Xyrin Empire
Chapter 554 A Chaotic Day

Chapter 554: Chapter 554 A Chaotic Day

What in the world makes a vacation so great, if not the comfort of one’s own home—I know this phrase is loaded with sarcasm points, but for the sake of the rhyme, you guys will just overlook it, right?

I originally thought this would be an easy and simple short trip, but it ended up being an extraordinarily big fuss. Even Lin Xue, the Great Prophet, didn’t expect that it would turn out this way. Clearly, Bingdisi and the existence of the Ancient Abyss Gate interfered with Lin Banxian’s predictions, leaving her only able to see the beginning and unable to guess the end—these were Lin Xue’s own words. She only foresaw that I had to deal with a rather troublesome enemy myself, but obviously, the enemy’s strength took this girl by surprise.

The first thing I did when I got home was throw myself onto the sofa and then let out a contented sigh, happily watching Sandora, who had turned into the Cat Queen, comfortably rolling around on her own thick carpet. Although she often loses her composure around me, it only reaches an incurable level at home. I’ve become accustomed to this drastic shift in the personality of Her Majesty, the silly big sister type Queen.

As for the other silly girl rolling around, Miss Xu Qianqian, I have no comment on her lifestyle habit that hasn’t changed a bit from third grade to now.

Big Sister, of course, wasn’t like us group of guys, who had no proper shape as soon as we entered the door. She was about to help Anwina prepare bathwater and dinner for everyone. Seeing Qianqian rolling at her feet, Big Sister could only helplessly sigh, "Qianqian, if you really have nothing to do, give me a hand and watch Little Baobao, just don’t let her run around, alright?"

"I’ll go, I’ll go!"

Sandora immediately volunteered, but it was less about wanting to help and more about wanting to tease her own Little Princess.

"Thank goodness there were no big problems."

I rubbed my shoulders, which weren’t sore but felt particularly heavy due to mental exhaustion, and let out a sigh. Lin Xue, who was also lazily lounging, suddenly sat up and stared intently at me.

"What’s up?" Lin Banxian’s gleaming big eyes made me on edge. Her attention focused on someone always spelled trouble, more reliably than Big Sister’s curses. I’ve heard that in ’93, Lin Xue had listened to Huang Jiaju and in ’03, had paid attention to Zhang Guorong. In August 2001, she went to the World Trade Center; now that place is leveled. I don’t know if Lin Xue was involved with Bin Laden’s failed ordeal, but it’s said she expressed concern over Obama’s re-election prospects. Now, I’m just waiting for the obituary from the United States...

"I always feel like your head is full of bad thoughts that could lead to Doomsday, saying just one or two sentences could pollute the entire real world," said Lin Xue, her eyes rolling dangerously as she spoke to me in a threatening tone.

Indeed, this girl only shows her cute side when she’s not in her right mind; at other times, she always keeps her sarcasm fully charged.

"I’m sorry..."

I thought the usual storm of Lin Xue’s poisonous tongue was coming and prepared for a nap. However, to my surprise, what came was an "I’m sorry" from her, which completely shocked me—the conscience of heaven and earth, I wasn’t even that shocked when I heard that Qianqian had passed her history exam!

"Did you pick up something random to eat on the way?"

I looked at Lin Xue seriously, ready to rush her to the medical center if she nodded her head.

"I’m not Sandora!" Lin Xue, who had barely switched to a serious state, became as alert as a stepped-on Pikachu, "I’m serious!!"

"Truly a frustrating piece of wood—I mean, I’m sorry; if I could have seen more at that time, I wouldn’t have let you face such danger alone... These words should have been said back in that world, but..."

"But you couldn’t bring yourself to say it, so you pretended to be dumb, stubborn, and coy to hide your unease and the torment on your conscience, right?"

I glanced at the young lady whose face was beginning to turn red and was on the verge of exploding. Did she think she could deceive my penetrating vision? After all, I was the person in sixth grade whom the teacher once called sharp and discerning, although there might be a bit of a discrepancy since that was the comment I got from my teacher after getting caught passing notes with Qianqian—it probably meant something similar, right...?

By the way, that little note-passing incident didn’t affect Qianqian’s grades or mine in any way. Teachers who had the pleasure of educating us two eminent students generally believed that not even a discussion of two hours between a Yuanmou Man and a Zhoukoudian person would reveal who finally snuffed out Emperor Yang of Sui. For a test worth a perfect score of 120 points, the difference between sixteen and zero points wasn’t much...

Back in those history classes, Qianqian and I were such oddballs.

"You, you really, really, really excel at making me angry," Lin Xue hissed through clenched teeth, her voice eerily calm as she spoke with her head lowered. Her long hair moved as if it was Medusa with her locks lathered in Head & Shoulders shampoo, but I deflated her anger with just one sentence, "Alright, alright, no need to hide behind that facade, I really don’t blame you, it wasn’t your fault."

"Really?" Lin Xue was indeed trying to cover up her embarrassment and nervousness, albeit in a bizarre way.

