Xyrin Empire
Chapter 520: Reality is More Chaotic Than You Imagine

Chapter 520: Chapter 520: Reality is More Chaotic Than You Imagine

"I was wrong, I really was wrong, what goes around comes around, immediate retribution in this life, it’s truly the result of creating karma..."

"Um, Lord Brother looks so desolate, Sister Sandora, did I do something wrong?"

Alaya looked at "Lord Brother," who was engulfed by dark aura as if possessed by Xiang Lin, and pitifully turned her head toward the epitome of detachment sitting gracefully on a majestic throne pulled out from her personal space, sipping black tea like a... uh, Queen.

"It’s okay, Ah Jun is just empathizing with another poor guy from a different world whose house we demolished."

"Sandora, if we accidentally smash someone’s yard in the future, we must remember to compensate them! This karma is coming back too fast!"

Upon hearing Sandora’s words, I immediately turned around, my face full of Xiang Lin’s sorrow.

The living room was full of scars, utterly desolate.

All the furniture had turned into fragments, covering the floor, and the newly replaced floor and the thick carpet specially for Qianqian and Sandora to wrestle on had turned into a crisscross of reddish-brown strips—this destruction was the work of the Mercury Lamp. The walls bore random deep gashes, each revealing a touch of performance art, Alaya’s masterpiece. A big hole in the corner exposed a water pipe spouting water—caused by one swipe of Sandora’s claw, and most fatally, there was a huge hole in the ceiling, from which brilliant sunlight shone down at a 45° angle, illuminating this bombed-out living room—another of Alaya’s contributions.

Of course, about thirty percent of the destruction was still caused by each one of us, which made me even more sad!

I had warned them not to use extraordinary powers, so why did they still wreck the house? Does punching through walls count as "regular force"? These walls are lined with interstellar alloy, damn it!

Indeed, when a group of superhumans gets involved, all notions of restraint go out the window, and the extraordinary rules mean that even if you have the gentle heart of Tang Seng, moving an inch results in the aftermath of the Black Mountain Demon. The only things that remain unscathed amidst super beings causing havoc are Third New Tokyo City and Earth-Kun from Dragon Ball—nowhere in the real world does such a bizarre place that can withstand a nuclear explosion and still be beautiful exist.

Including our house, which theoretically could withstand a full nuclear strike.

"I’m...very sorry..." Ding Ling stared dumbfounded at what had been a neat and spacious living room just moments ago, now reduced to the ruins of an earthquake, her voice thick with anxiety, "I didn’t expect this puppet to actually... I’m deeply sorry!"

Yeah, keep apologizing, I don’t believe you can actually pay any compensation!

"By the way, if we had used Time Freeze earlier, we could have caught her instantly."

Just then, Qianqian’s whispered words plunged us all into silence.

"Why didn’t you say so earlier!?"

Qianqian scratched her hair and grinned sheepishly at me, "Because, seeing a puppet that can move by itself seemed fun, I only thought about playing!"

"And, it seems it would’ve been easy to catch her with a Space Jump, too."

As soon as Qianqian finished speaking, Sandora also suddenly realized and clapped her hand to her palm.

I immediately glared at this likewise after-the-fact girl.

Sandora also giggled sheepishly: "Because... it’s fun."

Fun isn’t an excuse for demolishing houses! Can’t these two silly girls think like humans just once!? Sandora, you’re an alien, so be it, but Qianqian, you... never mind, making Qianqian think normally is harder than changing Sandora’s worldview.

Might as well let them have their fun; after all, King You of Zhou once lit beacon fires to amuse his concubines, and though he met a grim end, at least he was entertained for the moment. As the Imperial Leader, demolishing my own house to make my sister happy shouldn’t count as an unspeakable crime...

Sandora and Qianqian could be forgiven, but the main culprit causing all this certainly needed a talking-to!

With this thought, I fiercely directed my judging gaze towards the arrogant doll girl who, surrounded by a circle of superhumans and somewhat flustered from the recent intense skirmish, still swept her angry gaze over everyone.

"Sit down, hands behind your back!"

Mercury Lamp was momentarily shaken by my sudden burst of authority. Then... she simply pretended not to hear.

"Ah Jun, Ah Jun, you’re being ignored~~~" Qianqian immediately started shouting gleefully beside me.

"Stop it," I coughed awkwardly twice, then showed a face that said I had everything under control. I turned to face the doll girl in front of us—who, despite being hounded into a dire state by us, still maintained a proud and aloof expression as if she were an unmovable iceberg—"Mercury Lamp, right? The first doll, right? Looking for your father? We handle similar matters. Why don’t you sign this contract first and become a Magic Girl..."

I couldn’t go on in the middle of my speech. I’d seen people ignore others before, but never to this extent!

Though such a proud, cold, and aloof girl could be hugely popular in animations and comics, having one right in front of you let you know just how difficult communication could be—comparable to the Eight Route Army trying to persuade the Pseudo Army to surrender back in the day!

I rambled on for ages, and this girl just stared blankly at some wooden fragments on the ground, completely ignoring me. If she even blinked once during that time, I’d eat the soup Sandora had stewed, pot and all!

