When the Wild Beast is Trapped in the Nightmare Cycle (BL)
Chapter 227: Must Not Lose Him

Chapter 227: Must Not Lose Him

Actually, the question he was going to ask back then was— "If I can’t make it through, can you leave me alone?"

At least, when he knew that his demise was inevitable, he did not want Jin Jiuchi to witness the grotesque transformation he’d undergo in his final moments. But after what he had experienced in the test, he changed his mind. He couldn’t bear the notion of Jin Jiuchi looking away from him, no matter how monstrous his appearance or how unsightly he might become.

It shocked him how greedy he was. It seemed like Jin Jiuchi would always be able to evoke a side of him he didn’t even know existed before. People might think that Jin Jiuchi was the more clingy one between them, more passionate and possessive, little did they know— it was because Shen Nianzu never showed what he was feeling within. He feared that if he were to let his guard down, his feelings for Jin Jiuchi would grow uncontrollable, and cloud his judgment and rationality.

Take the question he had just posed for example. He did not actually know what he wanted to hear. Did he want Jin Jiuchi to admit that he would never kill him? But it was the right action to take, no? If it happened to Gu Luoxin, Shen Nianzu would eliminate him without any hesitation, all to preserve the humanity within him. In a way, he truly commended what the deceased King had done. But change it to Jin Jiuchi, and he no longer knew the right thing to do.

Fine, Shen Nianzu admitted it; he wanted to hear that Jin Jiuchi could not bear to take his life. He wished that the man could never bring himself to harm him, regardless of the risk and consequences. He was just greedy that way.

"What would I have done?" Jin Jiuchi rubbed his chin and contemplated his answers. Shen Nianzu swallowed thickly and waited with bated breath, only to hear Jin Jiuchi say, "If it’s up to me, I would probably eat you..." he grinned, mischief dancing in his eyes. "That way, we can stay together forever, don’t you think so?"

Shen Nianzu: "..." Of course, what did he expect from this gluttonous husky? What kill or not kill? This man had been itching to devour him in a very literal sense from the start!

Shen Nianzu heaved out a sigh. Just as he was about to tell Jin Jiuchi to forget it, the man continued, "But I can’t do that because, as you said, I will never be able to touch or hear you again. Can you imagine how heartbroken I will be, Nian’er?" He clutched his chest with a wounded look.

Shen Nianzu was stunned, "So..."

"So," Jin Jiuchi contemplated for a bit before snapping his fingers, as though struck by a brilliant idea. "I know! I don’t think the infection will have any effects on me, so why don’t we just settle down here, Nian’er? We can stay in this Cycle, and after we get bored of it, we will move to another one. Oh, we can also find my brother along the way! How about it, Nian’er? I promise, you will not have to suffer. I will hunt food for us, I will also find a big house for us to live in. No matter what you want, I will go out and find it, okay?"

Jin Jiuchi was so earnest when saying it, as if he was really mapping out their future together. It felt like an adventure crafted by a child, rash and immature, yet for some reason Shen Nianzu could picture it happening inside his head. The two of them, navigating through the harsh landscape of the Cycle, facing challenges side by side. It was so ridiculous that Shen Nianzu couldn’t help but burst into laughter. He managed to gather himself enough to respond, "How could I tell you what I want? By then, I would have already turned into a mindless nightmare creature."

"You’re right..." Jin Jiuchi was stumped as the scenario had never crossed his mind before. But he soon regained his momentum and declared passionately, "Does it really matter? It’s okay even if Nian’er doesn’t speak, I will definitely be able to sense your mood. If that’s the case, wouldn’t I know what you want?"

Unable to help it, Shen Nianzu’s laughter rang out again, light and carefree, though he tried to stifle it until his shoulders shook.

Again, Jin Jiuchi had given him an answer out of his expectations. When he was caught between two choices, Jin Jiuchi would always offer him a new insight, telling him that countless possibilities existed in this world. Yes, the plan was rash and immature, but at the same time, it was also full of optimism and hope, a stark contrast to Shen Nianzu who always had to plan everything meticulously and always assumed the worst in everything.

Jin Jiuchi always threw him off balance, destroying the plans he had carefully crafted, yet he also brought with him a sense of thrill and exhilaration that Shen Nianzu had never experienced before. One that made him feel alive.

Perhaps this was what they meant by ’opposite attracts’. Despite knowing the danger this man might pose, he was still irresistibly drawn. Just like a moth that recklessly charged into a flame to embrace the heat, even if it meant to get burned in the process.

"Why are you laughing?" Jin Jiuchi asked in a sullen tone, slightly affronted. "Isn’t it a brilliant plan? Or does Nian’er dislike it... because I am not a human?"

Shen Nianzu’s heart skipped a beat, feeling as if his innermost thoughts had been exposed. "You..." he raised his head in surprise to find Jin Jiuchi staring at him with a rare seriousness.

That’s right, despite his occasional foolish demeanor, this man possessed a perceptive and quick intellect, heightened by his heaven-defying senses. Of course he would be able to sense Shen Nianzu’s wariness. How could he not? But all this time, he had never said anything, not even a word. Instead, he steadfastly remained by Shen Nianzu’s side and acted as if he never realized anything.

In a sudden rush, Shen Nianzu recalled the last words the Goddess told him inside the cocoon— You are very lucky. If only... if only I could find someone who believes in me wholeheartedly like you do, perhaps I wouldn’t have ended up like this. You must not lose him.

How many times would he encounter someone like Jin Jiuchi in a lifetime? Perhaps only once. And if he let the opportunity slip through his fingers, there would be no turning back. Even if Jin Jiuchi was not a human, had he ever tried to hurt him? Time and time again, he had proven himself to be reliable and trustworthy. At least, with this person, Shen Nianzu would not be afraid that he would fall.

"Foolish..." he mumbled under his breath, his lips tugging into a soft smile.

The sight of that smile set Jin Jiuchi’s heart aglow. "Does it mean you agree to—" his words abruptly trailed off, his eyes widening because the next second, Shen Nianzu leaned in, closed his eyes and gently pressed his lips to Jin Jiuchi’s.

.

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Mini theater

JJ: *dies and ascends straight to Heaven*