Triple Moon Rising: An Omega's Destiny
Chapter 78: Searching for Feeling

Chapter 78: Searching for Feeling

Caleb POV

I threw the book across the library so hard it knocked over three others.

The pages were full of my own handwriting, love notes I’d obviously written to Lily during our time together. Sweet words about her laugh, her goodness, her beautiful eyes. But reading them felt like reading someone else’s diary. I could see the proof that I’d loved her, but I couldn’t feel it.

"Come on," I mumbled to myself, picking up another notebook. "Remember something. Anything."

This one had sketches of Lily’s face spread throughout my study notes. Dozens of them, drawn during moments when I should have been focused on pack business. The drawings showed someone completely in love, someone who couldn’t stop thinking about his mate long enough to focus.

But that someone wasn’t me. At least, it didn’t feel like me.

I slammed the notebook shut and headed for the door. Maybe being in places where we’d spent time together would help. Everyone kept telling me how happy we’d been. Surely something would spark a memory if I just tried hard enough.

The Moon Pool was my first stop. According to Aiden, this was where Lily and I had our first real talk after her mate mark appeared. I stood at the water’s edge, waiting for some kind of recognition.

Nothing.

I knelt down and touched the water like I’d supposedly done with Lily weeks ago. Still nothing. The pool was just water and stone to me, not the magical place where I’d fallen in love.

"This is hopeless," I said out loud.

"No, it’s not."

I spun around to find Elder Iris walking toward me with her usual slow speed. She looked older than ever, like something was weighing heavily on her mind.

"Elder Iris, I didn’t hear you coming."

"You were too busy trying to force memories that aren’t ready to return," she said, sitting carefully on a nearby rock. "Tell me, what do you feel when you look at this place?"

"Nothing," I replied. "I know Lily and I were here together, but it’s like looking at a photograph of strangers."

"And what do you feel when you think about Lily herself?"

I considered this carefully. "Sad," I said finally. "Not because I miss her, but because I know I should miss her. I can see how much I hurt her by not remembering, and that makes me feel bad."

Elder Iris nodded like this made perfect sense. "You’re mourning the loss of your own emotions."

"That’s exactly it!" I said, surprised she understood. "Everyone expects me to fight for her, to do whatever it takes to get her back. But how can I fight for someone I don’t remember loving?"

"Because love isn’t just a feeling, Caleb. It’s also a choice."

I shook my head. "That’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one pretending to care about someone while feeling empty inside."

Elder Iris stood up slowly. "Come with me. There’s something you need to see."

She led me to the pack house basement, to a storage room I’d never noticed before. Inside were boxes upon boxes of pack records going back generations.

"What are we looking for?" I asked.

"Proof that you’re not the first to go through this," she said, pulling out an ancient book. "Read this."

The notebook belonged to a wolf named Thomas who’d lived in our pack fifty years ago. As I read his entries, my blood ran cold. Thomas had been mated to a woman named Sarah, but during a pack crisis, their bond had been broken by magic. " ’Day 12: I visited our favorite tree today,’" I read aloud. " ’I found our names carved in the bark, proof that we were happy. But standing there felt like visiting a stranger’s grave. I know I loved Sarah, but I can’t remember what that love felt like.’"

The entries continued for months. Thomas desperately trying to reconnect with Sarah, visiting places they’d been together, reading old letters, looking at photographs. But the feelings never returned.

"What happened to them?" I asked, though I was scared to know.

"Keep reading," Elder Iris said quietly.

"’Day 89: Sarah is fading. The healers say it’s because our broken tie is slowly killing her. She needs our mate connection to live, but I can’t give her what I don’t feel. I’m watching the woman I apparently loved die because I can’t remember how to love her.’"

My hands started shaking. "Elder Iris, is this what’s happening to Lily? Is she dying because I can’t remember?"

"Read the last entry," she said instead of answering.

"’Day 107: Sarah died this morning. In her final moments, she looked at me and said she forgave me for forgetting. But I’ll never forgive myself. I lost her twice - once when the bond broke, and again when I couldn’t find my way back to loving her. If I could trade my life to bring back even one day of the feelings I lost, I would do it happily.’"

I stared at the book in horror. "This is my future, isn’t it? I’m going to watch Lily die while feeling nothing but guilt."

"Only if you give up," Elder Iris said. "Thomas made one crucial mistake."

"What mistake?" " He focused on trying to feel the old love instead of building new love. "

I looked at her confused. "What’s the difference?"

"The difference is that old love is based on memories you can’t reach. New love is based on the person standing in front of you right now." Elder Iris took the notebook from my trembling hands. "Stop trying to remember the Lily you loved before. Start getting to know the Lily who exists today."

"But what if I can’t love her the same way?"

"Who says you have to? Love isn’t about repeating the past, Caleb. It’s about picking someone’s future."

Her words hit me like lightning. I’d been so focused on trying to feel what I’d lost that I hadn’t considered building something new.

"There’s something else," Elder Iris said, her voice suddenly urgent. "Something I haven’t told anyone yet."

"What?"

"The shadow dogs that took Lily - they’re not just trying to kill her. They’re taking her memories too. Every day she remembers less about who she was, about the people she loved."

My heart stopped. "Including me?"

"Especially you," Elder Iris said grimly. "At the rate they’re working, she’ll forget you totally within days. And when she does..."

"When she does, what?"

Elder Iris met my eyes with an expression that scared me.

"When she forgets you totally, the mate bond will be severed forever. Not just broken - totally destroyed. And without any link between you, there will be no way to save her life."

Before I could reply, a howl echoed through the night. But it wasn’t a normal wolf cry. It was hollow and empty, like something trying to be a wolf.

"They’re here," Elder Iris whispered. "The shadow wolves have come to finish what they started."

And somewhere in the darkness, Lily was forgetting my name.