When Love is a Question Mark
Chapter 49: Talk things out

Chapter 49: Talk things out

Zinnia took a deep breath, steadying her voice. "I’ve decided," she said, her words firm. "I’m not going to overthink it anymore. I’m tired of being pulled in two directions."

Samuel felt his heart pound in his chest. He wanted to ask what she meant, but the words got stuck in his throat.

Lily, on the phone, echoed his unspoken question. "What does that mean, Zinnia?"

Zinnia sighed, her voice more resolute. "It means I’m going to take things one day at a time. I’m going to focus on the good, the things that make me happy. I’m done trying to figure out every little detail of my feelings. Maybe I still love James, maybe I’ve fallen for Samuel. But I’m done letting that confusion control my life."

Samuel stood frozen, his emotions swirling inside him. On one hand, it felt like a small victory—Zinnia wasn’t outright choosing James over him. But on the other hand, she wasn’t fully choosing him either. She was stuck, caught between two people, and he had no idea how long she’d stay there.

He wanted to ask, And where does that leave us? But he couldn’t bring himself to speak.

Zinnia gave a small, sad smile, one that held both hope and resignation. "For now, I’m going to be happy with what we have. I’m not going to chase after some impossible clarity. I’m just going to let things be."

Samuel nodded slightly to himself, her words weighing on him. He knew he couldn’t push her, but the uncertainty was almost unbearable. He had no choice but to accept it.

"I understand," he whispered, more to himself than to her. The words felt hollow as they left his mouth.

It was then that Zinnia noticed Samuel standing in the doorway. Her heart skipped a beat in surprise. She hadn’t realized he was home, and by the look on his face, it was clear he had heard everything.

"Samuel?" she asked, startled. "When did you get home?"

On the other end of the phone, Lily’s voice echoed, equally shocked. "Wait, Samuel’s there? He heard you?"

Zinnia’s eyes stayed locked on Samuel, waiting for his response.

"I just got home," he replied, his voice quiet but steady. "You were so caught up in your conversation, I didn’t want to disturb you. But I ended up hearing... well, everything. Sorry for eavesdropping."

Zinnia felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

Samuel cleared his throat, breaking the silence. "I’ll, uh, go start dinner," he said, lifting a small grocery bag he had brought in. "I picked up a few things on the way."

Before Zinnia could say anything, Samuel had already turned toward the kitchen, walking quickly as if trying to escape the conversation he had just overheard.

Zinnia watched him for a moment, unsure of what to do. She had expected a confrontation, a conversation about everything he had heard. But instead, Samuel had retreated, hiding behind the task of making dinner.

"Zinnia?" Lily’s voice brought her back to the moment. "Are you okay?"

Zinnia shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. "Yeah... I’m okay," she replied, though she wasn’t sure if she believed it. "I’ll talk to you later, Lily. I need to handle this."

"Alright, but call me if you need to talk. Don’t keep me in the dark again," Lily said, her voice soft with concern.

"I will. Thanks, Lily," Zinnia said before hanging up the phone. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

For a moment, she stood in the living room, trying to gather her thoughts. Then, finally, she made her way toward the kitchen. The sound of Samuel chopping vegetables filled the quiet space, and for a brief second, everything felt normal. Just two people preparing dinner together. But the tension between them was heavy, impossible to ignore.

"Samuel," Zinnia began cautiously as she stepped into the kitchen.

He didn’t look up from the cutting board, his hands moving steadily as he chopped. "What’s up?" he asked, his tone casual, as if nothing significant had just happened.

Zinnia frowned, unsure of how to start. She could feel the emotional wall he had built between them, and it frustrated her. "We need to talk about what you heard."

Samuel paused briefly, his knife hovering above the vegetables, then he resumed chopping. "I heard enough," he said quietly. "I get it, Zinnia. You’re still figuring things out, and I don’t blame you."

"But—" Zinnia started, only to be cut off by Samuel.

"I meant what I said before," he continued, his voice calm but firm. "If you still love James, if he’s really alive and you want to be with him, I’ll step aside. I won’t make you stay with me."

Zinnia’s heart ached at his words. His selflessness was both touching and painful. "Samuel, it’s not that simple."

He finally looked up at her, his dark eyes full of seriousness. "Isn’t it?"

Zinnia shook her head and stepped closer to him. "No, it’s not. I care about you, Samuel. I do. And I don’t want you to think I’m just waiting for James to come back and sweep me off my feet. This whole situation has been confusing, but that doesn’t mean I’m choosing him over you."

Samuel’s expression softened, but the guarded look in his eyes stayed. "Then what do you want, Zinnia? Because right now, I don’t know where I stand with you."

Zinnia placed a hand on his arm. "I want us to figure this out together. I don’t have all the answers yet, but I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want us to drift apart because of all this uncertainty."

Samuel stared at her for a long moment, his gaze searching her face as if looking for some kind of reassurance, some kind of hope. Finally, he sighed and set the knife down on the counter. "Okay," he said softly. "We’ll figure it out together."

Zinnia smiled, relieved that he wasn’t pushing her away. But even though the immediate tension had lifted, she could still feel the unspoken fears and doubts hanging in the air between them. Neither of them was ready to confront it all, not yet.

For now, they would take things one day at a time.