"Are you done?" Seeing that I had quieted down, the icy doll named Mercury Lamp finally spoke coldly, "You think I’d fall for that? That’s what that woman told you all, huh. Hmph, although I was defeated by that glowing angel-like person and didn’t expect mere humans to possess such power, as the most perfect doll created by Father, I won’t be fooled by your smooth talk, human!"

I was inexplicably moved right then: it’s not easy ah, finally someone acknowledges I’m human! I’ve been out of this species for so many years!

Just for that "mere human" remark just now, I decided—30... no, 20... six... three is okay! I’ll give her a 1 percent discount on the living room repair costs!

But as touching as that was, I eventually realized that communicating with Mercury Lamp was just too hard.

One reason was her personality: aloof, indifferent, and distant. Even surrounded by a bizarre and powerful group of "mere humans" and trapped in an utterly hopeless situation, she didn’t show the slightest hint of friendliness—and we really couldn’t just bully her outright. The second issue was a matter of first impressions; Ding Ling had clearly used some plain lie like "helping you find your dad" to keep Mercury Lamp quietly in the box, but when she opened it, what she saw was a random uncle and a bunch of inexplicably enthusiastic women. Startled and feeling deceived, she was then uncivilly subjected to our violent gawking (stupid Bubbles!), and now Mercury Lamp’s look at me was almost the same as city management’s look when they see Sicaro.

This is class hatred!

"Pandora, you keep an eye on this little one." After another failed communication attempt, I finally declared defeat, waving to Pandora, who was idly making dripping noises nearby, and while there, I also made a slight jab at her 92.3 cm stature.

Mercury Lamp had no reaction, but Pandora got excited.

"Alright, alright, let’s put this trouble aside for now," seeing Pandora unceremoniously hoist the protesting Mercury Lamp onto her shoulder and both little ones quickly leave the remains of the living room, I then waved to everyone, "Now let’s discuss... Bubbles, why are you biting the handkerchief?"

The child’s mother was currently holding a white handkerchief of unknown origin, biting the corner while tears welled up in her eyes and vigorously pulling at the edges with a look of utter grievance, "Wuuu, the figure, my figure, my collector’s edition 1:1 posable, voice-enabled, limited edition, out-of-print figure... her father, you bully me~~~"

Even if you try to act cute, don’t expect to raise a human-like pet like Little Baobao!

Nearby, a blonde idiot who was stretching his neck trying to sneak a peek into the room where Mercury Lamp was taken, but forced to kneel on the ground because of Little Baobao’s iron grip, shivered all over and muttered to himself, "Ah? I feel like something very important of mine was just destroyed."

That’s your long-gone human rights, pal.

"Ding Ling, about the appearance of this doll, do you have any more information?"

I turned my gaze to Ding Ling, as the first witness to Mercury Lamp, she should know more.

"Like what?" Ding Ling looked at us, puzzled, "This is my first time dealing with this, I don’t know what counts as related to transmigration."

I thought about it and then explained with my fingers, "Like sudden flashes of lightning, a black hole appearing in the sky, a white-bearded old man pounding on your door in the middle of the night, or a ’yes’ or ’ok’ dialog box popping up on your screen while you’re surfing the web—these myriad strange phenomena are abundant and varied."

Ding Ling blinked her eyes and blurted out, "You weren’t a loser before you ascended the throne, were you?"

Hey, that’s a personal attack!

Under our detailed questioning, Ding Ling finally described as much as possible about what had happened that night. But just as she initially said, the arrival of the Mercury Lamp was quite sudden—it simply smashed through the glass and landed on the bed at around one or two in the morning, without even a trace of a five-colored auspicious cloud. After that, Ding Ling also pulled up the surveillance video from her family’s estate. After watching recordings from over a dozen cameras with bleary eyes, she concluded that the Mercury Lamp had appeared directly at her window.

Miss’s bedroom window was the only blind spot in all the surveillance systems.

"Perfect aim," Ding Ling eventually summarized, "If it had been slightly off, that arrogant doll would definitely be a lot more docile now!"

But, I think the bigger possibility is that you had to explain the collapsed wall to your dad the next day.

"Sivis," I thought for a moment and then connected with the communication link of Shadow City, "Have the Space-Time Management Center check the current space stability around Earth and analyze any possible space-time fissures that might have appeared within the last seventy-two hours. Also, look at the records from the last major space sniffing operation to find worlds similar to Earth’s environment."

"Understood."

"That’s not very effective," Sandora shook her head, "If it’s just a single transmigrator, the spatial disturbance caused will be very limited and will be smoothed out by universal laws after forty-eight hours. Plus, the worlds scanned during a space sniffing are too limited and inter-world travel doesn’t follow the rules of proximity."

"Better than doing nothing," I shrugged my shoulders, "Not to mention, this time we encountered a reverse-transgressor—and what’s more ridiculous, the one who crossed over is such an awkward guy."

After forcefully hauling Bubbles, who kept muttering ’figures, figures’ and tried more than once to sneak past us to kidnap the Mercury Lamp, back to her own room, Big Sister began arranging for a few low-level puppets to take care of tidying and repairing the living room. Then Ding Ling stood up to take her leave.

