When the Wild Beast is Trapped in the Nightmare Cycle (BL)
Chapter 222: Taken For Granted

Chapter 222: Taken For Granted

Shen Nianzu was aware that he was not an emotional person. Instead, he was more aloof, detached even, and very little things could evoke deep feelings from him. But now, he couldn’t seem to hold back his tears once he caught sight of Jin Jiuchi.

A pang of ache pierced into his heart, so sharp and intense that the throbbing pain on his lower abdomen dulled for a moment. Every single emotion he experienced, every little shift and change, everything was magnified indefinitely with the impurities as the explosive catalyst.

His vision blurred, and his throat constricted so badly as if someone had dug their claws into the hollow of his neck. Grievance, sorrow, relief and joy swirled in his heart, each was more overwhelming than the other. He had no idea when it started, but he seemed to hold this blind faith in Jin Jiuchi. Only him, and no one else.

If... if it was him, he should be able to recognize Shen Nianzu right?

However, when he approached, Shen Nianzu noticed with sinking dread that not even once had Jin Jiuchi looked at him. Instead, his gaze was fixed on the other Shen Nianzu with a scorching intensity.

"Nian’er," he called out in a soft and gentle tone.

Shen Nianzu was very familiar with that gaze, because it was how Jin Jiuchi had always looked at him – sharp, intense and single-minded – as if he could see nobody else. Alas, never once had Shen Nianzu foreseen that one day, this gaze would be directed toward someone else, even if that ’someone’ was technically him.

Looking at Jin Jiuchi’s side profile, he finally realized how Jin Jiuchi’s attention had always been focused on him. But he had always taken it for granted because Jin Jiuchi was always there, with his shining silver eyes and dazzling smile, whenever he turned his head. As if it was natural, as if it was how things were supposed to be.

But now, he felt as if his feet had slipped off the edge of the cliff, and his entire person began to fall into the chasm of despair below. Icy numbness gripped his heart, making his lips tremble. That’s right, what was he hoping? How could Jin Jiuchi recognize him? Even if Jin Jiuchi had memorized every detail of him – his heartbeat, his scent, his footsteps, and the rhythm of his breathing – he was in a different body now.

Here, he was no longer Jin Jiuchi’s Shen Nianzu.

Nonetheless, he still found himself calling out for the other man, his voice choked and hoarse as if it had been forced out of the chamber of his throat. "D–Da Shen..." It was a voice so starkly different from the usual Shen Nianzu. Coarse, ugly and unpleasant to hear.

Jin Jiuchi turned to him, his gaze scrutinizing, and Shen Nianzu tried again, gasping, as he clutched his heart that felt like it was being torn apart, "Da Shen, please..." It’s me, I am Shen Nianzu. Please recognize me.

"Woah woah woah!" Gu Luoxin’s laughter was laced with disbelief and he rolled his sleeves up in anger. "After pretending to be Xiao Shen, now you even want to deceive Da Shen by acting so pitiful?!"

"Stop," the other Shen Nianzu intervened, raising a hand to halt Gu Luoxin from going forward. "Be careful or you might get infected as well. Da Shen, you should deal with him again."

"Okay," Jin Jiuchi answered happily.

"No..." Shen Nianzu whispered, tears seeping out of his eyes. But instead of dissipating into the sea, they transformed into dull colored pearls that floated around his wounded and battered body.

When the pearl loses its luster, is it no longer a pearl?

What kind of sickening joke was this? What kind of twisted scenario had the Goddess thrown him into? Alas, if he had retained a semblance of logic, he would have realized that this was normal. The Goddess had been cast aside by the merfolk clan whom she had cherished and protected for years, so naturally the people whom Shen Nianzu should deal with were his most trusted teammates. This was the real test of trust and betrayal.

However, Shen Nianzu was unable to think straight. Not right now. His mind was a jumbled mess and immense sadness weighed down on him like a boulder. He could no longer tell if these emotions were his own or remnants of the Goddess. All he could think of was— I’m going to die by Jin Jiuchi’s hands. And until the end, he wouldn’t even know who I am.

Jin Jiuchi grabbed a spear from the nearby guard, his silver eyes ablaze with anger as he swam towards Shen Nianzu.

No... Shen Nianzu’s breath abruptly hitched on his throat. Panic surged within him and he instinctively tried to escape, only to feel light-headed due to the excessive blood loss. He shook his head to alleviate the dizziness to no avail. No, he could not fail here. He had to finish the task and show who the real Shen Nianzu was!

Alas, time waited for no one. In a flash, Jin Jiuchi was upon him, his gaze falling on the bleeding wound on his abdomen.

Shen Nianzu shrank by reflex upon recalling the agonizing pain when the spear penetrated his flesh. He did not want to experience it for the second time, especially not by Jin Jiuchi’s hands! "Da Shen...!" he forced the words out of his damaged chords, his eyes wide and desperate.

But everything was too late, for Jin Jiuchi had already raised the spear.

A sickening sound of sharp weapon piercing through flesh echoed through the waters, followed by an ear-piercing shriek. Shen Nianzu snapped his eyes open – he did not even realize when he had squeezed them shut! – and raised his head in shock to witness the spear in Jin Jiuchi’s hand thrust into the stomach of the very merfolk guard who had attacked him earlier!

"How dare you..." Jin Jiuchi seethed, his voice filled with fury. His left eye began to turn black within a blink of an eye, like ink spreading in the silvery pool, with a glimmer of golden iris within. Intense anger radiated from him as he swung the spear and severed the guard’s neck with one precise move! "How dare you wound him... when I don’t even dare to hug him too hard, fearing that I will hurt him!"

Chaos erupted among the guards as they aimed their weapons at Jin Jiuchi, who stood before the deformed Shen Nianzu like an unyielding shield. "You... Do you realize what you have done?! You’re protecting the cursed creature!"

The other Shen Nianzu furrowed his brow in disapproval, questioning, "What is the meaning of this, Da Shen?"

Let alone him, even Shen Nianzu himself was taken aback by the sudden turn of events. He stared at Jin Jiuchi’s back in a daze, still unable to wrap his head around the current situation. His heart, which had been as bleak as ashes, began to soar as if spring had touched the barren desert. W-What was going on? Did Jin Jiuchi truly recognize him? But how?!

Jin Jiuchi threw his head back and laughed out loud, slightly maniacal. "I should be the one to ask you this question, you imposter! Do you think you will be able to fool me with Nian’er’s shell? You disgust me down to the bones with how ugly you are! All of you who want to hurt him..." he growled, fury shimmering in his heterochromatic eyes. "I will not let any of you get away with it!!"