Transmigrated into a World of Reversed Roles
Im Sorry (Yona POV) 23

How many years has it been since that incident? An incident I’m sure I’ll never forget.

Back then, we were still little kids. Still in elementary school, my mind was always full of curiosity and a thirst for adventure.

Maybe it's normal for a girl to have that kind of personality at that age.

But the difference is—I was reckless and foolish.

Just because I wanted to show off a tree with a strange pattern I found in the mountains, I dragged my only precious friend to climb the mountain after school—without any adult supervision.

“Hey Yona… the sky’s getting cloudy… Is the tree you mentioned still far?”

He, clearly worried, couldn’t hide the uneasiness in his voice as he followed behind me—carefully watching his steps, while I walked ahead carelessly like a monkey, completely unafraid of slipping.

“Almost there, almost there! It’s a bit far, but I promise you’ll be amazed! The pattern is so weird, it might even be haunted!”

“Now I really don’t wanna see it…”

At first, everything was fine. Since we were still near the foot of the mountain, the path was relatively safe. But everything changed the higher we climbed. The trail became narrower and steeper. And then, the rain started falling.

“Ugh… Why is it raining today? It was so sunny yesterday.”

“I’m not interested in that tree anymore… Yona, let’s just go home. I have a bad feeling about this.”

“Ehh? We’re so close. Why are boys always so scared? Come on, take my hand. Don’t let go, okay? If we fall from here, we’ll die instantly!”

“D—Die!?”

“Hehe, I’m kidding. As long as you hold onto me, we’ll be fine. Let’s keep going. I even built a secret hideout up ahead. We can take shelter there.”

That was the greatest mistake of my life—ignoring his warning. Deep down, I also had a bad feeling about continuing. But my desire to impress him overrode my childish sense of judgment.

And just a few steps after I grabbed his hand—disaster struck.

I slipped. The rain had soaked everything, and the ground beneath my feet had become slick and unstable.

“Ah—”

All I saw below was a cliff. For a moment, I thought my life was over. I let go of his hand—not wanting to drag him down with me.

“Yona—!”

But he never let go. While clinging to a root sticking out from the dirt wall, his hand gripped mine tightly.

As a boy, he shouldn't have had that much strength. Yet despite trembling, in pain, and seemingly about to fall at any second, he refused to give up.

The rain poured harder. The soil got slipperier, his feet nearly gave way, and the root he held onto started to break.

But I held his hand back tightly, and with a surge of adrenaline—we both survived.

I was breathless, my heart pounding like crazy. My hands, feet, and clothes were all soaked in mud and dirt.

My emotions were in complete turmoil—I couldn’t even understand what I felt at the time.

Relief? Fear? Confusion?

My mind screamed to let it all out. But before I could cry, someone else was already crying in front of me.

“Waaaaaah—!”

He was so fragile.

The boy I used to think was whiny, fussy, and always complained—had just saved my life.

All I could do was hold back my own tears and hug him.

It was at that moment that I made up my mind. That I would never let something like that happen again—and if it did, it would be my turn to protect him.

But—I could never do that. My carelessness continued into adulthood.

And I even committed a mistake I could never undo. Because of me, he lost his hope of ever having a child.

Sitting on a bench, I stared at the palms of my hands—the ones that had let go of his grip—and clenched them tightly until they hurt.

“I knew it… he still hasn’t forgiven me.”

It hit me like a hammer of truth. Seeing his gaze earlier toward that happy family with a child—I knew he could never forgive me.

Sure, he said he forgave me. He still treated me the same afterwards. In fact, our relationship even got better. We… even kissed.

But… wasn’t that just pity he gave me?

I begged him. I begged for his forgiveness. I begged—so much that I confessed my feelings—feelings I myself wasn’t even sure were genuine.

Looking back now, wasn’t I so pathetic?

But because of his kindness, he continued to act normal—like nothing ever happened. He never once brought up his infertility again.

How stupid of me not to realize.