"As a normal human who thinks more clearly than Lin Xue, I think it’s better for me to stay away from your circle."

That’s what the mouthy Miss Ding, unpopular like Lin Xue, said. Her second sentence was, "Considering I’ve provided such valuable information and a precious transmigration sample, could you possibly give some substantial reward or something?"

I gave her a universal crystal chip of the Empire; as long as she could find a place to swipe it on Earth, even buying a small warship wouldn’t be a problem. Then, we saw off the grudge-filled Miss.

"Flap, flap—"

The sound of wings flapping rang out behind me; Anwina, in her big crow form, flew out of her nest and then... abruptly landed on the unsuspecting Little Baobao’s head, scaring the little girl so much her eyes went wide.

"Wow! Sorry, little mistress!"

The Medivh-version Little Ghost, after transforming, immediately began clumsily consoling the little mistress whom she just knocked into tears, muttering continuously, "It’s over, it’s over, the dream of becoming a top maid is shattered!"

"What a noisy ruckus," I rubbed my temples as I watched the kids crying, adults squabbling, and a construction crew busy at work, feeling like I had entered the East Street Dog Market, "Dingdang, come with me."

"Oh!" The Lady Goddess, who was busy planting corn cannons in the living room, immediately responded cheerfully and followed along.

A few minutes later, in Shadow City, World Tree zone.

"Dingdang, your turn to work." I grabbed the little thing who was spreading tablecloth on her head and snacking on cookies, crumbs falling everywhere.

Little One looked up at me, confusion sparkling in his mung-bean-like eyes.

"You idiot! Check if there’s anything wrong with the World Tree!"

I’m seriously going to be killed by frustration by this ’God’ who doesn’t have a single positive feature. Could his only purpose in taking this role have been to implement 2012?

"Whoa!" Dingdang shivered with fright when I yelled in exasperation, only to realize later, "Oh, right, if it’s a transmigration, the temple should have responded..."

It was only then that Dingdang started to feel anxious, hastily leaving behind those words as she turned into a green light, merging into the trunk of the World Tree that pierced through the heavens like an immense cliff.

Seconds later, a faint green halo began to appear around the World Tree, and a line of towering characters showed up on its trunk:

System self-check―0.0001%, estimated completion time―over a hundred years. Rights reserved by the Order God’s temple, unauthorized duplication will be prosecuted.

Below, in smaller characters: Lanhai Chinese New Year cracked version v1.1.

Standing under the World Tree and staring at that formidable line of characters, I wondered if Sun Wukong had looked the same when he faced Ruyi Jingu Bang: looking up, feeling backache, looking down, cursing.

"Dingdang! What have you done! A system self-check for a hundred years, a hundred years!"

No sooner had I spoken than Dingdang’s frantic yelling filled the spiritual connection:

"Oh no, why is it an operational error..."

"Manual, manual... found it! Eh? The serial number has expired? Dingdang remembers this is the idiot-proof cracked version..."

"Ah Jun, wait a moment! Dingdang is going to restart the timeline!"

"Wuwuwu, what in the world does ’system architecture guidance error’ mean? I can’t understand it at all!"

"All over the place, clanging and banging, thundering..."

Outside the World Tree, the more I listened, the more terrified and chilled I became. Which jerk said 2012 was doomsday? With our ’God’ around, could Earth even make it to 2012?

Watching the World Tree tremble continuously in front of me, data flickering rapidly across its trunk, and the leaves―each the size of a small basketball court―thundering, I began to wonder if the book was going to nonsensically end just like that. Then, very abruptly, everything quieted down.

The sky didn’t collapse, and the ground didn’t cave in; the nearly-crashed World Tree finally restarted successfully.

"Phew, thank goodness Dingdang found the system restore manual."

A green light flashed before me, and the Little Goddess, wiping the sweat from her forehead, appeared in front of me and then plopped onto my shoulder: "Ah Jun, the World Tree really did detect a fault!"

With all that commotion you just caused, even if the World Tree wasn’t faulty, it’d become faulty now!

"Really, really," it seemed as if she saw the resentment on my face, and Dingdang started to explain pitifully, "The World Tree was actually faulty before. Just now, Dingdang saw several branches on its east side withering, so the system suddenly went into self-check mode, Dingdang is really amazing..."

"Okay, okay, the amazing Lady Goddess," though resentful, I of course wouldn’t really scold Dingdang. As the last ranked, I never had much hope for her, "Are you saying the World Tree Temple has a fault? Could a transmigrator trigger this kind of fault?"

"Of course not!" Dingdang immediately shook her head, "Though Dingdang is using a pirated system, the security level of the world management terminal is really high. One or two accidental transmutations by mortals can’t possibly disturb the world’s balance, unless it’s a large-scale imbalance..."

Dingdang began to slow down as she spoke, then finally realized something and yelled out, "Wow! Dingdang is in big trouble now!" (To be continued. For more, please visit www.qidian.com. More Chapters available. Support the author, support genuine reading!)