Where should I start? From Dingdang tumbling into the wine vat and getting dead drunk, or from a group of celebrators of a victorious battle hanging from the Barbaric Vines that covered one-third of the Holy Mother Ship, or from the moment when five chainsaws made of Interstellar Alloy simultaneously broke on the delicate green vines? I can’t help but feel today was a series of unfortunate events—a pile of Imperial High Level officials and the entire Heroic Spirit Army knocked down by a drunk God behaving like an idiot.

These vines were incredibly strong; their strength alone was outrageous, and they were all Divine-made Creatures, so regular methods were useless in cutting through them—of course, if we had gone all-out, we could have burned these plants to ashes, but that would surely have hurt Dingdang. So after weighing the options, since there was nothing better to do, we decided to just hang in there and take it as a rare experience in life.

The celebration for our hard-fought victory ended with a five-hour group hanging event, which was a painfully embarrassing way to wrap things up. The only solace was that Dingdang didn’t follow the Divine Race’s sleeping habits and sleep for three to five hundred years straight. When Little Thing clumsily crawled out of my pocket, I was nearly moved to tears—Qianqian was irritably was restless, and unsurprisingly, she herself had no clue about it!

"Hey, looks like everyone is having a great time!"

That was the first thing Dingdang said upon waking up, and I almost stuffed that little thing into a bottle to make a Goddess canned food on the spot. You clueless fool, you think you’ve got no responsibility after sleeping it off?!

"Eh? Does it have anything to do with Dingdang?" Facing the resentment from Big Sister and me, Little Thing just naïvely tapped her head while her gaze wandered over to the plaza where the Heroic Spirits were stretching or sobbing in despair, covered in Cannibal Flower slime, "Ahahaha, Dingdang was drunk at the time, didn’t know anything!"

Is that supposed to be an excuse?

"Please be assured, today’s events will be classified as top secret," Zeratul emerged from nowhere at some point. This Protos hero really wasn’t great at comforting people—in just one sentence he had all the surrounding Heroic Spirits crying, "The fleet has left the Super Space-Time state, and we are now seventy million kilometers away from Jetas Planet. We have received contact from the first exploration team; they have found traces of Archbishop Lilina..." (To be continued, if you wish to know what happens next, please visit www.qidian.com. More Chapters are available, support the author, support genuine reading!)