World After Worlds
Chapter 361 - 361: § ROLES §

Life can be too vibrant or too dull, some live a lot more complicated than anyone and some may live simpler. People often think that they are living an average life or those who we consider as the extras, and some of them think they are the main character as they lived for the life of extreme. They are their series of choices and thoughts and actions, that would be their personality.

Their possession and status define their individuality, the one that would be known to society. When you think about it, you can't be just a single role person. You are more than a reader or a writer, you would always be someone else's daughter or son. Sometimes you are also a sibling, someone else's friend. For others, you might be a toxic person or an inspirational one.

The main character wouldn't always be someone who is a damsel in distress, or the willed-power adventurer. A variety of people would form from their experience and response about the situation. A side character isn't someone aloof or modest, they could be quirky and interesting. Who decides which would be playing the main role? Or the villain? Or the side-kick? Who made the second leads, second leads? Who wrote the happy ending or the tragic one? Which person did say, it's the end of this story?

In the book, that person would be the author. In your life, that would be you. When fate gives you a chance for a thrill, you either choose to sleep or dive into action. We never know the outcome of our decisions, that's why the future is such a mystery. Yet, the reason why it happened is because of you. You are your driver, you are your writer.

People, events, things, and places are some variables that could get in your way. However, again, life is such a mystery, if your plan happens just the way you always want it. Fate wasn't doing its job, giving you the complication and the chills.

This is a game, life is all about the people we meet, and the person we become, and how you thought you lived your life. Do you want it to be romantic? Terrifying? Adventurous? Fulfilling? Suspenseful? Adorable and fluff? Hot and spicy? Or do you just want to lie in your bed with your phone because you are too lazy to do anything?

Yanarym played a lot of roles, considering her life at this moment, she made a lot of decisions that shifted to circumstances and events. She even gets to choose how she would die and where she could go after death. Her life before this one felt exhausting, she's been riding with the flow and it brought her to the life she likes but also gets frustrated about it.

The first version of Yanarym would be proud if she knew that this is her future. Although it's tiring, she could say, it's exciting. She has to die for the fourth time just to sink-it-in to her head that her life is nothing but purpose and goals. Without those, she would be laying flat and living like a bum on her bed, seeking life and color on someone else's story.

Some may have goals for themselves, conviction to be a certain someone they wanted to be. But she isn't like one, she doesn't know what she should become. She had a lot of dream careers but she dreams to be one because it looks interesting when someone else plays the role. But it wasn't fulfilling her just the way she thought it would.

This kind of woman, who transmigrates on books or worlds of a certain character to do them justice. Did she wish for this? She didn't. But maybe her mind thought of it, she still thinks that everything that happened to her is either what she wanted or just the fate that paved her path of purpose. There's no more question of what she's going to do with her life? What's next after this? She's Yanarym, and in this world, she's their karma.

"Why would you be the bad guy? Why are you the good guy? Why do you keep on threatening me and forcing me?" Yanarym mumbled in her breath, Lyndon was startled hearing her speak her thoughts.

Which never occurred ever since they had their first sex. She wasn't looking at him but her eyes were firm as if she's irritated with what he had told her.

"What's going on with you?" He creased his brows, he couldn't read her. "Why are you so complicated?"

She was usually not this hard to understand but something was different, like before when the incident on the field happened.

He doesn't like this, why does she keep on changing? He couldn't keep up, he doesn't want her changing.

"I may be in love with you but I have limitations too." She uttered in a whisper, he almost didn't hear her. Maybe, it should be better that he didn't hear it. "I told you before that I would do anything for you but I'm tired."

Lyndon's confused at the same time, she's making sense, she's making it clear for him. What has changed…

"I don't fucking understand the word you are saying Yanarym." He snarled, Yanarym raised her head and met his eyes. He silently held his breath as they locked onto each other's eyes.

"I don't ...want this anymore." She uttered in a stammering voice. He didn't leave her eyes as they began to swell. "I don't w-want you anymore. I'm t-tired… of this all."

He sneered, a grin appeared on his face with his eyes blackened. He's right, he was not overthinking all this time, she was slipping away, he's losing her… she's falling for that fucktard.

'Tired?' Is he supposed to believe that? What's so tiring about this? She doesn't even do much! All she did was to keep an eye on Kraig, did he ever ask her to do complicated things? He didn't! How can she be tired?!

The sneer on his face vanished, he stared at her blankly and she didn't look away. Her eyes show conviction about this conversation.

"Yanarym, you're not making sense, do you know that? At least, try to make some effort if you're cutting me off because you are falling in love with that fucktard!" He screamed at her face, he wasn't intending to lose his temper.

But he's losing it, the tightening of his chest, the irritable hollowness in his being, consuming his sanity. He clenched his jaw and grabbed her chin.

"I'm not stupid, Rym."

Yanarym was firmly closing her eyes as her tears fell to her cheeks. Lyndon inhaled sharply, he didn't want to give in to her. He's the man in this relationship, he controls them, he controls her and not the other way around!

"Look at me," he mumbled, she remained unmoved which annoyed him. "Open your fucking eyes and look at me!" He felt her body trembling beneath him. "I told you to think of your words wisely---"

"Y-you don't even love me!" She intervened with a scream. He peered at her as she was staring at him with a painful expression. "You never cared about me! When I-I'm with you, all you asked was about Kraig's schemes! And if not, you would be using my body to satisfy your needs! Well, I want to be the best for you, despite Tiana's presence in your life, I still hope that you will appreciate me. But no! I'm nothing but your tool, you don't even recognize me as your person, I'm just your vessel for entertainment and revenge!" Her tears were streaming to her face like a river, her eyes were full of emotion that Lyndon couldn't understand. He was overwhelmed when she burst out, he was anticipating that he would be the one who's bumming her but she's the one telling him off right now.

"A-and you are accusing me of falling in love with someone else?! Do you know how much I love you?! I love you so much that I could swallow my tears, seeing you happy with another woman! I love you so much that I could pretend to love some other man! I love you so much that I let you ravage me in bed with no respect. I love it so much that it hurts a lot! I'm tired, I'm just tired! L-Lyndon, I'm t-tired of loving you… I d-don't w-want this anymore." She wailed and buried her face in her palms. Lyndon couldn't move or speak.

Every sob that she does, every whimper, and every tear falling from her eyes. It affects him, it's breaking his heart too. This is confusing for him...

"Y-y...you d-don't even l-love m-me…" She mumbled, stammering and trembling. He was about to reach out to her face and wipe her tears but he stopped. He froze at his spot while peering at her crying face... What was that?