Duh, of course it’s true. Did you think I, the Leader, couldn’t see that? I’ve been...I’ve mentioned this just now.

"Ah Jun! The hot water is ready!"

Big Sister’s voice interrupted the harmonious and friendly interaction between Lin Banxian and me (just pretend you heard that). While responding, I casually rubbed Lin Xue’s head a couple of times, "There, don’t overthink it, you aren’t omnipotent."

And if it weren’t for this girl’s timely assistance, by this time, there’d probably be nothing left on the cast list but a bunch of black frames...

"Are you used to doing this with your own little sisters and daughters or what?" Lin Xue pouted and twisted her neck to avoid my hand, then mumbled to herself, "Well, it’s not too bad...that doll...hasn’t strayed too far off track..."

"What?" I thought I heard something about a doll and couldn’t help but get curious.

"Nothing," Lin Xue flipped her hair and then lazily sprawled out on the couch, "I’m already asleep."

Me: "..."

Nothing beats a nice hot bath after saving the world, humming a tune and slowly sliding into the bath. If you’re a capable young person, try this after piloting a Gundam, and if you can’t afford a Gundam, go for a run around the outer ring road. If you still have the energy to climb into the bathtub afterward...

This is what life is all about! Seriously, saving the world and all that is the absolute worst!

Letting myself melt away in the perfectly heated water, I felt every hair on my body rejoicing. Although the external wounds from the fierce fight with Bingdisi had healed, the weakness from the severe drain of my spirit and physical strength remained, hidden just to avoid worrying Lady Goddess and the rest. Now, soaking in hot water, I finally felt truly comfortable.

Bingdisi, that monster, was truly worthy of being a High Order True God. While in theory, the Xyrin Civilization could almost rival the Star Domain Divine Race, that’s mostly in terms of the overall potential of the civilization. As for personal combat power—

Without comparing myself to those naturally twisted second-generation rich, or a Race that grants everyone as dumb as Stupid Nine an Undead Body... defeating Bingdisi really was a miracle. If it weren’t for my personal Void Domain momentarily bringing me to the same level as Bingdisi, I couldn’t think of any way to combat her. And in the end, I didn’t actually defeat Bingdisi; all I overcame was the Abyss Energy inside her. She stopped fighting willingly, heaven have mercy—the Rogue Goddess’s Wang Ba Fist is even mightier than mine, and now I’m reminded again of that damn Black Tiger Heart Plucker combo of twelve hits.

"Ahh, bliss~~~"

"Master, would you like Anwina to wash your back for you?"

Someone’s comfortable hum was suddenly interrupted by a voice, that, out of the blue, echoed behind him, sending him into a shiver, accompanied by a nearly audible squeak. Slowly, I turned my head to look.

A glowing little head emerged from behind the bathtub’s stand, the steam unable to hide the striking beauty emanating from that slightly pale face—this was the victory of the shortwave spectrum, as Anwina’s ghostly halo always had strong penetration power.

Ah—now is not the time to discuss whether ghosts are short-wave light, dammit! What we should be discussing is the major event concerning integrity!

"An... An... Anwina! What the hell are you doing!" I plopped down completely under the water, leaving only my head out, "How did you barge in here!"

"Because Master is here," Anwina said matter-of-factly, giving her head a little shake. However, in fact, there wasn’t a single drop of water on that luscious hair or on the maid headbands she wore as accessories, this eternally pristine constitution was truly enviable, "In the games Baobao plays, there are often such scenes. A qualified maid has to scrub her master’s back and whatnot. Baobao says the main purpose of a maid is to warm the bed and scrub backs. Although it’s a bit different from the teachings I received from the maid chief, it seems very reasonable, it’s just a pity that my constitution isn’t quite suited for warming beds..."

At this point, I was completely frazzled—Baobao again!

Have you evolved into an evil radiation source, child’s mother? Have you started corrupting the pure creatures in our home one by one? Last time it was Dingdang, and now even Anwina has been tainted by you?

Play some all-ages games, you forever-loli who’s geekiness breaks through the heavens!

"Although I feel a bit embarrassed," Anwina’s voice interrupted my rant about the child’s mother, "please cooperate with me, Master~~~"

Saying so, the little ghost maid who initially only had her head above the surface gradually emerged completely, and then, lightly lifting the hem of her maid dress and ignoring physical obstructions, she passed directly through the concrete pool wall and my body (how bizarre!) to get to my back, she murmured, "Hmm, my face feels a bit red."

Me: "..."

You still have capillaries to convey such complicated expressions?

"Anwina, get out—"

With no room for negotiation, I twisted around, grabbed Anwina’s maid costume by the waist, and flung it outwards, my facial expression indecipherably twisted.

My hand passed directly through the little ghost’s body; her weird constitution that allowed her to change her translucency at will was just too cheaty.

"Is Master unhappy?"

Anwina looked over here with a bit of nervousness; I reckon my face right now must be quite the spectacle, a complex mixture of happiness, embarrassment, testicular pain, conflict, and frustration, a VIP magical expression no less.