He had been pitying me all this time, and I thought our relationship was growing closer.

I still remember the night I thought was the most beautiful night of my life. I still remember how it felt to kiss his lips, and how his chest felt when I touched it.

But now… I only feel disgusted with myself. Wasn’t I just using his pity for my own gain?

When I was younger, I visited a relative whose husband was infertile. I still remember the cries he made after learning the truth. All the relatives visited him, offering sympathy for his misfortune.

Meanwhile, Ren—he couldn't possibly accept his situation that easily, could he?

The sun started to feel hot. Since I had given my hat to Ren, my head felt like it was burning—just like my thoughts.

Suddenly, a commotion pulled me from my daze. Several medics were rushing by.

They were heading toward the direction where Ren went earlier.

“What’s going on?”

I quickly stood up, grabbed my bag, and ran after them. Pushing through the crowd with difficulty, I finally reached the front—and saw Ren lying on the ground.

“Ren—!”

---

Standing in the hospital room, I looked at Ren’s figure lying unconscious on the bed. The evening light filtered through the windows, and the ticking of the clock filled the silence.

A doctor entered the room and stood beside me.

“Don’t worry, he’ll be asleep for a while. It’s just a fever, but the prolonged exposure to heat at the amusement park worsened his condition. Fortunately, he was brought here in time.”

“… Thank you.”

“No need to thank me. It’s our duty as doctors.”

The doctor adjusted her large round glasses.

“By the way, are you his girlfriend?”

“…”

I didn’t answer. But even if I wanted to, I couldn’t—because the doctor continued speaking.

“If you are his girlfriend, then you probably already know about his condition, right?”

“… You mean his infertility?”

“Yes. Due to the accident, his reproductive organs were damaged—he can’t bear children.”

You don’t need to tell me again. I already know. After all, I’m the one who caused it.

“So what?”

“I was actually the doctor who treated him back then. I didn’t bring it up again because his parents said he wasn’t in any relationship, but… since you’re here now, I’ll say this.”

The doctor paused and looked at me.

“For now, I ask that you refrain from any sexual activity. He’s still in recovery, and it could seriously damage his uterus and lower his already slim chances of conceiving in the future.”

“…”

Rain. Sweat. Couch. Towel. Stew. Kisses. Touches. Breaths. My mother.

Everything flashed back in my mind—so fast, so overwhelming—that even the crepe I had for lunch churned in my stomach.

I had promised myself to protect him. But how many times have I broken that promise now? He saved me from the cliff—yet here I am, pushing him over and over again.

My knees lost their strength. Falling, I could only lean against the hospital bed for support.

The tears I had held back for seven years since he saved me—finally burst out.

“I… I—I’m so sorry… Hic… Ren…”

If only I hadn’t gotten caught up in the moment and thought he’d forgiven me back then. If only I hadn’t bumped into him. If only he hadn’t saved me.

If only—I had died there.

I don’t know how long I cried. A large puddle had formed beneath my knees, soaking the floor. My sobs continued, though my tears had dried up.

Then, I saw a handkerchief offered to me. The doctor had crouched down, and in the reflection of her glasses—lit by the golden sunlight—I saw my own ugly face so clearly.

“So, you’ve already had sex with him, huh? If that’s the case, this’ll get complicated. I’m sorry—it’s completely my fault for not considering the chance he’d get a girlfriend.”

“… I haven’t done that with Ren.”

For some reason, that was the first thing I said.

Upon hearing that, the doctor didn’t look at me with the accusing eyes I expected. In fact, she looked relieved.

“I see… So you haven’t done it yet. In that case, there’s still hope to save him.”

“What do you mean…?”

“He’s not completely infertile. Even though it’s almost destroyed, there’s still a chance for surgery. If you really haven’t had sex with him yet, then the only thing left is for his family to gather the money.”

My eyes were dry, sore, and painful from crying too much. But I forced them open to catch every word the doctor spoke.

At last, it was my turn to speak.

“… How much will the surgery cost?”