As for Anwina’s behavior, the answer is—this is too complicated.

I am very happy, in all kinds of ways, and from this moment on, I have one less two-dimensional death-inducing scene to be envious and covetous of.

But I’m more annoyed—had Sandora or Qianqian barged in at this time, the world would have been perfect! Why did it have to be this glowing mystery? From a physiological standpoint, ahem... I mean, this idiot is challenging my moral alarm bells!

That’s right, I am a noble person, someone with aspirations and ambitions, someone who has transcended low-level tastes, someone... someone who can firmly send a cute maid who barged into the bathroom while he was bathing away like Liu Xia Hui.

Because I’m quite concerned about whether Anwina’s reckless actions might disgrace my lifetime of wisdom, or, to put it more bluntly, whether Sandora and others would come charging in with cannons...

Under my insistence, Anwina eventually left in a somewhat dejected manner. Really, could death have twisted her worldview subtly? It was forgivable that Dingdang, that Stupid Nine, was easily deceived, but how could this adult who hasn’t been dumb at all, get corrupted by Baobao so easily? Does she even know what she’s doing? Don’t tell me the undead have no integrity!

The short few minutes of farce left me both physically and mentally exhausted. After Anwina had left, I finally felt a bit of regret... cough, I relaxed and sank back into the water to continue easing my muscles.

"You know, I never thought taking a hot bath could be this refreshing, and to be honest, the effect is almost inconceivable. What might have required over half a month to slowly recover from, such as absolute mental exhaustion and enormous physical consumption, now I can clearly feel them replenishing at a visible speed. An abnormal energy is healing my soul—something I discovered only minutes later. Naturally, it made me curious."

"Big Sister didn’t put something weird in the water, did she? Like Sanjiu Foundation Establishment Pill or something, did she?"

The more I thought about it, the weirder it seemed, so I finally couldn’t help but sit up in the bath, gently scooping up some clear water.

It was lightweight and emitted a faint glow, evaporating something in the air, which could be felt even without using mental perception. The energy contained here was radiating in a manner detectable by anyone, and obviously, it was this energy that was rapidly replenishing my spiritual power and mysteriously healing the cracks in my soul.

"Could this energy be..."

"Pfft-ha—Full speed ahead! Dingdang, you’re amazing!!"

I simply couldn’t describe my shock and disarray at that moment: right before my eyes, a little one about three inches long was floundering in the water, which I assumed was an attempt at backstroke. However, the two pairs of wings behind clearly hindered the standardization of the movement—she was just splashing around chaotically, yet she still managed to shout a slogan like "full speed ahead."

This is even more messed up! At times like this, I shouldn’t be thinking about the standard movements of a backstroke, right? The real shocker is why on earth is Dingdang swimming through my bath? Is today the day when the whole world gets shuffled? Could it only be on the eve of Doomsday that such a sequence of testicle-aching, utterly chaotic events occur?

Dingdang, what on earth are you doing here!

"Hey~~~" The little one who was swimming about so joyfully noticed my stare and immediately waved with a cheery greeting, "Ah Jun! Haven’t seen you for days!"

I calmly scooped up the little one, aimed for the window, and with a swoosh, she disappeared with a thin, high-pitched shriek.

Thinking it over, I still felt it wasn’t safe enough. I stood up and locked the window.

Returning to the water with an expressionless face, I began to seriously recall if I had done anything in the past decade so detestable as to deserve such horrifying bath experiences, and both times involved non-humans. The first time was at least something resembling a human, but the second went straight down a monstrous path.

That’s right. Sharing a bath with a palm-sized goddess qualifies as monstrous behavior, that’s what I believe.

"Yah! Why did Ah Jun throw Dingdang out?!"

The sudden voice by my ear caused me, deep in thought, to shiver down to my core as if I were unprepared for a bolt from the blue during a tribulation. My whole being was seared on the outside, tender on the inside.

"How did you get in here!"

Amidst the splashing water, I rapidly distanced myself from the new little one freely swimming in the tub and pointed at her with a face about to crack. "How!?"

Dingdang pointed at an exhaust fan near the ceiling, "It took a lot of effort to push open that flap! Luckily Dingdang is awesome. I managed to bite off the hinge, bleh, it tasted awful!"

Watching the Lady Goddess, who was still muttering continuously while freestyling in someone else’s bath, I felt this was not just a treat, but a scheme. In the name of my lord Dingdang—though my lord had just switched to a doggy paddle passing before my eyes.

The year 20XX, the X month and X day of the Imperial Calendar year XXXX, mysterious incidents abound, with Dead Souls and giant insects appearing in the Emperor’s bathroom. The Emperor is startled, and drowns.

My sister’s end! Can someone tell me just what is supposed to happen today? What on earth have Anwina and Dingdang randomly eaten at home that they shouldn’t have!

(To be continued. For subsequent events, please visit www.qidian.com. More Chapters, support the author, support genuine reading!)